Timeline for Should I ask my advisor to please pretend that he is happy with me until the end of my contract?
Current License: CC BY-SA 4.0
17 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
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| May 19, 2020 at 12:04 | comment | added | Mahta Mira | Dear @ maybe I see everything dark because I am emotionally not feel well. But, I believe that he generally does not take me serious, for instance our monthly private meetings with him take more than 30 min for each lam member but for me just took less than 3 min. Or, today online lab meeting, he assigned two postdoc to comment on a manuscript in peer review step but did not mention me I then asked, and me? he replied especially you but I felt that was a forcefully reply. However, thanks for sharing your point of views | |
| May 18, 2020 at 20:29 | comment | added | Kat | @MahtaMira is it possible that your boss just has trouble understanding you? Your question and comments here are a bit confusing, and the feedback he gave on your presentation suggests he doesn't feel your communication is clear. It can be tiring to interact with someone when communication is a struggle, so that may be all it is. | |
| May 16, 2020 at 16:02 | comment | added | Captain Emacs | Actually, Simon has a point. In the UK it seems to be ok to ask where someone is from, but in Germany, it has a smell, because a question like that often is assumed to have (and sometimes has) a xenophobic undertone. "When are you going back" is therefore not equally innocent in Germany as it might be elsewhere. Now that we know the context (supervisor made a number of remarks about OP presentations), OP's interpretation may be right. If OP believes that they can do better, they should look out for a different group or even country. | |
| May 16, 2020 at 15:12 | comment | added | Frank Hopkins | @SSimon and the others aren't. There is lots of room for interpretation as we don't have the conversation verbatim and OP seems to have difficulty interpreting everything correctly as the whole situation comes across as a bit weird. Btw. starting your name with SS, how vulgar and extremist! You see, context matters! (if you don't know the reference I'm getting at: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schutzstaffel) | |
| May 16, 2020 at 15:10 | comment | added | Frank Hopkins | @SSimon that's quite context dependent. Sure, you can make it sound like "when do you leave us in peace and go back home to the place you crawled out from?" but equally it can be a matter of nice empathy or personal interest, i.e. given the corona crisis and more remote work many people studying abroad use the time to do a home "vacation" as it doesn't make much of a difference. But the same question can be innocent curiosity either (going home over any vacations) because OP dropped anything they considered a hint that OP might. Or it might be sarcastic because OP is safely funded until 2021 | |
| May 16, 2020 at 14:41 | comment | added | Mayou36 | @SSimon Germans, living/working in other countries, are also foreigners. So asking a German when he is going back from where he came from, to Germany, is exactly that. In which sense are Germans different to other Nationalities? Titus surely did not ask a German in Germany when they will go back to Germany; that really would not make sense. | |
| May 16, 2020 at 13:28 | comment | added | SSimon | @titus yes you can ask when you are going back to Germany. But asking foreigners when they are going back from where they came from is big NO | |
| May 16, 2020 at 12:13 | comment | added | Mahta Mira | @CaptainEmacs once in a presentation he got exited at me and told instead of using technology and different software to analyse your data, learn how to present and structure your results. He then told you would not get any credit until you learn how to structure your data. From my joining to this lab, I have been in 3 of his papers as a bioinformatician. I am under a fixed term contact as the other members are but yesterday he mentioned their long term employment by saying their name one by one, about me just said that are you going back to your country? | |
| May 16, 2020 at 11:56 | comment | added | Captain Emacs | @MahtaMira Do you have evidence (beyond trying to read body language or loose-tongued statements) that he is dissatisfied with your work? If this is the case, is this something you can improve by either working differently or moving to some other group? If there is limited funding it is clear that some people won't get it. It does not necessarily make a statement concerning your general performance. Do you publish? Do you have grants? | |
| May 16, 2020 at 11:54 | comment | added | user69377 | Maybe he has been already discussing with the other people about the future plans for a long time and he has decided to start some projects with them. It doesn't necessarily mean that he is ignoring you intentionally. If you would like to be included in a grant, it would be better to ask him directly, explaining what value you could bring to those projects. If you never express yourself openly, you would always feel left out and "different". | |
| May 16, 2020 at 11:26 | comment | added | Mahta Mira | Sorry @Titus the problem is not the question he ask when I am going back to my country. I got hurt when he mentioned the name of two other postdocs ignoring me as his postdoc showing he does not have money for keeping me employed. But generally, every moment I can read from his face that I am an unwanted member. I wish you all could see our lab meeting and how he eagerly listens when another lab members speak. I realise that he is indirectly saying you don't have any place with us but his conservative manner hides everything until yesterday when he directly uttered what was in his mind. | |
| May 16, 2020 at 11:10 | comment | added | user117109 | I have asked many Germans (students and non-students) if/when they are going back to Germany, permanently or for a short period, and nobody considered it extremely vulgar. I fail to see the problem with e.g. "What are your future plans, are you going back to X?" | |
| May 16, 2020 at 9:59 | comment | added | Džuris | @SSimon it was "if" not "when" and that's a reasonable thing to ask. | |
| May 16, 2020 at 8:06 | comment | added | Mahta Mira | Dears all, I did not feel any bullying from his statement yesterday at all. Basically, he is a cool and charismatic professor. When I joined the lab as a data analyst he was very caring and welcoming but by the time I have shown I am not what he expects. Two current postdoc are really deserved to be cherished. Now, my concern is that everyday feedbacks from his body language and ignorance is a killing pain for me. All of last night I have been a numb body by remembering why I could not be good enough to be evaluated. I know life is not fair but accepting the reality is hard at the moment. | |
| May 16, 2020 at 5:30 | comment | added | Captain Emacs | @SSimon I feel that there is some background that we are not told, because the whole situation is almost the caricature of a bullying situation as you would see in a movie. Without knowing more about what is going on here, how it came to the situation, etc., I am careful to make a judgement - it might be possible that OP undergoes some cultural misunderstanding that may have a less malign interpretation. I do know of cases like that, so I'd rather not advise under the assumption of a fully antagonistic situation. Check other responses of mine, I have no tolerance for established bullying. | |
| May 16, 2020 at 4:28 | comment | added | SSimon | No idea where this is coming from. Asking when you are going home is considered extremely vulgar. At least in Germany | |
| May 16, 2020 at 1:45 | history | answered | Captain Emacs | CC BY-SA 4.0 |