Work with structure and clearly defined performance outcomes after my Ph.D?

Question

I'm a fourth year Ph.D candidate in Experimental Psychology who earned an MA also in Experimental Psychology as I matriculated into my Ph.D program. I am posting here because I've come to the hard realization that I enjoyed the concept of being a scientist moreso than I enjoy doing the work that comes with it. The reason I do not enjoy it is because it essentially boils down to doing things first and then only knowing how things are later. I was always a student who had extreme levels of anxiety when taking classes and needed a fair amount of peer support to even make it through them a lot of the time. I only credit making it through my first year of electives during my Ph.D thanks to the pandemic circumstances in 2020-2021 and all of the exams essentially becoming open note and open book, which meant I had to be resourceful rather than knowledgeable.

For example, I'm currently a visiting full time instructor at a SLAC and I have not enjoyed the position so far. I also think I'm not doing well, but I ultimately won't know that until I see my reviews and meet with the chair. I bring that example up because I'm completely oblivious as to whether concerns are in my head vs. whether they are real all the time. I'm constantly finding myself asking for reassurances or I feel like I'm waiting on someone to give me the go ahead for doing more than the bare minimum because I'm afraid of what I'm doing falling outside the scope of what someone wants (this has happened to me a lot of the time back when I was doing coursework and I would get marked down for that).

In undergrad, my parents hired a life coach for all years so I could just get through undergrad. My gap year, someone worked with me on my graduate school applications so I could get into MA programs (I had no shot of Ph.D at the time). When I was in my MA program my second year, I worked with that same person for my Ph.D applications. I am also working with them yet again for my post Ph.D job applications now. While I'm glad I have external support, I realize that all of it came at the cost of me developing the ability to complete my work independently. I also never worked on multiple research projects outside of class at the same time either and only did one at a time because I waited on my MA advisor to say something if that was a problem or not. Even when I had the chance to do other projects last academic year, they were and still are on the table.

This all brings me to my main point. What are some post Ph.D jobs I could do that have a clear structure and defined performance outcomes? I would do a research assistant or research scientist role, but I've been told I'd be overqualified for such a position. I have a Schedule A hiring letter since I fall under my state's criterion as a disabled worker, but I'm not sure if that will help (or if that detail matters to you all, if it doesn't than ignore it).

Edit: To be clear, when I say "worked on" applications I'm referring to copy editing in this case. This is not meant to imply they did it for me, I still had to bring my own ideas to the table. I also still had to follow the outline they gave me and do my own "homework."

Answer 1

The reason I do not enjoy it is because it essentially boils down to doing things first and then only knowing how things are later.

I don't understand, this is sort of just how science works. We do the experiment and then do the data analysis, we don't do the analysis first and then the experiment, this is pretty much true for any empirical work outside of economic forecasting, right?

Anyways... If you want to get a good job using your degree, you need to know how to work independently on things, and if you're not doing that now, it's a skill you simply must develop.

That's the bigger issue I see: motivation. Or to put it a different way, hunger. Being a PHD in a research position (academic or otherwise) is in some sense about wanting to improve your field via the work that we do, especially as an empirical scientist. You have to wake up every single day, with the attitude that you're excited to be in the field you're in and doing what you're doing: you need to be hungry, you need to "really" really want it.

I also never worked on multiple research projects outside of class at the same time either and only did one at a time because I waited on my MA advisor to say something if that was a problem or not.

This is part of what I mean. I'm not saying that we shouldn't rely on our advisors or that should overburden ourselves, but part of being an empirical scientist is about taking the initiative for your own work. It's about learning to not have your hand held by your advisor.

Ask yourself: why did you want to get a PHD in the first place? What was your motivation for doing so? Was it because you loved experimental psych and literally couldn't see yourself doing anything else at all? I'm not trying to be mean in saying any of this, I guess I'm just trying to understand where this is coming from, is it imposter syndrome or something similar?

The reason I'm saying all of this, is because I do not believe that looking for other jobs (that you get to use your degree for anyways) with clearer structure or very well defined outcomes will help you here. Even if you went to the industry as an analyst if some kinda, they'll still demand some degree of independence and initiative, that isn't something unique to academic PHD positions, that'll be true pretty much anywhere you go where your PHD will matter.

Answer 2

Congratulations! You are a lot more self-aware of your strengths and weaknesses than most people. I would suggest you write them down along with what you now know you like, and do not like to do.

There are (relatively inexpensive) online assessments that can help you relate your likes to different types of jobs. You can then compare the corresponding list with your credentials.

I’m not sure if you said you want to remain in academia but your degree can actually be used in industry, consulting, etc spending upon your area of study.

Good luck