Questions tagged [interpersonal-issues]

Questions concerning relationships and dealing with problems between people.

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2
votes
2answers
376 views

Is asking an editor for soft copy of his book acceptable?

A colleague of mine has recently edited a book whose subject I find very interesting (I know several of the authors personally as well). Unfortunately, like most things published in academia, the ...
48
votes
9answers
43k views

As a male student, did I say something wrong to this female professor?

A professor and I spoke recently (I'm a grad student), and she told me about her upcoming sabbatical, and I wished her well and was genuinely excited for her and her travel plans. But the reaction ...
5
votes
1answer
196 views

Etiquette when continuing work on a research direction without involving former collaborators

I have collaborated on a certain topic with researchers A, B and C, where A is my PhD supervisor (I'm now a post-doc), and B and C are senior colleagues from different universities. The collaboration ...
0
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2answers
564 views

How to handle research advisor meeting stress

I'm starting my master's thesis work with a new professor and had a really bad meeting with them recently. They asked me questions I am supposed to be able to answer, but I was so stressed I couldn't ...
102
votes
7answers
30k views

Students bringing babies to class

I'm a student; recently, in one of my classes, a fellow student brought their baby in a stroller. She may have asked the professor beforehand for permission to do this. The baby cried, made loud ...
4
votes
1answer
784 views

How to stop weird labmate from staring at me doing experiments without damaging work relationship (too much)?

A few months ago my lab had a new member. Shortly after he joined I started hearing from students in other labs that he was being very weird, hinting that they were somewhat bothered. For instance he ...
16
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5answers
2k views

Due to my depression, the department wants to kick me out of the graduate program. How to stay in this environment?

This is the third installment of the series: What can I do if my advisor wants me to keep working, even while I'm on medical leave for severe depression? So, many months were gone and I'm still ...
2
votes
1answer
126 views

Is it okay to file administrative complaints about problems with the facilities and services in an academic settings? [closed]

Background Information: I am a doctoral student at a premier institute which is also a hospital. Most of the administrative positions are handled by professors who are also clinicians and researchers....
7
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3answers
182 views

What are best practices for reviewing peer research lab colleagues' work for a supervisor?

Since over a year, I've been involved in almost everything my supervisor does and seem to have gained her trust, which is very gratifying. There have been instances where I was asked to review and ...
128
votes
10answers
31k views

Should a young professor avoid using dating apps?

I am a recent PhD graduate in mathematics, and I will be starting a tenure-track position this fall at a small liberal arts college in a northern US city. My graduate degree was completed at a large ...
7
votes
2answers
1k views

International postdoc struggling with PI demands. Should I quit?

I am an international PhD graduate who joined a postdoc in a private univ in the U.S. four months ago. After careful research and studying the group profiles, I joined a group (less than 2 years old) ...
3
votes
2answers
343 views

How to get out of a data use agreement?

My project is based on data hosted by a different university than the one where I used to work. When I requested the data, I understood that the work (and cost) to extract it from the database ...
-7
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2answers
1k views

If I start a blog to spread my ideas in academia could it be successful? [closed]

I consider myself a scientist and researcher into a very interesting topic-the most fundamental questions of Life and the very foundations of biology. I'm using the phrase I consider myself because in ...
12
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4answers
2k views

How to cut ties with abusive supervisor?

While I read through a similar post written by K.Grayson, I couldn't find a response that overlaps with my case. In all honesty, I don't know in what way to explain how the situation with my M.Sc. ...
18
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5answers
2k views

Should I resign if my research advisor verbally abuses me?

Summary: Supervisor is verbally abusive on a regular basis. He may be trying to sabotage me by delaying the annual report on which my funding depends. Should I quit or stick it out? Details: I ...
4
votes
1answer
556 views

How to tell advisor I'm declining a scholarship?

I recently won a scholarship that could (in theory) pay for the remainder of my time in graduate school. However, it comes attached with strings that I'm not comfortable with, and so I've decided to ...
5
votes
1answer
352 views

Disgruntled with my supervisor - be truthful about this in my semi-annual PhD report?

I am just done with 2 years of my Ph.D. study. I have some issues with my supervisor. He is repressive, forces his vision on me, e,g, he wants publications in one particular area (and loads of them) ...
6
votes
2answers
538 views

How to (gently) pressure a collaborator?

During my PhD I had an awesome collaborator that taught me a lot in an area that my main advisor had no experience at all. I have a paper draft with him that's getting more than 3 years to get ...
15
votes
2answers
5k views

How to not fall in love with my co-author? [closed]

I am a post-doc (male) and I am working on a research project with another post-doc (female) from the same university. During our work, I got to know her and started developing emotions towards her. ...
2
votes
0answers
349 views

When is it beneficial (or politically correct?) to mention somebody's race/culture in an anecdote? [closed]

Today, I heard a friend mention an exciting conversation he had with somebody of a different race. He mentioned this woman's race several times in order to paint a more detailed picture of what his ...
8
votes
2answers
372 views

Professor got me involved into working with him, but the experience was poor. How can I avoid him without facing negative consequences?

I am an undergraduate, #1 in my year in terms of GPA, and one of my professors asked me if I was interested to help him with a research competition. The goal was to publish a paper and hopefully win a ...
5
votes
1answer
535 views

Why is it that when I tell people outside my university that I'm a PhD student, I am sometimes told that I'm arrogant/privileged/ignorant? [closed]

This did not occur before I started my PhD. It does not occur when I simply say I’m a graduate student. I only say this when people ask what I do as a living (I do not namedrop this). This tends to ...
8
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1answer
287 views

PhD thesis submission

I am a sixth year female PhD student in the CS department of a renowned US university. I have had a very difficult time with my adviser for the past two years due to personal and research conflicts. ...
28
votes
4answers
6k views

Postdoc application: professor verbally committed to hire me, but now says that regulations have changed and keeps delaying the process

I applied for a post doctoral position a few months ago. The initial response from the professor in charge was warm and enthusiastic and he even made a verbal commitment to hire me. But then he just ...
58
votes
5answers
18k views

How to handle a student who will not accept that he is wrong?

I am a university marker TA, and after midterm exam I met with a student who would not accept that he was wrong. He thought his answers were correct but didn't explain to me why his answers were ...
5
votes
1answer
481 views

Main author might want to exclude me from the list of authors

About a year ago, a foreign researcher invited me to co-author a review paper with him. He had already a 50 page long draft that needed editing and improving. After I was done with it (literature ...
10
votes
1answer
983 views

Being accepted then rejected to an academic conference

I submitted an abstract and received notification of acceptance to present at a conference. The notification of acceptance asked for a short bio. I provided the bio and was asked to provide more ...
5
votes
1answer
735 views

Remind professor of email a second time?

Disclaimer: I know there are some similar questions around. However, I don't feel like the answers there suit this situation completely. This is why I am asking. Some backstory (not necessarily ...
6
votes
3answers
1k views

In-class, allowing students to address professor informally ('tutoyer' / 'tutear')

Supposing that Dr. A is teaching an undergraduate-level course, what would be the pros and cons for Dr. A to allow students to address himself in an "informal" manner? By "informal" here I mean ...
5
votes
1answer
568 views

Supervisor insists on writing a manuscript, yet procrastinates on writing for years

So my supervisor insisted on writing a manuscript himself (because he wants to submit the paper to a better journal), but constantly procrastinated on the task for one and a half years despite ...
3
votes
1answer
420 views

How to restore trust in a toxic lab environment?

A friend of mine started working in a biology research lab where several research groups share space and lab equipment. Recently the environment has become quite toxic as the people started to ...
61
votes
4answers
6k views

How can I assist other graduate students who may feel increasingly “unwelcome” due to their countries of origin?

I work in a research group with a large number of international graduate students. Recent news in my country (the United States) has been deeply unsettling for some of these students, especially the ...
5
votes
2answers
760 views

Dealing with suspects of sabotaging experiments

In a group, postdoc A believes postdoc B sabotaged her experiments. A shares her frustration with the PI (without proof) in a "half-jokingly, half-serious" sense. Since then, strange things appear to ...
13
votes
3answers
2k views

How do I stay motivated in my PhD research when my advisor doesn't seem to like me very much?

My PhD advisor and I simply do not get along. I think it has a lot to do with the language and cultural barriers (we are in Germany). We had an argument this week that almost led to me quitting, but ...
15
votes
4answers
2k views

What can be done about an unintentionally disruptive classmate?

I have a classmate who frequently disrupts class by asking nonsensical or unrelated questions, or by making nonsensical or unrelated interjections to the professor. He is autistic, and all the ...
21
votes
5answers
7k views

What do I do if my supervisor insists that the classical CLT is false and wants me to write that in my paper?

We are in a physics department. My supervisor, upon reading a Physical Review Letters (PRL) paper, concludes (and claims that the paper also concludes) that the classical central limit theorem (CLT) ...
3
votes
2answers
594 views

How to work effectively with unengaging labmates as a graduate student?

This might seem like a small problem, but one I've been thinking about lately, and was hoping for some insights. I joined a new lab around a year ago, and while things have mostly been going great, my ...
7
votes
2answers
686 views

Discussion turned into argument with the conference keynote speaker, would it be appropriate to email an apology? [closed]

I had a chance to visit as an audience to an international conference in computer science. As usual, there were few keynotes before the scheduled paper presentation is carried out for the day. During ...
45
votes
15answers
21k views

How to professionally handle sexist remarks by a student?

Suppose that you noticed a student saying a sexist remark to you, and the student is completely unaware of it. In the spirit of fighting sexism, I feel that I should maybe say something. But on the ...
15
votes
1answer
1k views

Should a lecturer be friendly with students?

I have been thinking about this question for a while and did a few googling here and there; but, didn't get anything good. Probably, academia could help. I am early in my teaching career as a ...
0
votes
1answer
108 views

Who should I tell about switching a group-based course to pass/no credit?

First, some background: I'm currently involved in a course which is based around a major group project. However, the end of the semester is coming up, and I honestly can't see this project becoming ...
6
votes
2answers
1k views

I got mad at my advisor?

Without going into the details, I got a little irritated and frustrated with my advisor today. I've been feeling myself slowly losing respect for her as a manager, but have remained professional and ...
9
votes
5answers
579 views

How to score class participation, correcting for natural outspokenness?

When my students ask questions and participate in discussion, class is more thoughtful, more fun, and more effective. I encourage their participation by checking in with them regularly, and making ...
11
votes
2answers
6k views

How should one deal with fellow students constantly asking for notes?

I'm an undergraduate student in the Netherlands, and as the title states, I'm encountering an annoying situation. How should one deal with the situation of constantly being asked for the notes of a ...
13
votes
2answers
2k views

How can a student stop/report conversations with a professor that make her uncomfortable, while avoiding negative consequences for the student?

I have some concerns about the behavior of a professor whose class I am taking, Professor A. First, Professor A has been trying to involve me in his attempts to get another professor in the ...
12
votes
1answer
1k views

How to deal with an arrogant advisor

My advisor is a highly regarded scientist in his field. However, that also made him a very arrogant person. I have two things I desperately need help with: Research projects My advisor becomes more ...
15
votes
3answers
1k views

How do I help minimize interruptions during group meetings as a student?

The project I work on has numerous members -- several graduate students, a couple of postdocs, and my advisor. We meet every other week to discuss progress and update one another on our status. Almost ...
4
votes
2answers
989 views

Should an intern who wrote most of a paper and where the first author contributed little request to be first author?

Background: A little over a year ago, I wrote a paper for an internship (during high school) at a major university medical center. My contribution to the paper was basically everything except ...
14
votes
6answers
7k views

How can I fix a relationship with a professor that has recently cooled?

What would be a good way to overcome bad experiences with a professor in my department, who is not my main advisor, but from whom I would like to get advice regularly? During the first year of my PhD,...
7
votes
1answer
315 views

Got denied authorship on paper; neither university nor publisher feel responsible

I helped another graduate student with her work. We were testing how long certain drugs lasted in mouse organs. We dosed three drugs and sent them to some collaborators for analysis. Time passes. My ...