I believe you should never include "Submitted to Journal of Blah"; it conveys no information and it's tacky. (And just because Terry Tao does it doesn't make it okay.)
I won't post a new version of a paper just because it has been accepted. However, if I do upload a newer version, I'll include in the comments "Final version, to appear in Journal of Blah" (here is an example from one of my papers).
Once the paper is published, with page numbers and everything (which can often be years -- my paper above was accepted in April 2010, published January 2013), there is a formform you can use to add the journal reference and DOI to the arXiv page. Conveniently, this does not generate a new version, so there's no reason not to (you can see this on my paper above -- the reference and DOI were added last week, but no new version of the paper was generated).