Timeline for Should I quit my PhD - workload, self-esteem and social life [closed]
Current License: CC BY-SA 3.0
65 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
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| Sep 6, 2020 at 19:16 | comment | added | user111388 | However a "fat loser" is defined, it is Independent from having a phd degree. | |
| Jun 4, 2019 at 8:10 | comment | added | essay | I just stumbled on this question and now I'm intrigued (having been in a similar situation myself). @Jennifer, what did you end up doing? | |
| Jan 7, 2016 at 21:23 | comment | added | mathreadler | There can be social, professional and emotional complications to quitting a PhD. For instance it can take a toll on your own self-image - if you have internalized a feeling of failure. It can make other people think you weren't good or smart or strong enough. And it may be a challenge to show that they are wrong without making the hard-working people who endured getting their PhD angry at you for not putting up with the same struggle - kind of questioning their own decision to endure. Those people may turn out to be in the other end interviewing you for job opportunities in the future. | |
| Apr 5, 2015 at 4:41 | comment | added | M R R | You have got admission from top university. But you can not loose wight !!! You underestimate your self very much. | |
| Mar 13, 2015 at 10:13 | review | Reopen votes | |||
| Mar 14, 2015 at 3:19 | |||||
| Feb 22, 2015 at 20:17 | review | Reopen votes | |||
| Feb 23, 2015 at 15:52 | |||||
| Feb 22, 2015 at 8:48 | history | closed |
Cape Code gerrit Bob Brown user1482 ff524 |
Not suitable for this site | |
| Feb 22, 2015 at 8:48 | comment | added | ff524 | Based on the current state of the meta question, I'm going to vote to close this question again. I'm glad you yourself sought help from a qualified professional, and I sincerely hope things get better for you. | |
| Feb 21, 2015 at 21:05 | answer | added | einpoklum | timeline score: 2 | |
| Feb 21, 2015 at 20:36 | comment | added | Jennifer | Update: I saw a therapist about this. Turns out I'm bipolar and should probably take medication. | |
| Feb 21, 2015 at 19:20 | answer | added | giaour | timeline score: 1 | |
| Feb 21, 2015 at 3:37 | answer | added | I Like to Code | timeline score: 1 | |
| Feb 20, 2015 at 22:12 | comment | added | dshapiro | I had similar qualms about grad school and concerns about leaving as you do. I didn't want to lose the prestige of having a Ph.D. from the top school in the world for what I was studying. I dropped out. I'm very happy I left; I love the job I have now. Just be honest with yourself about why you want a Ph.D. (wanting more value as a person is not a good reason to stay). | |
| Feb 20, 2015 at 16:52 | comment | added | user137 | Graduate students have a much higher chance of being depressed than the general population. I highly recommend seeing a professional for the depression. The stress from grad school probably aggravates underlying issues. That said, finishing your PhD gives opportunities your friends in industry won't have without one. I wish I could say academia has less stress as you go on after grad school, but I would be wrong. But industrial work with a PhD is probably better than without one. | |
| Feb 19, 2015 at 18:37 | comment | added | B B | It's completely up to you what you do with your life. I spent way too many years in academia, BS, MS, PhD. I am not currently using my PhD, it is practically irrelevant to my career. I thoroughly enjoyed the years I spent getting it, though. It was a struggle, but it instilled discipline and self-reliance in me. Do what you want, but don't lose sight of the fact that everyone in a PhD program has depression and massive self-doubts. The truth is, no place in 'industry' is any picnic, either. It's just a different set of issues and frustrations. | |
| Feb 19, 2015 at 13:21 | comment | added | ButterDog | You can solve the "poorly dressed" problem quite easily. Find help from a friend if necessary and find a style that fits you. That could help you feel more confident about yourself in the future. | |
| Feb 19, 2015 at 11:56 | comment | added | Ant | The problem seems to be you do not think your actions will have any significant change in your life; you take as hypothesis that you are a fat loser who wear glasses. That can change! If they bother you, lose the glasses, and start losing weight. If you think of these as unrealistic objectives, then there it is your problem! It seems to me that much of your frustration comes from the fact that you feel helpless. | |
| Feb 19, 2015 at 8:33 | comment | added | Bryce | Learn to accept yourself for who you are. Appreciate your strengths. Understand your values and what is most and least important to you. Accept your weaknesses because everyone has weaknesses, and they can't just be wished away. Don't worry so much about what others think of you - they are probably so self absorbed they don't think of you at all. How will you think of yourself 5, 10 years from now in these various scenarios? What would make you the most proud of yourself? What would position you to maximize your values? Make that your Plan A. And pick a good Plan B, just in case! | |
| Feb 19, 2015 at 5:19 | vote | accept | Jennifer | ||
| Feb 18, 2015 at 23:29 | answer | added | benroth | timeline score: 2 | |
| Feb 18, 2015 at 20:11 | comment | added | Zibbobz | Also, you have a Graduate degree. I know thousands of people who would kill just for that. You are far from a 'fat loser'. In fact, you're already accomplished a great deal. And you CAN go back and finish a degree - you may lose some credit that is no longer accepted, but you can always, always finish a degree in the future. | |
| Feb 18, 2015 at 20:10 | comment | added | Zibbobz | If you did all of those things as a kid, you were a remarkable child prodigy and I envy you. Realistically, and unrelated to your question about whether to continue with a PH. D, you need to take a step back and consider if your expectations are reasonable. There is such a thing as giving yourself too much pressure. | |
| Feb 18, 2015 at 20:07 | comment | added | seteropere | You only need to work less and start changing your lifestyle. Start do things at night. Reward yourself. The reason for working hard is the fact that you enjoy what you are doing. I bet your advisor is happy with your progress as it is now but you keep pushing yourself harder. Do Not. this will end up very bad. | |
| Feb 18, 2015 at 19:59 | answer | added | ARM | timeline score: 6 | |
| Feb 18, 2015 at 19:47 | answer | added | Blaisorblade | timeline score: 2 | |
| Feb 18, 2015 at 19:36 | comment | added | Smig | I'm not competent to provide an answer but your question hit home with me. I felt the same way; I quit more than 10 years ago, and looking back at it, I'm so glad I did. My case had many caveats that made that decision a whole lot easier so I don't want to imply that it's the right choice for you, but even though I felt like a complete loser when I quit, everything turned out fine. I'd just suggest that, if you do quit, look for jobs with clear paths of progression, because once you're in, your qualifications will mean a whole lot less. | |
| Feb 18, 2015 at 18:30 | history | protected | jakebeal | ||
| Feb 18, 2015 at 17:15 | answer | added | thomij | timeline score: 4 | |
| Feb 18, 2015 at 16:36 | answer | added | Dunk | timeline score: 0 | |
| Feb 18, 2015 at 16:22 | answer | added | Aru Ray | timeline score: 138 | |
| Feb 18, 2015 at 14:32 | answer | added | Mathematics | timeline score: 2 | |
| Feb 18, 2015 at 14:30 | review | Close votes | |||
| Feb 19, 2015 at 2:00 | |||||
| Feb 18, 2015 at 13:11 | history | reopened |
Piotr Migdal Nobody RoboKaren Aru Ray Alexandros |
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| Feb 18, 2015 at 12:16 | review | Reopen votes | |||
| Feb 18, 2015 at 13:13 | |||||
| Feb 18, 2015 at 10:08 | comment | added | xLeitix | @Davidmh I have created such a question on meta: meta.academia.stackexchange.com/questions/1581/… | |
| Feb 18, 2015 at 8:35 | comment | added | Davidmh | @ff524 for some reason, I can't log in. "The request looks suspicious". I brought it up on the main site, but didn't get any answer, and now it is deleted. | |
| Feb 18, 2015 at 5:06 | comment | added | ff524 | @Davidmh You can bring it to meta; no special access is required (only 5 reputation is needed for meta participation) | |
| Feb 18, 2015 at 0:15 | comment | added | Davidmh | @Jennifer some of the things you say are concerning. If you think you may have a depression (or something similar), please, seek professional help. A depression has a 15% chance of going away without therapy. If that were your case, a professional can help you to see your real situation so you can make the best decision for you. | |
| Feb 18, 2015 at 0:08 | comment | added | Davidmh | This question has been deemed off topic, but still, it has amassed a lot of up votes. Can anyone with access to bring this up in meta? | |
| Feb 17, 2015 at 21:56 | comment | added | Faheem Mitha | Random, probably useless suggestion. Consider learning dancing. Dancing is really good exercise, is social, and is fun. This may or may not be a useful suggestion, depending on your location. Dance classes themselves can be fun, though at some point you'll want to venture to actual dances. Consider it. NOTE: this suggestion has nothing to do with academia, but as others have noted, the question isn't really about academia either. | |
| Feb 17, 2015 at 17:37 | comment | added | Patricia Shanahan | One practical solution I found to lack of exercise while studying for a PhD: I rigged a book stand on the handlebars of a stationary exercise bike. That way, I could get an hour of reading academic papers and an hour of aerobic exercise in one hour of elapsed time. | |
| Feb 17, 2015 at 15:13 | comment | added | CaptainCodeman | Yeah, what Peter said. It seems like most of your problems have little to do with your PhD and would therefore follow you around in other occupations. | |
| Feb 17, 2015 at 14:53 | history | closed |
Davidmh Peter Jansson enthu jakebeal ff524 |
Not suitable for this site | |
| Feb 17, 2015 at 14:30 | answer | added | Ivana | timeline score: 2 | |
| Feb 17, 2015 at 14:29 | answer | added | pojo-guy | timeline score: 4 | |
| Feb 17, 2015 at 14:19 | comment | added | Peter Bloem | If you quit the PhD and do all the things you mention in your first paragraph, you will be more stressed than you were with the PhD. Doing all those things is sold to us as a normal life, but I think the truth is you'll always feel like you're neglecting parts of your life and that there are things you should be doing. Before you decide to quit, consider that maybe the PhD isn't the problem. Maybe this is an anxiety you would experience whatever occupation you choose. | |
| Feb 17, 2015 at 12:51 | comment | added | xLeitix | @CaptainCodeman That argument seems ... iffy. Many things are designed to make money, and they still deliver value to their customers. And correlation != causality - especially in that case it seems very plausible that a clientele that would want to make use of online dating also has other problems leading to depression. | |
| Feb 17, 2015 at 11:18 | answer | added | Murphy | timeline score: 28 | |
| Feb 17, 2015 at 10:33 | history | edited | Piotr Migdal | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
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| Feb 17, 2015 at 10:26 | answer | added | Piotr Migdal | timeline score: 5 | |
| Feb 17, 2015 at 10:23 | comment | added | CaptainCodeman | @Jennifer Dating websites are designed to make money, they fundamentally don't work; neither for men nor for women. Research shows a high correlation between online dating and depression. I would recommend not doing it. | |
| Feb 17, 2015 at 10:21 | answer | added | CaptainCodeman | timeline score: 4 | |
| Feb 17, 2015 at 10:18 | comment | added | JimmyB | "I feel like I work a lot harder than my friends in industry" - Maybe you do. Maybe that's not too bad after all. If you learn how to deal with this kind of stressful episodes, this will give you a strong advantage in any carreer you may be into now or later. But maybe you work too much. Maybe you can do something about the workload. Are you really forced/required to work so much? Or is it your own ambition that drives you to strive for the best you can do? Did you talk to your advisor about the workload you feel is too much? Some people also have a hard time when it comes to say "no"... | |
| Feb 17, 2015 at 9:58 | answer | added | Giacomo Alessandroni | timeline score: 7 | |
| Feb 17, 2015 at 9:50 | answer | added | Ander Biguri | timeline score: 12 | |
| Feb 17, 2015 at 9:31 | answer | added | xLeitix | timeline score: 25 | |
| Feb 17, 2015 at 9:08 | comment | added | Olórin | You are not a fat loser | |
| Feb 17, 2015 at 9:06 | review | Close votes | |||
| Feb 17, 2015 at 14:57 | |||||
| Feb 17, 2015 at 8:54 | answer | added | Aubrey | timeline score: 61 | |
| Feb 17, 2015 at 8:47 | history | edited | Jennifer | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
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| Feb 17, 2015 at 8:42 | comment | added | Jennifer | By fat I mean I am nearly 200 pounds and my parents always tell me I need to lose weight. I am not tall either. | |
| Feb 17, 2015 at 8:40 | comment | added | Jennifer | There is just too much stuff to do, especially since my advisor does not have money and I need to TA while taking classes and doing research. Also I know I am ugly because when I go on websites like OkCupid, my friends get a lot more messages than me. However, I have been getting more messages ever since I joined a PhD program. I have also submitted my picture to rankmyphotos.com and got a very low rating. | |
| Feb 17, 2015 at 8:37 | comment | added | user22080 | What make you having so many negative thought if you like your research and advisor? Does your description reflect how people around you(e.g. friends, family members) evaluate you, or your own imagination? | |
| Feb 17, 2015 at 8:34 | review | First posts | |||
| Feb 17, 2015 at 8:42 | |||||
| Feb 17, 2015 at 8:29 | history | asked | Jennifer | CC BY-SA 3.0 |