Questions tagged [interpersonal-issues]

Questions concerning relationships and dealing with problems between people.

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-4
votes
1answer
418 views

How to handle students' disrespectfulness?

Related with this problem: How to deal with unruly, unengaged students who complain about me? After the chairman spoke to me, I started talking to my students softly (more than needed). I tried many ...
11
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11answers
10k views

How to show special respect to a famous PhD advisor?

I am about to enter a 3-year PhD. Neither my bachelor’s nor my master’s were research-oriented nor very typical for my field, and I had to find a potential supervisor on my own. Due to my background, ...
3
votes
1answer
127 views

Accepted behaviour while working in international collaborations

How is getting-job-done outlook perceived in different parts of the academic world? In some parts of physics, I know a person who goes forward and suggests times and dates for meeting up for the ...
1
vote
1answer
169 views

How to handle one doctoral supervisor being unhappy over a doctoral student's preference for the other supervisor?

For my doctoral programme, I have 2 supervisors: 1 academic (i.e. a professor) and the other an industrial. Over the past few years I've found that my industrial supervisor isn't really able to ...
3
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0answers
237 views

Is it normal for labs to “shun” or ostracize master's degree students?

The title pretty much explains the question. Let me elaborate a bit more. I'm a MS student who just finished his second semester. The lab that I'm in is fairly large (around 30 people) and there are a ...
2
votes
2answers
368 views

My former post-doc host failed to credit my work in a paper - what to do?

I was employed as a post-doctoral fellow at some institute, and left it a couple of years ago. When I left, it was on ok terms with my host (= person who invited me and arranged for funding for my ...
-2
votes
2answers
400 views

What are the implications when a student takes a conflict to the chair?

Does writing to a Department Chair always have to result in a grievance and/or official investigation, or does the Chair ever help the parties work things out? I had originally posed this question ...
6
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2answers
1k views

What should I do if a group project member is not contributing anything but is also depressed?

I know these questions have been asked before but I would like some advice and perspectives on what I should do when mental health comes into the equation. The context is: an undergraduate class with ...
47
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13answers
9k views

Is it acceptable for a student to connect with a professor on LinkedIn?

Earlier in the semester, I was informed by both an advisor/academic counselor and a professor at my university that it is a good idea to connect with professors on LinkedIn if they have interests in ...
12
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2answers
2k views

Sharing with research team about being affected by a natural disaster

Is it professional enough to share personal worries with your research team and your supervisor where you are pursuing doctoral studies away from home and your hometown has been affected by a natural ...
6
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4answers
4k views

How Would You React If a Student Complained to the Dept. Chair About You but Later Apologized and Disclosed Mental Illness? [closed]

After experiencing a lot of stress during my last undergrad. semester (and an episode of depression caused by my favorite professor declining to be my grad. advisor due to retirement), I worried that ...
8
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1answer
473 views

How can I tactfully decline my supervisor's suggestion and set boundaries?

New here. So I just started my postdoc about a month ago (great time to start a postdoc during a pandemic I know). Learning the ropes and trying to kinda set my own path in the lab has been ...
1
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1answer
119 views

How to delay a potential advisor without burning bridge?

I am talking with a professor ("Smith") in my department about doing research under his advisement. He seems like a friendly, helpful person, and I think he has tenure. So maybe the pressure would ...
18
votes
7answers
8k views

A lecturer wants to grade me based on 'creativity' in a task, how do I succeed?

TLDR: In a course where students are required to do exercises, a programming project and write a report in small groups, the lecturer announced that grading will be based on 'creativity' and how funny ...
3
votes
1answer
134 views

Undergrad research supervisors want me to write conference paper I have no interest in

I have been doing undergrad research advised by a comp sci professor and a civil-engineering professor. I am a comp sci major. To perform this research, we needed to do a tricky modification to a ...
3
votes
1answer
205 views

I think my TA winked at me and have developed feelings. Should I ask her out after the semester ends? [duplicate]

TLDR: I have feelings for my TA, think she winked at me, and would like to ask her out after the end of the semester. So my eyes do this weird thing sometimes when I'm sleep-deprived or stressed ...
0
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1answer
127 views

How to manage the relations between supervisor and institution?

For a student, the eventual conflict resolution should be facing the supervisor. This already generates a first problem: how can a PhD student explicitly face uncomfortable situations that imply a ...
16
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4answers
5k views

What do supervisors have to gain from a success or failure of a PhD student?

I'm finishing a really messed up dissertation. Maybe decent in some sense, but all the PhD has been done without following any of the supposed methodology and criteria. Since I'm in a sort of arm ...
3
votes
3answers
351 views

How to gracefully walk away from coauthored paper

I am working on a coauthored paper which I would like to step away from. How can I do so very tactfully and gracefully? I want to step away because I don't quite agree with the direction the paper ...
3
votes
1answer
118 views

Should I ask for deferral before accepting a PhD offer or after accepting it?

I am currently in a PhD program, and have applied and received offers to start another (changing fields). Both are in the US, so I do not need to finish a master's or anything. The plan was that I ...
67
votes
8answers
19k views

How should I respond to a worrying email from an ex student?

I run a lab at an R1 university in the USA. Almost ten years ago I removed an undergraduate volunteer student from my laboratory group for harassing another student. Today I received a multi-page, ...
3
votes
1answer
294 views

How open should I be with my PhD supervisor about the problems in my personal life?

My marriage has been going through some problems in the last year which has affected my PhD. My supervisor has been very understanding and was keen for me not to interrupt and granted me a two month ...
3
votes
3answers
438 views

Is it appropriate for a lecturer to invite the course to dinner before grading?

This semester, I attended a seminar where the grade will be based on work turned in by attendees in about a month. The lecturer has set up a 'get-together' of all students in his home, where he will ...
14
votes
5answers
717 views

Identifying pleasant PhD supervisors

I want to pursue a PhD at an institution in Japan that I don't know first hand. As lab websites or personal webpages don't really reveal the personalities of professors, it isn't easy to know in ...
0
votes
1answer
155 views

How can I ask a professor for time-sensitive information when they are out for a family emergency?

I'm an undergraduate student, and at the start of the semester I was trying to organize something like undergraduate research (but more basic) with one of my professors. I have to fill out a form due ...
0
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1answer
251 views

Is it right for a supervisor to try to prevent his students from pursuing other research directions by simultaneously working with other professors?

I have faced a problem recently with my academic advisor and I seek some advice. I have been working with my advisor for one and a half year now. No publication resulted so far. One of the problems ...
8
votes
2answers
1k views

Should I tell a senior collaborator how disappointed I am?

I was part of a small group preparing an overview paper for a special issue, and we missed a final deadline. All except one of us completed our assigned tasks; the last person had not touched her ...
1
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1answer
193 views

How important is being in a good institute for a theoretical physicist? [closed]

Will being in a underfunded institute and with mediocre colleagues hinder the performance of a theoretical physicist to a great degree?
3
votes
1answer
1k views

I can't figure out why my professor hates me [closed]

I now have Professor X for the third semester in a row. I have not interacted with him very much outside of class, but I am positive he used to like me. But now, I can tell that he dislikes me. I can ...
0
votes
1answer
181 views

How should I talk to an unwelcoming future research group colleague so no interpersonal issues raise?

This year, I am going to join a research group in which one of my past classmates who used to study in the same university during my the bachelors degree years is also working. The professor who is ...
2
votes
2answers
212 views

Undergrad research with friends; one of them does nothing

About halfway through last semester, my professor asked me to do research under her with a group of people I had been friends with since freshman year. Dream come true! These are all people I already ...
1
vote
3answers
231 views

Quitting research halfway — how unprofessional/irresponsible?

for background: I am a second year Master's student in computer science. I had gone to the same university for undergrad. For my undergrad honors thesis (during last two semesters), I worked with a ...
34
votes
6answers
8k views

Shall I go and see my advisor's father who is on his death bed?

In my country in East Asia, it is extremely impolite if I don't do it when I have this information. However, the US and the EU are known to be more "professional", in my humble opinion. So, ...
8
votes
4answers
3k views

How to tell my mentor to be careful when discussing my work in progress around people I do not trust?

I had a very bad experience with a colleague and just do not like/trust him. (Eavesdropping, lying, ...) I am working on a project with my mentor, and know they shared information with the colleague I ...
2
votes
4answers
710 views

What is the best way to express my condolence to a professor? [duplicate]

I am a Ph.D student at the university. Every student has a favourite professor same as mine. I really care about and our student-teacher relationship growing stronger day by day. My professor really ...
12
votes
6answers
3k views

What should I do if my parents are forcing me to study a career I don't want? [closed]

I want to study biotechnology and become an engineer. I'm a straight A's student and as the eldest daughter I'm quite disciplined. However, my parents don't want me to study that career and are ...
16
votes
2answers
267 views

Does the GDPR cover reviewer blacklists, and if so, how? [closed]

I've served as an area chair for several conferences. Following the review period, the program chairs asked the area chairs to submit to them an annotated list of problematic reviewers. Mostly these ...
85
votes
9answers
15k views

First author doesn't want a co-author to read the whole paper

First author is a PhD student, as am I. All of the other co-authors are our supervisors. The first author doesn't want me to read the paper, because we are both PhD students and I might plagiarize (?!)...
4
votes
1answer
270 views

Should I keep my achievements to myself? [closed]

I'm a PhD student and I have published several good papers and achieved some awards and leadership position early in my career. I always celebrate my work but not boastfully since I poured in a lot of ...
2
votes
1answer
183 views

Reasons for a request for reference being ignored [closed]

What are the reasons that emails for a request for reference might be ignored or delayed in response, a long time after the deadline by an intimate academic advisor?
1
vote
1answer
106 views

How to Best Ask Mentor for Guidance

I'm not a currently enrolled grad student, but I am being adopted on as a "grad student" and am currently working on a project in pharmacology involving a lot of things that I'm not too familiar with. ...
7
votes
2answers
378 views

How to protect your authorship when trapped in “collaboration”?

Some time ago, my advisor has put me working together with some group colleagues on a very loosely defined theoretical physics project. From the beginning, I didn't like this too much because I felt ...
63
votes
11answers
23k views

Is it ethical to tell my teaching assistant that I like him?

I, a twenty-year-old female, have come to admire the graduate teaching assistant for my summer course quite strongly. I'm extremely interested in what he has to say, I always pay attention, never use ...
2
votes
2answers
571 views

Already in grad school, but is grad school for me? [closed]

I'm sure you've seen a dozen variations on this question in this forum, but here's mine: I've just finished my first year in a top US PhD program in the physical sciences, which I never dreamed I ...
11
votes
1answer
771 views

My colleague *may* have forged data. Any advice?

We are about to submit a revised manuscript for publication in a prestigious journal. This is a team work and one of my colleague performed most of the molecular biology experiments, including many ...
2
votes
1answer
281 views

Planning to start a Bachelor's degree during my PhD: what to say to my advisor?

I am a PhD student on my second year. My advisor is one of the most understanding professors I have ever had the pleasure to work with: he is also one of the, if not the, most important researchers in ...
21
votes
4answers
7k views

Two researchers want to work on the same extension to my paper. Who to help?

I recently presented a paper in a top-tier conference in a computer engineering field. I did that work as a research assistant under a Professor but now I am working in the industry. Two different ...
2
votes
4answers
310 views

How to interact with difficult supervisors after graduation?

I submitted my dissertation after several years of working. I will have my defense soon, and I reported what I am going to talk in the defense. However, my primary supervisor now refuses to give ...
6
votes
2answers
308 views

Physician assistant school rescinded my acceptance [closed]

I'm in a complicated situation. I was accepted to physician assistant school and was told I'm one of the most qualified candidates. I'm also a mother of 2 children (under age 3) and living with their ...
4
votes
1answer
588 views

How to deal with advisor drastically changing research expectations?

Some context: I met my advisor during my undergraduate studies (I am pursuing a PhD at the same institution). I took several upper-level elective courses with this professor, and received top grades ...

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