Questions tagged [interpersonal-issues]

Questions concerning relationships and dealing with problems between people.

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9
votes
2answers
1k views

Department not giving me TAships after a dispute with professor, what should I do?

I got in a dispute with a professor I TA'd for, and now my department is not giving me TAships. What should I do? I am required to teach more classes in my department in order to satisfy a ...
9
votes
2answers
521 views

How should you approach your adviser and tell him that he has a communication problem

(Not his actual hand writing) I am currently working under an academic research adviser who is a very nice person and very knowledgeable but I think he has problem in communicating with others (...
9
votes
4answers
614 views

Are academics more tolerant of biological and philosophical differences?

My internal model of academia is that (1) as a group we are one of the most tolerant of biological and philosophical differences (e.g., gender, sexual orientation, and religion) and (2) that we are ...
9
votes
1answer
457 views

Dealing with a friend who always leans on me

I study Mathematics and Computer Science. I have a classmate who excessively depends on me when it comes to coursework . He wants me to explain definitions, proofs, share code, check his proofs and ...
9
votes
1answer
1k views

How to confront new office mate regarding personal hygiene? [closed]

I am a senior graduate student and share an office with 3 other post-docs and graduate students. We recently had a first year graduate student join our lab for a rotation and he has been placed in ...
8
votes
5answers
3k views

Could I submit an abstract for a conference prior asking my supervisor permission about it?

I would like to submit an abstract for a poster presentation, I'm just worried that if I tell my supervisor before submitting, she might say I shouldn't do it, because she rarely wants me to be away ...
8
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3answers
2k views

Supervisor announced he's going to present my work without asking permission, how can I get credited without damaging my career?

Short: My master thesis supervisor want to present my findings at a conference. He did not ask me for permission, just informed me he will do so, how should I react? Long: My supervisor early on said ...
8
votes
4answers
1k views

How to tactfully request removal of my name from co-authorship?

I wrote a mathematics manuscript (see Extremely mild punishments for academic misconduct), and sent it to a professor, who then attempted to have it published after adding coauthors to the paper. His ...
8
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3answers
1k views

How can I make sure I'll get credit for my work when working with unwanted and untrusted collaborator?

I am taking a course with a major final project. I was looking for a topic when my co-advisor noticed this. He suggested that I do a project related to my master thesis, and I agreed since I didn't ...
8
votes
2answers
760 views

Faculty criticizing students in front of other students

As a graduate student, I often discuss the performance and abilities of undergraduates in very frank terms with fellow graduate students. However, I would never do so in front of other undergraduates. ...
8
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2answers
1k views

Should I tell a senior collaborator how disappointed I am?

I was part of a small group preparing an overview paper for a special issue, and we missed a final deadline. All except one of us completed our assigned tasks; the last person had not touched her ...
8
votes
2answers
329 views

What can I do to prevent ethnic conflicts in research groups?

Many research groups are international. While I hope that academics are in general open-minded and tolerant, there might still be a potential for conflicts when researchers from different ethnic ...
8
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2answers
1k views

What can a PI do about a low-performing postdoc?

This is a hypothetical question inspired by a flip side of the situation described here. Consider a PI on tenure-track position, facing tenure / promotion panel in a few years. The PI has just got ...
8
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2answers
377 views

Professor got me involved into working with him, but the experience was poor. How can I avoid him without facing negative consequences?

I am an undergraduate, #1 in my year in terms of GPA, and one of my professors asked me if I was interested to help him with a research competition. The goal was to publish a paper and hopefully win a ...
8
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2answers
1k views

Recommendation letter from a supervisor after falling out

In the event of a falling out with a supervisor (Master's thesis or PhD) is there generally anything one can do about it if one wants to apply to a (different) PhD program, for which one would need a ...
8
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1answer
288 views

PhD thesis submission

I am a sixth year female PhD student in the CS department of a renowned US university. I have had a very difficult time with my adviser for the past two years due to personal and research conflicts. ...
8
votes
1answer
346 views

How to negotiate with collaborators on adjusting procedures to interdisciplinary projects?

This is an issue I frequently face. As a biologist I like doing interdisciplinary science. In fact I believe interdisciplinarity is the key to producing any truly insightful observation, at least in ...
7
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4answers
2k views

Primary Investigator gets really nervous around me?

My new Primary Investigator, who is well respected in her field, gets really nervous when talking to me for some reason. We are the same gender and both married so it's not a problem of that sort... ...
7
votes
3answers
756 views

A potential collaborator and PhD student took a commanding tone with me (faculty) – how should I react?

Background about me I am an early-to-mid-career teaching-track faculty (four years of cross-curricular teaching experience in engineering) in the USA. I teach courses both at the undergraduate and ...
7
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2answers
687 views

Discussion turned into argument with the conference keynote speaker, would it be appropriate to email an apology? [closed]

I had a chance to visit as an audience to an international conference in computer science. As usual, there were few keynotes before the scheduled paper presentation is carried out for the day. During ...
7
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3answers
2k views

How harmful is it for a PhD student to work with a supervisor whose ambition is greater or lesser than that of the student?

How harmful is it for a PhD student to work with a supervisor whose ambition is greater or lesser than that of the student? I can imagine that if the supervisor aims much higher than the PhD student ...
7
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4answers
2k views

My advisor escalated things after not getting a coauthorship he did not deserve

I am a 3rd year PhD Student (Computer Science, India). I have two advisors, one internal and one external. The internal advisor has no knowledge of my area and he doesn’t care what I am doing. He has ...
7
votes
2answers
1k views

International postdoc struggling with PI demands. Should I quit?

I am an international PhD graduate who joined a postdoc in a private univ in the U.S. four months ago. After careful research and studying the group profiles, I joined a group (less than 2 years old) ...
7
votes
1answer
754 views

How to deal with bad smelling (smoking) co-student

For a graduate project I need to work together with a fellow student who smokes a lot (every time we take a break); the smell is really strong and actually distracts from the work at times. Some days ...
7
votes
3answers
227 views

Negotiating boundaries with a conflict avoidant advisor

My PhD advisor is someone who values workplace/personal life boundaries. Sometimes I feel that he gets mad at me for accidentally crossing those boundaries in small ways. The problem is that he doesn'...
7
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3answers
182 views

What are best practices for reviewing peer research lab colleagues' work for a supervisor?

Since over a year, I've been involved in almost everything my supervisor does and seem to have gained her trust, which is very gratifying. There have been instances where I was asked to review and ...
7
votes
1answer
319 views

Got denied authorship on paper; neither university nor publisher feel responsible

I helped another graduate student with her work. We were testing how long certain drugs lasted in mouse organs. We dosed three drugs and sent them to some collaborators for analysis. Time passes. My ...
7
votes
2answers
356 views

How to protect your authorship when trapped in “collaboration”?

Some time ago, my advisor has put me working together with some group colleagues on a very loosely defined theoretical physics project. From the beginning, I didn't like this too much because I felt ...
6
votes
3answers
5k views

Trust issues with my PhD advisor, is it worth fixing or can I get out?

I am a math PhD student considering changing universities. I have suspicions that my supervisor has not been very honest with me since I told him that I considered changing universities (and therefore ...
6
votes
3answers
2k views

Dealing with intern supervisor who underestimates my abilities

I am an undergraduate student who got into a voluntary internship for a year in my department. Without going into much detail, I'm a trainee in the lab where programming lessons are held with lots of ...
6
votes
3answers
7k views

Can a professor shout at a student? [closed]

Is there any possible penalty (from the educational institution) for the professor for disrespecting a student? What can and cannot do a professor in terms of respect to a student?
6
votes
6answers
2k views

My advisor wants to co-author a paper on my thesis work, but drags out the submission, claiming it isn't ready. Should I submit without him?

I have just finished my PhD thesis defense in applied mathematics. My supervisor suggested me the initial problem. He was not an expert in the small area that I was working, and thus the assistance ...
6
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3answers
3k views

How to manage your advisor's jealousy over your work?

Say you made a smart move in solving an important question that your advisor did not think of and all of a suddenly your advisor becomes jealous because you have made your advisor look bad. What are ...
6
votes
3answers
1k views

In-class, allowing students to address professor informally ('tutoyer' / 'tutear')

Supposing that Dr. A is teaching an undergraduate-level course, what would be the pros and cons for Dr. A to allow students to address himself in an "informal" manner? By "informal" here I mean ...
6
votes
2answers
1k views

I got mad at my advisor?

Without going into the details, I got a little irritated and frustrated with my advisor today. I've been feeling myself slowly losing respect for her as a manager, but have remained professional and ...
6
votes
1answer
437 views

How do I tell my advisor that I lost interest in the subject?

I got my MSc in physics working on a certain subject with my advisor. I'm now starting my PhD studies under the same advisor. The problem is, there's a tacit assumption that I'll do my PhD on the ...
6
votes
2answers
547 views

How to (gently) pressure a collaborator?

During my PhD I had an awesome collaborator that taught me a lot in an area that my main advisor had no experience at all. I have a paper draft with him that's getting more than 3 years to get ...
6
votes
2answers
286 views

Physician assistant school rescinded my acceptance [closed]

I'm in a complicated situation. I was accepted to physician assistant school and was told I'm one of the most qualified candidates. I'm also a mother of 2 children (under age 3) and living with their ...
6
votes
2answers
180 views

Going from co-advisors to just one advisor

I'm 2.5 years in to a 4 year PhD with possibility of a 5th year of funding. I started with one advisor, but research interests started shifting, so we brought on a co-advisor. My research interests ...
5
votes
3answers
11k views

What are some way to give praise to a professor without resorting to flattery?

In elementary school we are taught to give an apple to your teacher as a sign of appreciation. Obviously it doesn't work anymore in academia. I wish to maintain a relationship with a professor after ...
5
votes
1answer
419 views

Supervisor doesn't give me a chance to contribute more and gives himself first authorship, how to approach this?

My supervisor proposed a test, just a concept and I designed the experiment and executed the lab work all by myself. After the experiment was done and I presented the data (in nice figures and ...
5
votes
1answer
538 views

Why is it that when I tell people outside my university that I'm a PhD student, I am sometimes told that I'm arrogant/privileged/ignorant? [closed]

This did not occur before I started my PhD. It does not occur when I simply say I’m a graduate student. I only say this when people ask what I do as a living (I do not namedrop this). This tends to ...
5
votes
1answer
1k views

How to survive the remaining 5 months of my postdoc in toxic environment?

I am international postdoc and 7 months into my 1 year postdoc. My PI is very young and the lab is relatively new. I chose this lab because after the interview I was convinced that the PI and I had ...
5
votes
2answers
767 views

Dealing with suspects of sabotaging experiments

In a group, postdoc A believes postdoc B sabotaged her experiments. A shares her frustration with the PI (without proof) in a "half-jokingly, half-serious" sense. Since then, strange things appear to ...
5
votes
2answers
437 views

What to do when one my co-authors is openly insulting me but the others remain silent?

I previously asked this question Senior co-author is jeopardizing two years of work. I have been trying to address my senior co-author's concerns. However, he is still not happy, and has now started ...
5
votes
1answer
787 views

My supervisor does not want to publish my research

I just graduated from grad school and to say that it has been hell is just a euphemism. My supervisor has been a bully all the time and every thing that I did and didn't please my supervisor was met ...
5
votes
1answer
196 views

Etiquette when continuing work on a research direction without involving former collaborators

I have collaborated on a certain topic with researchers A, B and C, where A is my PhD supervisor (I'm now a post-doc), and B and C are senior colleagues from different universities. The collaboration ...
5
votes
1answer
493 views

Main author might want to exclude me from the list of authors

About a year ago, a foreign researcher invited me to co-author a review paper with him. He had already a 50 page long draft that needed editing and improving. After I was done with it (literature ...
5
votes
2answers
539 views

Addressing a poor student-advisor relationship in job interview

I have a couple of interviews for research assistant vacancies in the next few days, but I didn't list the advisors of my undergraduate research project as my references, even though I added the ...
5
votes
1answer
352 views

Disgruntled with my supervisor - be truthful about this in my semi-annual PhD report?

I am just done with 2 years of my Ph.D. study. I have some issues with my supervisor. He is repressive, forces his vision on me, e,g, he wants publications in one particular area (and loads of them) ...