How to differentiate "imposter syndrome" from actual lack of suitability for grad. school/academia?

Question

A lot of graduate students/applicants, it seems, suffer from "imposter syndrome." Typically, these are bright, high-achieving students, who nonetheless doubt their ability, and this most likely stems from the competitive and selective nature of grad. school and academia. However, how can one tell if they're suffering from "imposter syndrome" or if they're really not cut out for graduate school/academia?

The difference that I see (between myself and these students) is that their professors believe in them, wrote them letters of recommendation, plus they have good research skills (even if they don't see it in themselves, others do). Despite doing well in my coursework (which doesn't even indicate much given rampant grade inflation), I could tell that most of my professors lacked confidence in me (at least I think). For example, when I initially applied to grad school (unsuccessfully), one of my professors wrote me a letter of recommendation that seemed almost sarcastic in its praise. For example, he described a paper I wrote as being among the "top 10 papers he's ever seen from a student in his 20 years of teaching." The paper, however, was only around 10 pages (that was the requirement), plus I used some dubious sources (i.e. newspaper and online articles etc.) because I was in a rush. (There were no requirements on sources, and I received an A on the paper, but once one gets to upper division classes, they should know to only use scholarly sources.) Thus, this couldn't have been one of the top ten papers he's ever read. (Or he's taught some pretty weak students!) (And he didn't even qualify it with "top 10 undergraduate papers," which also confirms that he was probably being sarcastic.)

This is only one example, but I can tell that others don't believe in me. So I wanted to ask if I could be suffering from imposter syndrome or if I'm one who really isn't cut out for academia? That might be too much of an individualistic question, so I'll instead ask: how can one tell if they're suffering from imposter syndrome or if they really are an "imposter?"

Answer 1

We can’t tell from what you write how promising you really are. But I can say you’re showing many classic signs of impostor syndrome.

Believe the assessments you receive from instructors.

At least in my experience (the US and NW Europe), “sarcasm” is very rare, and considered quite unprofessional. I would certainly be shocked to see it used in a letter of recommendation, or a formal course report, or anything like that. It might be used in informal personal feedback, but this would be unusual, and considered by most academics today as inappropriate and unprofessional, or (at best) regrettably old-fashioned.

Grade inflation is a realistic concern to some extent, as is “praise inflation” in letters of recommendation. But it sounds like you’re taking this concern far over the top — don’t discount grades or praise entirely. If your instructor praised the paper, it really does mean he was impressed by it. Sure, you are aware of the flaws in it — but he saw those flaws, and nonetheless remembered it as very impressive overall. (Incidentally, it isn’t at all unusual for a paper to have some sloppiness, but still be extremely impressive by showing good insights, knowledge, or exposition.) Which brings me to:

Don’t judge yourself by a double standard compared to your peers.

There’s a saying: “We compare our own behind-the-scenes to everybody else’s highlight reels.” Everything you write sounds like what that describes: When you get praise or positive feedback, you are looking for reasons to discount it; but you are taking your peers’ positive feedback at face value. At the same time, you say you see lack of confidence in you from professors, but everything concrete you mention is positive.

These are all massive red flags for impostor syndrome. It’s always hard to judge our own capabilities, but when in doubt, look at the most concrete feedback you’ve received from people whose judgement you trust, and take it at face value, especially compared to the feedback they give your peers. If you look for specific reasons to discount it, you’ll always find some, because you know your own life and flaws better than anyone else. (Just like when an arrogant person looks for reasons to discount criticism, they can always find some good excuse.) So, fight any tendencies to discount feedback, either positive or negative. Try to believe your professors’ assessments and feedback, praise and criticism, and take both on board. Good luck!

Answer 2

"top 10 papers he's ever seen from a student in his 20 years of teaching."

That is not them being sarcastic, for one thing the professor should know that sarcasm does not translate well between cultures (and translates very badly when written down, hence why we are even having this discussion as different people believe differently as to whether it is sarcasm or not). Besides the reference gains nothing from sarcasm, if they didn't believe in you then the reference would be a much weaker "I know this person and taught them XX and they scored YY in my class", or they wouldn't have even agreed to write a letter for you.

That is a typical statement I see in reference letter written by American professors, to place the applicant in context with others they have taught. They are simply trying to give their expert opinion on you compared to your peers.

As to applying elsewhere, that's just good practice. Applying for anything in academia is hard and there is limited space. If anything applying to extra places helps you to write better applications, which can then help when you apply to your "dream" location.

Answer 3

Compare to your peers.

If you plot the performance of all your peer group, you'll find it looks like a Gaussian because of the Central Limit Theorem. Then see where you are on that curve. If you're above average, you are suffering from imposter syndrome.

If you scored an "A" on that paper, you should be above average (I can almost guarantee that the average grade is below that, especially if you are in a class that is grading on a curve). In turn that makes your professor's statement that your paper is among the top ten he's seen in the past 20 years more believable, and more likely that you are suffering from imposter syndrome.

By the way, about citing newspaper and online articles, check out reference 1 in this paper, which according to Google has 24,099 citations as of time of writing.

Answer 4

As an additional important point: whatever your current state of scholarship and maturity, it is not static.

If nothing else, having observed literally 1000+ grad students in math over the last 40+ years, huge changes occur in people in that 20-28 year-old range. I've seen people who seemed silly and unfocused do amazingly good things a few years later.

And, as always, "failure" is only a temporary state... unless you give up.

Another: if, regardless of what other people are saying about you, you can buy groceries and pay rent by doing what you like, you are a success.

Don't over-think it. I know, academe pointedly makes us doubt ourselves... Not the best feature.

Answer 5

I have Impostor Syndrom and I wanted to share a bit on it.

I was considered really brillant during primary school, I had really good grades, but it all went crashing down until I had to retake a year in IT engineering school.
During the duration of this school, I was always on the brink of having failling grades, sometimes I did have some really bad, failing grades. I never had a project which could have made me proud.
Nonetheless, I obtained my diploma and went to work 3 months later. I was fired 5 months later.
I went into depression after 4 month of not finding back any work, despite having multiple interviews. I came to believe I shouldn't have had my diploma.

Even with all I said, now I know. I am worth it.
If you are not sure, ask your former teachers. They don't have any reason to lie to you. Do not look too deep into why you had such or such grades, why others reacted such or such way. As I understand it, it's your own doubt that you see reflected into others.

To be sure, I can only recommend you go see a coach whom you can talk this issue with. I did not answer the question (how to recognize...), but I wanted to share my feeble experience with someone who might be going by the same phases.