Questions tagged [interpersonal-issues]

Questions concerning relationships and dealing with problems between people.

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38
votes
2answers
1k views

How do I politely and tactfully tell my advisor that I would like more consistency in meetings?

I am a PhD student. My advisor is great, but like all academics is very busy (administrative duties, other students, research...). What happens almost every time I try to have a meeting, since the ...
37
votes
3answers
4k views

Should I not hire someone who does not get along with me?

When I was doing my postdoc, there was a PhD student who shared the same office with me; he didn't get along very well with me or anyone in the office. He could be described as unfriendly and a little ...
37
votes
10answers
10k views

Is passion a must-have for a Master's student?

When I was accepted to become a Master's student, I had virtually no experience in the topics that my supervisor wanted to work in. Lately I've been catching up on background knowledge (I've been in ...
35
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12answers
8k views

My undergraduate research advisor pressures me to work more hours than I want to, but I don't want to risk ruining the relationship. How to proceed?

I am burned out and exhausted and need a place to rant and get advice. =( I am an undergraduate student majoring in Information Systems who was hired a few months ago to work in a Human-Computer ...
35
votes
7answers
7k views

1.5 years later, how to make sure unprofessional behaviour by former mentor has consequences?

I was a post doc at a large US university for a year and after took another postdoc position in my home country. My mentor was a tenure track assistant professor. It pretty soon became clear that ...
35
votes
5answers
4k views

Improving work conditions of student assistants, PhDs, Postdocs etc

I have been following threads on this website for a few months now. However it's my first time posting. I am a postdoctoral researcher from a Western European country who has done reasonably well ...
34
votes
9answers
12k views

My adviser wants to be the first author

I am working on a paper after finishing my Masters. I did all the lab research and writing of the manuscript. My professor was only involved to guide me throughout the research and read my writing and ...
33
votes
6answers
8k views

Shall I go and see my advisor's father who is on his death bed?

In my country from East Asia, it is extremely impolite if I don't do it when I have this information. However, US and EU are known to be more "professional" in my humble opinion. So in US, is asking ...
33
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5answers
6k views

What to do if an audience member refuses to let you answer their question?

I was reading this question about famous people asking rude questions in talks, and it reminded me of a situation which happened at the end of my academic career. I would really like some advice on ...
33
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5answers
4k views

How to deal with non-cooperative team mate?

I just started a research position coming from the industry. I am supposed to work on an ongoing project and branch it out to a new direction. There is one member of the research group that did quite ...
32
votes
5answers
8k views

How to deal with constant pressure given by advisor

I am a third-year PhD student in mathematics from a very reputed institute in my country. I have one problem to share and discuss that is related with my guide. He is a senior professor in our ...
32
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5answers
5k views

How do I get over these (possibly sexist) feelings regarding an underqualified labmate? [closed]

Well, this is kind of embarrassing for me and I am judging myself as well. I have just started my PhD. And there is another woman who has started in the same lab as me. Over the first week, I found ...
31
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3answers
4k views

When is it appropriate for a PhD student to discuss personal problems affecting his productivity with his advisor?

I had a very difficult personal problem. My head was not in the right place, and outside of getting through my administrative duties, my brain just couldn't function the right way to run wet lab ...
30
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3answers
7k views

How common are romantic relationships between faculty and students?

Romantic relationships between faculty members and students are often depicted in movies or books, and the student falling in love with his/her professor seems to be a bit of a cliché. But how common ...
29
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2answers
7k views

Etiquette for a female PhD student to reject her male supervisor's invitation to meet outside of work

The role of supervisor is a key role. The relationship between the supervisor and the students should be healthy. In this context, in India, there is a lot of difference between male and female ...
29
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1answer
1k views

What can I do if I wrote a grant proposal with a professor, and now that it is funded he refuses to hire me?

I discussed my ideas with a professor at a university here in China, where I live. He said that I should write a grant proposal and he will submit it, and if he gets a grant he will hire me (as a ...
28
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4answers
7k views

Professor refuses letter of recommendation request

The application for TA fellowship, one normally takes recommedations from previous professors one has TAed under. What he replied when I messaged him asking for a letter of recommendation: If you ...
28
votes
4answers
6k views

Postdoc application: professor verbally committed to hire me, but now says that regulations have changed and keeps delaying the process

I applied for a post doctoral position a few months ago. The initial response from the professor in charge was warm and enthusiastic and he even made a verbal commitment to hire me. But then he just ...
28
votes
3answers
7k views

High school student scooped by PhD student in the same lab

When I was in high school, I spent one of my summers working in a lab. The professor had a small lab, so I was given my own project, and made enough progress on it to publish a paper. While I was ...
27
votes
7answers
13k views

My supervisor is making me work on something that is not my PhD project. What should I do?

My PhD project is a very little part of a big study that my supervisor is currently running. I am already four months into my PhD and I just have a 3 years position to finish my thesis. So far I haven’...
27
votes
10answers
11k views

Being Ostracized in Research Group

I currently am a sophomore in a US college. I have been accepted into a semester-long undergraduate research group. Officially, we have a faculty advisor as well as graduate student mentors. In ...
27
votes
4answers
7k views

Advisor walked in while I was complaining about her; How can I minimize the damage to our relationship?

I work in a lab. This evening, thinking that my advisor had already left for the day, I started telling my peers in the lab that she has a bad attitude about a few things, and she was showing off a ...
26
votes
3answers
11k views

Professor refusing to write recommendation letter to make student work longer

My friend is on his way to graduate with PharmD (outside US). He wants to apply for PhD program in US, and have asked his professors that he has worked with in the lab for recommendation letters. ...
26
votes
2answers
6k views

Can my degree be revoked if my relationship with my advisor sours post-defense?

I defended my thesis last year and was granted MS degree. After that my advisor pressurized me to work more with him and write papers. I refused after some time and my relationship with him became ...
26
votes
4answers
4k views

How to respond to the teacher who puts the feet up while talking to student?

A friend of mine who is from Japan told me that his professor in USA puts the feet up while talking to him. He was saying that he felt very bad with that. Is this acceptable culture in USA academia?
26
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4answers
3k views

My co-authors want to remove my name from manuscript because I am “not in science anymore,” how to correct this?

Two years back, was working as an research associate then have to leave the lab due to some family issues. My work was significant enough to be included in the manuscript and I was told that my ...
25
votes
4answers
7k views

As a student, how can I negotiate comfortable and appropriate sleeping arrangements with a stranger for a conference?

I'm an undergraduate student that was offered a role researching for a grant. I was able to get authorship status on a paper and will be attending a conference for it later this year. The professor I ...
25
votes
10answers
5k views

How to cope with lab noise?

I have searched a lot and I am surprised that this topic hasn't been discussed yet. I am an M.Sc. Student in Computer Science. Our lab is actually a dry lab in which we need to do a lot of reading of ...
24
votes
5answers
3k views

How to tell supervisor too many lengthy meetings are hurting your productivity?

My supervisor wants us to meet 3-5 times in a week with another PhD student of his. Every meeting is on average more than couple of hours. I don't know about the other student. But I feel like we are ...
24
votes
6answers
4k views

Advisor pushing for dead end topics

I am new to this forum. I am encountering a problem in my doctoral studies that I haven't been able to find in an existing thread so I wanted to ask here. Any advice on how to navigate this would be ...
24
votes
4answers
32k views

What do you do when your best friend cheats and has become top 10 in class of 250? [closed]

My very best friend cheats, not just looking over her shoulder for two answers, I mean full out cheats - raising each grade from what would be a D to an A. I feel very guilty for doing something wrong,...
23
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5answers
6k views

My advisor talks about me to his colleagues in their native language [closed]

I am in a country where English is not the native language. I have some proficiency in that language but none of the team members know this since I have always communicated with them in English. ...
22
votes
8answers
7k views

How should I deal with my groupmate's unprofessional behavior as a TA?

I have a colleague in my group who became TA for a course which we took together, which is taught by our mutual advisor. It is almost a policy that a student can't become TA unless he scores an A in ...
22
votes
3answers
4k views

How to quit/put on hold a PhD program due to personality clash with advisor?

I've been trying to cope with a very abusive and mentally unstable advisor. In a recent clash she has been spewing lies and threats. It has become clearer and clearer that despite the four years of ...
22
votes
9answers
5k views

I can't trust my supervisor anymore, but have to have his letter of recommendation. What should I do?

Background I did my masters research project with Prof X. While doing this I joined his lab, where he used to ask me to do random tasks i.e. taking part in different projects, conducting lectures to ...
21
votes
5answers
7k views

What do I do if my supervisor insists that the classical CLT is false and wants me to write that in my paper?

We are in a physics department. My supervisor, upon reading a Physical Review Letters (PRL) paper, concludes (and claims that the paper also concludes) that the classical central limit theorem (CLT) ...
21
votes
2answers
2k views

Co-author conflict after paper got accepted

I am a PhD student. My paper got accepted with minor changes and then re-submitted again and accepted by the journal. In the meantime, I had conflicts with my supervisor who is a co-author of my ...
20
votes
4answers
7k views

Two researchers want to work on the same extension to my paper. Who to help?

I recently presented a paper in a top-tier conference in a computer engineering field. I did that work as a research assistant under a Professor but now I am working in the industry. Two different ...
20
votes
4answers
3k views

What should I do if a professor says she doesn't understand my questions in office hours?

I am having difficulties in math, and every time I try to go to my math professor's office hours she always seems annoyed. When I ask her a question she always says something to the effect "I don't ...
20
votes
4answers
3k views

How do I express my disapproval of a marking boycott without damaging relationship with academics?

So as people have probably seen by now, the UK is stuck in a marking boycott, which has started to directly affect myself as a final year student. I have not personally been affected too much yet, ...
19
votes
6answers
4k views

Teaching a student (as a TA) when there is flirting, etc. and mutual interest

I am a graduate student with an assistantship. I met an undergraduate and we hit it off (talking about sex, but not sex with each other). But now I assist a class with her (and I'm not good at hiding ...
19
votes
2answers
2k views

How to handle pressure from collaborators when life circumstances make it impossible to get work done?

I am looking for a bit of advice on how to handle the workload in a PhD while juggling several collaborative projects plus family pressures. I am in the final year of my PhD which, overall, has been ...
18
votes
4answers
3k views

How can I help my advisor not lose face when changing from a thesis to non-thesis program?

I am a comajor masters student who is experiencing difficulties in timely responses from my advisor. It has taken an average of almost 4 months for me to get feedback each time I have received ...
18
votes
5answers
2k views

Should I resign if my research advisor verbally abuses me?

Summary: Supervisor is verbally abusive on a regular basis. He may be trying to sabotage me by delaying the annual report on which my funding depends. Should I quit or stick it out? Details: I ...
18
votes
3answers
2k views

How to deal with a procrastinating (student) collaborator?

I am just beginning a research project with a fellow student. She is always 10-20 minutes late to scheduled meetings and has a very hard time making any sort of deadline. She freely admits that she is ...
18
votes
2answers
3k views

May I reuse my own figure without coauthor's permission?

I'm writing an editorial and would like to use a figure that I published with a coauthor a few years ago. The copyright agreement (see #4) with the publisher allows the authors of the paper to reuse ...
17
votes
7answers
7k views

Not including student who contributed very little as coauthor of paper

I am a researcher in condensed-matter physics, and I recently started a research project with another professor, for which I hired a student for a six-month undergraduate internship. The student was ...
16
votes
7answers
9k views

How to deal with sources whose authors I don't have good relationship with?

I used to have a good relationship with an author, but now it's broken. However, my work is heavily based on the work of that author, and I'm not sure if citing it without informing them is OK here. ...
16
votes
3answers
1k views

If a reference/book authored by your professor contains typos, how should you react?

My professor gave me a module on history that contains several spelling and grammatical errors. Should I tell him about this or just ignore these mistakes?
16
votes
5answers
2k views

Due to my depression, the department wants to kick me out of the graduate program. How to stay in this environment?

This is the third installment of the series: What can I do if my advisor wants me to keep working, even while I'm on medical leave for severe depression? So, many months were gone and I'm still ...