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Dan Romik
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There is the issue of propriety, and there is the somewhat separate issue of the appearance of propriety. Although I agree with @Buffy that from an ethical point of view all that really matters is that you are applying for the grant in good faith with the intention of actually carrying out the research you are proposing, the fact that the intended research is with your significant other certainly has the potential to create the appearance that, at the very least, you are mixing your personal interests with your stated professional goals in a somewhat unhealthy and perhaps ethically compromised way (and no, it’s not really comparable to “wanting to live in Paris” as in Buffy’s example - as evidenced for example by the fact that you were concerned enough about doing this to ask this question). And at worst, some observers who learn of this may be inclined to assume an unethical motivation and regard this as a (perhaps mild) form of abuse of the grant funding system. Whether they are correct or not is besides the point; people sometimes jump to incorrect conclusions, and you should protect your reputation.

My advice is to disclose the relationship and let the people in charge of the grant decide if this is a problem or not. If they are okay with it, no one can fault you for accepting the funding — you have a watertight defense in case someone down the road criticizes your actions. And if they aren’t, well, there’s a pretty strong case to be made that hiding that information with the intent of increasing your chances of receiving the funding would have been somewhat unethical. It’s maybe in a gray area of things that people do once in a while and usually get away with, but I wouldn’t recommend it, both because it’s ethically problematic and so you can sleep better at night.

Dan Romik
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  • 682