1

So my professor lost a family member a couple of weeks ago and went back home. I have not communicated with him since he announced this (in a lab meeting), work-related or otherwise, because I was just too scared to say anything that soon (yes, scared; although he's not scary at all).

Anyway, so now he's back and I need to send him an email about a work related matter. But I also don't want him to think that I just don't care and act as if nothing happened (should I?). It seems to me that sending two separate emails, one saying "sorry for your loss" and the other saying "yeah so let's have a meeting" does not make sense. So I was thinking of saying something along the lines of:

Hi,

First, so sorry for your loss and hope you're doing fine.

Also, we need to meet about my thesis.

Best

But I'm not sure if this is appropriate. Any suggestions?

Improve this question
2
  • This is delicate, and I don't know that there is the answer to the question. Personally, I would not expect a grieving person to get any work done for a week or two, and would err on the side of giving them that space. As such, I would think that condolences are entirely appropriate, but work related communication should wait until they initiate. If more time has passed (as it seems is the case), I might still send a condolences email, and then wait a couple of days for a reply before asking about work. But, again, I don't know that there is a right answer to this.
    – Xander Henderson
    Commented Jul 6, 2023 at 1:18
  • Thanks you for your comment. He did say (in an email announcing he's going to be away) that hopefully things will be back to normal once he's back. That's why I thought it would be fine to mention the work stuff.
    – Feri
    Commented Jul 6, 2023 at 1:54

2 Answers 2

Reset to default
2

It is probably better to send two mails, at least several hours apart. Make the first one personal and the second professional.

We don't know how the professor would react to a combined mail, so probably best to avoid it. A day apart or so would be better, especially if a meeting can't be held for a while.

Improve this answer
2

That he's back at work is a signal that is okay to contact him about work related matters as you normally would.

Since you're arranging to meet him anyway, it think it would be better to express your condolences at the start of that meeting rather than via email, however if you wish to put it in the email then that is also acceptable. What comes across as weird in your draft is the inclusion of an "also". Just put the condolences in the first line and write the rest of the email exactly as you normally would:

Title: Thesis Meeting

Dear [Professor],

I was sorry to hear of your loss, and hope you are doing okay.

I need to meet with you regarding my thesis, and discuss [x], when would be a good time for this meeting? I am free [whenever].

I would not send two emails, the time for an email simply of condolences has already passed.

Improve this answer

You must log in to answer this question.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .