Parents attending thesis defense?

Question

My wife is defending her thesis soon, and in her department, defenses are open to the public. I will be there along with several of her friends/colleagues. Her mom also wants to come to the defense. In terms of her committee's perception, I could see this being viewed as weird or maybe unprofessional. Then again, it could be harmless, and her mom really wants to come. I also happen to be in the business of trying to keep my mother-in-law happy :)

How would this look from the perspective of her committee? Do parents ever come to defenses? I haven't really heard of this before. I want my wife to have the best chance at passing her defense, but I also don't want to come across as a grouchy husband that appears to be saying, "Your mom can't be here."

This is a Nutritional Sciences department in the United States. It is a somewhat unique situation in that students typically start a dietetic internship a week or so after defending the thesis. The internship takes months to plan for the student since it involves organization with preceptors at multiple locations.

At our university, there are three possible results from a defense: passing, passing with modifications, or failing. Passing with heavy modifications could result in a delay (of a month or more) in starting the internship. This recently happened to another student.

My wife asked me to ask this question here as she wants to focus on getting prepared for the defense. She initially asked for my gut feeling on her mother attending, and I had never heard of this before, nor had she. The defense is coming up very soon ;) and she did not feel comfortable asking her advisor a question like this so late. Also her advisor is not the most responsive to email so she might not even hear in time (I know that this will probably invoke statements that she should get over it or that she should not have picked this advisor, but this is not the point of the question). For the record, I would never tell my wife who she could or could not have at her defense. I'm just trying to be helpful :) It's encouraging to hear from the comments that parent attendance at a defense is fairly common place, so it will probably be no big deal.

Answer 1

Your wife should ask this question to people in her department.

The style and expectations of defenses vary hugely from one place to another. As other answerers mention, it’s pretty normal in the US to have family and friends at the defense. But it’s not absolutely ubiquitous, and I’ve known the expectations to vary even between different departments at a single university. So the best way to be sure is to ask around in the department — ideally, ask some faculty members who’ve been around long enough to see a few defenses — and confirm with them whether it’s usual to have family members there.

(In any case, it certainly shouldn’t affect the committee’s academic assessment of her; at worst, it would be seen as a bit of a social faux pas. But nobody wants to be worrying about social issues during their defense, and it can’t hurt to ask.)

Answer 2

Open to the public means ... open to the public (presuming they can sit quietly in a room for 2 hours or however long your wife's defense is).

Moreover, (edit though I thought I was clear), it's very common in the US for family including parents and spouses to attend PhD defenses.

My wife and parents came to my defense (philosophy PhD USA). As did a friend of ours who was a foreigner living in America with no connection to philosophy. A philosophy PhD defense at least at my institution is them drilling you with every objection and reason that they think you're wrong for two solid hours.

While I assume a nutrition science PhD has a different format, I hope that neither the committee nor the person defending the dissertation has much time to look around and see who came and to think odd thoughts about the professionalism of the candidate based on who came to their defense.

Answer 3

In many parts of Europe and in Turkey (where I'm from), it is very common and normal - expected, even - for one's parents to attend their thesis defense.

The thesis defense is an important life event akin to one's graduation, marriage, etc. Especially when the event is designated as "open the to public," I think it would be weird if the parents did not attend.

My own parents attended my master's thesis defense (in Turkey), and they will surely attend my PhD defense as well. Practically all of my friends with PhDs have had their parents attend their defenses (in Turkey, Europe, and the US). The ones that defended without their parents being present did so because they were studying overseas, and their families could not make the trip.

In many cases the families not only attended, but brough cookies, pastries, etc. as well; as treats for the other guests and the committee. This in particular could be a bit unusual in the US, but it is common in Turkey and (I'm told) in Europe as well.

So, there are cultural differences in how this is handled, but there is definitely no universal norm that says to keep the family out of the thesis defense completely. In some cultures, the norm is for parents to attend.

Answer 4

I have witnessed parents (up to cousins) attending masters of science, PhD defences and even habilitation theses. I think my mother is still a little angry I did not formally invite her to mine, while my brother did.

What is nice though, is to warn attendees about the protocol, the duration and the formal aspects (avoid pictures and loud jokes).

So if the PhD does not contains confidential parts, I see no issue. A PhD can be full of emotion, it is quite an achievement, and I have never seen jury members complain against a family audience. Moreover, it is sometimes an occasion for them to talk with people of the same age at the celebration:)

Answer 5

Edit: The question has now been edited to clarify that your wife did specifically ask you for advice on this, so the concerns I expressed in this answer aren't operative in your case. I'm glad to hear it!

I'll leave the answer up since the underlying issues will apply to other situations.

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This is none of your business.

Your wife is a professional and she is responsible for her own career. There is no reason that you should try to interpose yourself, even to encourage her towards a path that you feel will help her chances.

One of you has spent many years in this department and seen other students graduate, and one of you has not; your question makes clear that you do not have personal knowledge about this situation. She is an expert in this situation compared to you. So you are proposing to interfere with a situation that you do not understand from a position of ignorance, just because you have an uninformed feeling that this "could be viewed as weird". (At least you had the sense to ask here first, I suppose.)

Even if you did have extensive experience with the conventions of her specific field and knew that this could be an issue, it's not your place to butt in unasked and try to control her professional life. (Your comment that you don't want to be the grouchy husband that appears to be saying 'Your mom can't be here' makes clear that your involvement was not asked for.)

It's admirable that you want to support your wife. You should do so by providing in her private life the support she needs to excel in her professional life; not by inviting yourself to concern yourself with the details of her career development.