I am a female graduate student in a competitive phd program. I recently had a baby. Although this is a planned pregnancy, and I thought I have thought through the complications having a baby would bring, I am still very overwhelmed by how much different my life is now.

I don't have any time besides taking care of a newborn, and I am very sleep-deprived. Baby's dad works full-time to support the family. Even though it brings me a lot of joy, I just can't help but wonder whether I would ever have time for my research again. I initially plan to go back to school in September, while baby is about 3 months old. But I am not sure whether I would be able to do anything next semester. Or even the semester after next. I initially plan to graduate next fall, but now I feel that might be a stretch. The application starts next semester, and I should be going around giving talks and preparing for my applications. But that feels impossible now.

And there is the financial stress. I want to put my child in daycare at some point (like around 7,8 months), so I can have some time to do work. But it's very expensive, and I don't know if we can afford this with our current income. Sometimes I thought about finding an industry job after graduate school, so things would be easier. But I don't want to give up research.

I wonder what the experience of other people are like. I know it might depend on the person, everyone is different. But I want to hear your experience, and hope you can share some wisdom. How do you handle the life with an infant? How much does it affect your phd? Do you still choose to stay in academia?

Thanks!