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2 of 6 corrected spelling

Your situation resonates with me. For the past 6 years, I exhausted my energy to get a PhD. Although I got a postdoc position after graduation, I pondered for several weeks and realized this was not the life I wanted. So I say sorry to that offer and now making a career change, away from academia.

Previous posts have given some suggestions: leave academia, transfer school, change for another boss, work more effectively with the boss, etc. The critical thinking here is, these are all possible solutions, but you have to ask yourself: what's your passion and your life goal? Be specific as possible. If you think hard to set a clear goal and how to measure that success, you already half answer your question.

Do you really enjoy your research? If not, why not change that?

Now let's come to realistic bottleneck, the money. This may be the only question that this post is about. I am also an international student. I understand how money is important for a student coming from a developing country, and this is also why so many poor students have to tolerate an abusive professor. But I have to say, you have overpaid your price to get a PhD. It's not worth that.

Many people don't know the difference between a tough boss and an abusive boss, see this. Be aware of that the abusive person is eating your energy. Try your best to stay away from that. You may play communication tricks to ease the tension. But you are always vulnerable and psychological unsafe. It's definitely not a productive environment. If your goal is not clear, he will always try to push your bottom line, because the cost is on you, not him. It is a sum-zero game. Remember, a good relationship is a shared journey. Effort from one side is not enough.

So money, as well as visa restriction, are actually where the abusive power come from. This explains why American students have a much higher drop-off rate at school. That's no reason to suffer the abuse. School is a place where you are supposed to gain energy, not lose. You exchange your time and money for potentially more valuable skills and knowledge. But it is not worth to damage your mental health.

Now we pin down the problem. It's time to invest your courage to make a change. Don't be afraid to abandon the PhD degree. You can imagine even if you continue your academic career for the next 10 years, you are still live under your professor's shallow. So forget the PhD thing.

As long as you enroll in school, you can keep your F1 status. Now, money. I know it's quite embarrassing to ask your parents for the money to get rid of your difficulty. My specific solution is doing it in the American way! Get a tuition loan. 0% APR credit cards are all sources of your loan.

Say goodbye to the 1980s paper. Enroll the hottest classes. "hottest" usually means the job market is hot. Find a way to leverage your current skills. Get a master degree instead. Get a good-paid job and pay off your debt. If you earn enough and can have more choices, that's the time you may reconsider your PhD dream.

The world is changing at an accelerated pace. You should periodically reevaluate your situation and adjust your goal. So you don't lose the big picture. Work hard and good luck!