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Questions tagged [interpersonal-issues]

Questions concerning relationships and dealing with problems between people.

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2
votes
2answers
178 views

Undergrad research with friends; one of them does nothing

About halfway through last semester, my professor asked me to do research under her with a group of people I had been friends with since freshman year. Dream come true! These are all people I already ...
1
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3answers
183 views

Quitting research halfway — how unprofessional/irresponsible?

for background: I am a second year Master's student in computer science. I had gone to the same university for undergrad. For my undergrad honors thesis (during last two semesters), I worked with a ...
33
votes
6answers
8k views

Shall I go and see my advisor's father who is on his death bed?

In my country from East Asia, it is extremely impolite if I don't do it when I have this information. However, US and EU are known to be more "professional" in my humble opinion. So in US, is asking ...
2
votes
4answers
314 views

What is the best way to express my condolence to a professor? [duplicate]

I am a Ph.D student at the university. Every student has a favourite professor same as mine. I really care about and our student-teacher relationship growing stronger day by day. My professor really ...
9
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4answers
3k views

How to tell my mentor to be careful when discussing my work in progress around people I do not trust?

I had a very bad experience with a colleague and just do not like/trust him. (Eavesdropping, lying, ...) I am working on a project with my mentor, and know they shared information with the colleague I ...
1
vote
2answers
398 views

exam/teaching culture, possible abusive supervisor, research gatekeeping

Apologies for the length, I don't know how to make this shorter. I also don't know where else to turn for advice. :( I've recently started an MA in what promises to be a brand new humanities ...
39
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2answers
6k views

How to proceed when graduate advisor treats me terribly, possibly because of age?

I am an older graduate student who went back to school after getting laid off. Going back to school wasn't easy and I had to take some classes to prepare myself for graduate work. I had one ...
13
votes
6answers
2k views

What should I do if my parents are forcing me to study a career I don't want? [closed]

I want to study biotechnology and become an engineer. I'm a straight A's student and as the eldest daughter I'm quite disciplined. However, my parents don't want me to study that career and are ...
16
votes
2answers
256 views

Does the GDPR cover reviewer blacklists, and if so, how? [closed]

I've served as an area chair for several conferences. Following the review period, the program chairs asked the area chairs to submit to them an annotated list of problematic reviewers. Mostly these ...
12
votes
4answers
2k views

How to cut ties with abusive supervisor?

While I read through a similar post written by K.Grayson, I couldn't find a response that overlaps with my case. In all honesty, I don't know in what way to explain how the situation with my M.Sc. ...
85
votes
9answers
15k views

First author doesn't want a co-author to read the whole paper

First author is a PhD student, as am I. All of the other co-authors are our supervisors. The first author doesn't want me to read the paper, because we are both PhD students and I might plagiarize (?!)...
11
votes
2answers
6k views

How should one deal with fellow students constantly asking for notes?

I'm an undergraduate student in the Netherlands, and as the title states, I'm encountering an annoying situation. How should one deal with the situation of constantly being asked for the notes of a ...
112
votes
15answers
29k views

How to approach a student with bad hygiene?

I teach engineering at a community college in the US. I currently have a student with very poor hygiene. He stinks pretty badly, has obviously greasy hair, doesn’t change his clothes frequently, and I ...
1
vote
1answer
101 views

How to Best Ask Mentor for Guidance

I'm not a currently enrolled grad student, but I am being adopted on as a "grad student" and am currently working on a project in pharmacology involving a lot of things that I'm not too familiar with. ...
4
votes
1answer
260 views

Should I keep my achievements to myself? [closed]

I'm a PhD student and I have published several good papers and achieved some awards and leadership position early in my career. I always celebrate my work but not boastfully since I poured in a lot of ...
1
vote
1answer
166 views

Reasons for a request for reference being ignored [closed]

What are the reasons that emails for a request for reference might be ignored or delayed in response, a long time after the deadline by an intimate academic advisor?
45
votes
15answers
21k views

How to professionally handle sexist remarks by a student?

Suppose that you noticed a student saying a sexist remark to you, and the student is completely unaware of it. In the spirit of fighting sexism, I feel that I should maybe say something. But on the ...
5
votes
3answers
11k views

What are some way to give praise to a professor without resorting to flattery?

In elementary school we are taught to give an apple to your teacher as a sign of appreciation. Obviously it doesn't work anymore in academia. I wish to maintain a relationship with a professor after ...
7
votes
2answers
306 views

How to protect your authorship when trapped in “collaboration”?

Some time ago, my advisor has put me working together with some group colleagues on a very loosely defined theoretical physics project. From the beginning, I didn't like this too much because I felt ...
4
votes
2answers
789 views

What should I do if I believe my former advisor is alleging to journal editors that I have copied his study?

I have been through many different things with my previous advisor. He wrote publications with my research proposal with his former female student after forcing me to give up the topic. Also, as ...
61
votes
11answers
22k views

Is it ethical to tell my teaching assistant that I like him?

I, a twenty-year-old female, have come to admire the graduate teaching assistant for my summer course quite strongly. I'm extremely interested in what he has to say, I always pay attention, never use ...
4
votes
1answer
548 views

How to deal with advisor drastically changing research expectations?

Some context: I met my advisor during my undergraduate studies (I am pursuing a PhD at the same institution). I took several upper-level elective courses with this professor, and received top grades ...
2
votes
2answers
569 views

Already in grad school, but is grad school for me? [closed]

I'm sure you've seen a dozen variations on this question in this forum, but here's mine: I've just finished my first year in a top US PhD program in the physical sciences, which I never dreamed I ...
6
votes
2answers
274 views

Physician assistant school rescinded my acceptance [closed]

I'm in a complicated situation. I was accepted to physician assistant school and was told I'm one of the most qualified candidates. I'm also a mother of 2 children (under age 3) and living with their ...
13
votes
3answers
2k views

How do I stay motivated in my PhD research when my advisor doesn't seem to like me very much?

My PhD advisor and I simply do not get along. I think it has a lot to do with the language and cultural barriers (we are in Germany). We had an argument this week that almost led to me quitting, but ...
11
votes
1answer
732 views

My colleague *may* have forged data. Any advice?

We are about to submit a revised manuscript for publication in a prestigious journal. This is a team work and one of my colleague performed most of the molecular biology experiments, including many ...
1
vote
1answer
220 views

Planning to start a Bachelor's degree during my PhD: what to say to my advisor?

I am a PhD student on my second year. My advisor is one of the most understanding professors I have ever had the pleasure to work with: he is also one of the, if not the, most important researchers in ...
20
votes
4answers
7k views

Two researchers want to work on the same extension to my paper. Who to help?

I recently presented a paper in a top-tier conference in a computer engineering field. I did that work as a research assistant under a Professor but now I am working in the industry. Two different ...
2
votes
4answers
298 views

How to interact with difficult supervisors after graduation?

I submitted my dissertation after several years of working. I will have my defense soon, and I reported what I am going to talk in the defense. However, my primary supervisor now refuses to give ...
23
votes
5answers
6k views

My advisor talks about me to his colleagues in their native language [closed]

I am in a country where English is not the native language. I have some proficiency in that language but none of the team members know this since I have always communicated with them in English. ...
3
votes
3answers
805 views

Discriminated by senior researcher because of my ethnicity

I am working on a collaborative project between different parties, and there is a senior researcher who underestimates constantly what I ever propose or speak, and he tries to illustrate that I am ...
5
votes
2answers
534 views

Addressing a poor student-advisor relationship in job interview

I have a couple of interviews for research assistant vacancies in the next few days, but I didn't list the advisors of my undergraduate research project as my references, even though I added the ...
45
votes
7answers
11k views

How to explain that I do not want to visit a country due to personal safety concern?

I have been invited to visit a professor in a different country. I am very reluctant to go. The government of this country is currently under investigation by the UN for suspicions of crimes against ...
34
votes
9answers
11k views

My adviser wants to be the first author

I am working on a paper after finishing my Masters. I did all the lab research and writing of the manuscript. My professor was only involved to guide me throughout the research and read my writing and ...
8
votes
2answers
756 views

Faculty criticizing students in front of other students

As a graduate student, I often discuss the performance and abilities of undergraduates in very frank terms with fellow graduate students. However, I would never do so in front of other undergraduates. ...
19
votes
6answers
4k views

Teaching a student (as a TA) when there is flirting, etc. and mutual interest

I am a graduate student with an assistantship. I met an undergraduate and we hit it off (talking about sex, but not sex with each other). But now I assist a class with her (and I'm not good at hiding ...
136
votes
10answers
40k views

I slept with my advisor's daughter and she is blackmailing me now. What can I do?

I am doing a PhD in the US. I am in my mid-twenties and will graduate next spring. My advisor was very good and nice to me. He invited me to have dinner at his home many times and then I met his ...
1
vote
2answers
381 views

Polite message for my supervisors who do unfair things that would totally leads me to lose my study [closed]

I am currently working on finishing my PhD thesis. For about 3 years and 6 months of my study, I am suffering from the absence of my supervisors. She always travels for 6 months, sometimes two months ...
1
vote
0answers
218 views

To what extent do doctoral advisors “pick” their grad students?

I am just starting a graduate program in physics. I have read a few posts describing what a PhD student should think about when looking for an advisor, but I have a question regarding the advisor's ...
3
votes
1answer
272 views

Question on whether I have committed plagiarism (modifying paragraphs from an unpublished document sent as email attachment for PhD thesis)

Background My colleague and I are both PhD students (My colleague started about 8 months after me) from the same research group (and share the same PhD supervisor) in a UK university. We were ...
3
votes
2answers
474 views

How to deal with bad department chair?

As students we have the right to choose our semester subjects (for the new semester beginning in 2019) So we went send an email to the department chair indicating what subject we would like to take. ...
11
votes
7answers
10k views

Prospective supervisor wants me to do irrelevant videos as a condition for supervision. Can I say yes when I mean no?

This question is the reverse of Dealing with a PhD student reneging on an agreement to appear in social media, in which the student had agreed during interviewing to participate in social media ...
70
votes
13answers
33k views

Dealing with a PhD student reneging on an agreement to appear in social media

Inspired by this question, I have a similar but somehow different problem. I recently assumed a tenure-track position. One of my strategies for a visible start is to have a strong presence in social ...
3
votes
1answer
326 views

Supervisor asking me to list a co-author who has literally done nothing [duplicate]

I am in the final stages of writing a paper to submit at an IEEE conference. I am the primary author, in the sense that I did most of the work and most of the writing. I have three other co-authors ...
4
votes
3answers
910 views

Supervisor gets PhD student to do his entire job

My master's supervisor delegates most (if not all) of his work to his senior PhD student. Let's name this student X. X creates all the assignments, midterms, and exams for the courses this professor ...
66
votes
5answers
14k views

What can be done about a disruptive classmate?

There is a classmate who repeatedly interrupts the flow of lectures in various ways. We assume he has learning difficulties of some kind due to how he acts and because he has an assistant with him in ...
0
votes
1answer
195 views

What to do when finding difficulty in resuming study?

Suppose, I completed two semesters and left a university two years ago. I want to resume my study again. I e-mailed a specific guy in the faculty/department/institute. I need a readmission paper from ...
10
votes
1answer
479 views

In the EU, how much protection do I have if I report an assault on myself by my department head?

I had a very ugly incident at my corrupt institute (I live in E. EU). In short, I was assaulted by one of the department's heads during my own group meeting on my own grant for daring to "back talk" ...
9
votes
4answers
2k views

Is it in the best interest of supervisors that his/her students publish their research results in top journals?

I am a math PhD student in a foreign country. When finishing my papers, my advisor (who is a big name in the field) always proposes me to submit them to a journal. The problem is that so far none of ...
79
votes
11answers
21k views

Is the phrase “thanks, but no thanks” appropriate in an email sent to a supervisor?

I recently have had a discussion about my friend's tone in his email. His supervisor asked him whether he wants to attend a summer school in May. He wanted to thank him for his invitation and also ...