Questions tagged [interpersonal-issues]

Questions concerning relationships and dealing with problems between people.

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2
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0answers
34 views

Laboratory second-in-command aggressive towards me

I am a Ph.D. student on a student residence permit in Germany, currently in the middle of my second year (out of three, but extending the project may be an option). There's a woman in the laboratory ...
7
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4answers
356 views

How to deal with incommunicable co-author

The background: In the grand area of Mathematics in which I do research, there is a famous Professor, let us call him 'A', who started a joint project with another younger colleague, let us call him '...
23
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7answers
5k views

I found that a method I was hoping to publish is already known. What would be a proper way to retract emails sent to professors asking for help?

Continuation of this post. Basically, I emailed a publisher and two profs, asking for help on a paper I had written but not submitted. Turns out the method was not as novel as I thought, as an MSE ...
-1
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1answer
252 views

Interacting with Non-academics: How to Not Compromise One's Rigor? [closed]

This is a question about interacting with other people (in particular, non-academics). Hopefully, this is a common-enough problem that it is appropriate for this community. I consider myself an (...
12
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4answers
7k views

Is it a bad idea to ask my erstwhile PI to say in a recommendation letter he “forgot” to acknowledge me in a prior work?

Three years ago, I was an undergrad majoring in Biochemistry in a major US university, and did significant research work in preparation for my thesis. I am currently polishing a personal statement for ...
72
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11answers
25k views

Is it ethical to tell my teaching assistant that I like him?

I, a twenty-year-old female, have come to admire the graduate teaching assistant for my summer course quite strongly. I'm extremely interested in what he has to say, I always pay attention, never use ...
2
votes
2answers
275 views

Classmate shops my unpublished ideas around and contacts my advisors,

I'm about a year into some exciting research, with some early results that many professors are interested in following the progress of. I have two advisors. I recently learned that my graduate ...
1
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1answer
92 views

How to handle unresponsive ex-supervisor on the submission of an article?

During my master's, I had done a project which yielded some interesting results that I and my supervisor started to write up. I moved to a different university (and country) for my PhD and kept ...
36
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1answer
7k views

My wife's contributions are not acknowledged in our group's paper that has me as coauthor. Should I speak up for her?

The background is that my wife and I are in the same lab. Recently our group did a paper together, and I am an author. However, my wife had contributed to draw a figure to a publication level. ...
2
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0answers
61 views

How do I tell my private teacher I want to stop learning subject with him/her [closed]

I would like to tell it politely, because there is a chance I will hire the teacher in the future. Now I just want to stop working with the teacher.
6
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2answers
431 views

How to deal with student with low self-awareness about health condition?

Summary: Student got defensive when I suggested he might have some neurologial issue that should be checked, should I apologize or how to address the issue? I am a PhD student advising a student ...
25
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5answers
3k views

How to deal with unbalanced collaborations?

As a postdoc in a theoretical STEM field, I have had many wonderful collaborations where all authors contribute non-trivially to the final product. However, there was also many "unbalanced" ...
2
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1answer
244 views

How to deal with an absentee Ph.D. advisor and selfish fellow Ph.D. student

I am a Ph.D. student in North America, I am three years into a four-year program. The relevant people in this story are my advisor (A), the other Ph.D. student in my group (B). A is a very well ...
1
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1answer
85 views

How to reject an advisor for master's thessis?

(I could not find the same question. If this has been asked before please let me know.) I wrote an e-mail to a professor to be his student and he responded with his area of interests. Then I wrote for ...
34
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7answers
5k views

How to deal with animosity between different “factions” in a certain field?

In academia, there are sometimes sort of "feuds" between different researchers. For example, one such situation is described here: https://www.quora.com/Mathematicians-What-is-the-story-...
1
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1answer
170 views

How to deal with a mentor asking for sudden tasks

Consider the following conversation: Mentor: What is your progress? Me: blah.... blah... blah... Mentor: Okay. Me: What about other tasks (if any)? Mentor: Do not worry about them, I can handle, if ...
10
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1answer
544 views

PhD forced out of university: Hong Kong

(Too Long; Didnt Read members of academia.stackexchange, read the text in bold only) I am a PhD student in one of the Hong Kong Universities. For those that do not follow news, Hong Kong has been ...
3
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2answers
214 views

Can “revision authors” be dropped from a paper?

I have authored my first paper for a journal. I talked to some co-authors, hoping that they would help me with the design and intellectual work, but eventually their contribution has been minimal. I ...
2
votes
2answers
327 views

Peer shared with me “too much information” for a homework problem

In the summer, I took a math course where one of the homeworks involved a question where answers were expected to include several diagrams alongside an explanation. At the time, I thought it was a ...
5
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2answers
254 views

Fighting for academic fairness: My authorship is unaffected but my PhD advisor pushed up authorship of a co-author at the expense of other co-authors

I’m Nick, a postdoc currently working on publication of my PhD work. There are several authors on the paper - two former graduate students as co-first authors (myself and Aubrey), followed by five ...
13
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2answers
479 views

A group run by my advisor's former student keeps scooping my work. Is my advisor sabotaging me?

I'm worried that my advisor is sabotaging me either knowingly or unknowingly. I'm entering the 5th year of my PhD in a hard science. I had prior publications, but I have yet to publish any papers ...
-3
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1answer
284 views

Is it perceived poorly if a young master's student dates an undergraduate or occasionally attends a college party?

Someone mentioned that grad students who dated undergraduates are looked down upon and not invited to events. So, in your experience, are the younger grad/masters students (22-24?) who have dated ...
8
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2answers
402 views

Is it normal for master's students to be sidelined, compared to PhD students?

I'm a MS student who just finished his second semester. The lab that I'm in is fairly large (around 30 people) and there are a variety of students working on different topics. Here in my country (...
6
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3answers
3k views

How to manage your advisor's jealousy over your work?

Say you made a smart move in solving an important question that your advisor did not think of and all of a suddenly your advisor becomes jealous because you have made your advisor look bad. What are ...
10
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4answers
2k views

My advisor escalated things after not getting a coauthorship he did not deserve

I am a 3rd year PhD Student (Computer Science, India). I have two advisors, one internal and one external. The internal advisor has no knowledge of my area and he doesn’t care what I am doing. He has ...
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1answer
486 views

How to handle students' disrespectfulness?

Related with this problem: How to deal with unruly, unengaged students who complain about me? After the chairman spoke to me, I started talking to my students softly (more than needed). I tried many ...
5
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4answers
4k views

How Would You React If a Student Complained to the Dept. Chair About You but Later Apologized and Disclosed Mental Illness? [closed]

After experiencing a lot of stress during my last undergrad. semester (and an episode of depression caused by my favorite professor declining to be my grad. advisor due to retirement), I worried that ...
8
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1answer
487 views

How can I tactfully decline my supervisor's suggestion and set boundaries?

New here. So I just started my postdoc about a month ago (great time to start a postdoc during a pandemic I know). Learning the ropes and trying to kinda set my own path in the lab has been ...
1
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1answer
172 views

How to handle one doctoral supervisor being unhappy over a doctoral student's preference for the other supervisor?

For my doctoral programme, I have 2 supervisors: 1 academic (i.e. a professor) and the other an industrial. Over the past few years I've found that my industrial supervisor isn't really able to ...
11
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11answers
10k views

How to show special respect to a famous PhD advisor?

I am about to enter a 3-year PhD. Neither my bachelor’s nor my master’s were research-oriented nor very typical for my field, and I had to find a potential supervisor on my own. Due to my background, ...
3
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1answer
141 views

Accepted behaviour while working in international collaborations

How is getting-job-done outlook perceived in different parts of the academic world? In some parts of physics, I know a person who goes forward and suggests times and dates for meeting up for the ...
2
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2answers
381 views

My former post-doc host failed to credit my work in a paper - what to do?

I was employed as a post-doctoral fellow at some institute, and left it a couple of years ago. When I left, it was on ok terms with my host (= person who invited me and arranged for funding for my ...
35
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6answers
9k views

Shall I go and see my advisor's father who is on his death bed?

In my country in East Asia, it is extremely impolite if I don't do it when I have this information. However, the US and the EU are known to be more "professional", in my humble opinion. So, ...
0
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1answer
255 views

Is it right for a supervisor to try to prevent his students from pursuing other research directions by simultaneously working with other professors?

I have faced a problem recently with my academic advisor and I seek some advice. I have been working with my advisor for one and a half year now. No publication resulted so far. One of the problems ...
43
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1answer
6k views

How to proceed when graduate advisor treats me terribly, possibly because of age?

I am an older graduate student who went back to school after getting laid off. Going back to school wasn't easy and I had to take some classes to prepare myself for graduate work. I had one ...
-2
votes
2answers
430 views

What are the implications when a student takes a conflict to the chair?

Does writing to a Department Chair always have to result in a grievance and/or official investigation, or does the Chair ever help the parties work things out? I had originally posed this question ...
5
votes
2answers
621 views

Addressing a poor student-advisor relationship in job interview

I have a couple of interviews for research assistant vacancies in the next few days, but I didn't list the advisors of my undergraduate research project as my references, even though I added the ...
47
votes
13answers
11k views

Is it acceptable for a student to connect with a professor on LinkedIn?

Earlier in the semester, I was informed by both an advisor/academic counselor and a professor at my university that it is a good idea to connect with professors on LinkedIn if they have interests in ...
6
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2answers
1k views

What should I do if a group project member is not contributing anything but is also depressed?

I know these questions have been asked before but I would like some advice and perspectives on what I should do when mental health comes into the equation. The context is: an undergraduate class with ...
15
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4answers
2k views

How can a student stop/report conversations with a professor that make her uncomfortable, while avoiding negative consequences for the student?

I have some concerns about the behavior of a professor whose class I am taking, Professor A. First, Professor A has been trying to involve me in his attempts to get another professor in the ...
50
votes
6answers
19k views

Friendship with Professor okay?

My professor and I walk to and from for every class I have with her, I am a female senior student and my professor is in her 30's. I've gotten to know her really well, we even had a random dinner ...
12
votes
2answers
2k views

Sharing with research team about being affected by a natural disaster

Is it professional enough to share personal worries with your research team and your supervisor where you are pursuing doctoral studies away from home and your hometown has been affected by a natural ...
62
votes
10answers
13k views

Any good way to tell a faculty candidate “We don't want you”?

I serve on a faculty search committee at a large university here in the US. The part of the job none of us enjoys is informing a candidate who's visited and given a teaching demonstration that we've ...
18
votes
7answers
8k views

A lecturer wants to grade me based on 'creativity' in a task, how do I succeed?

TLDR: In a course where students are required to do exercises, a programming project and write a report in small groups, the lecturer announced that grading will be based on 'creativity' and how funny ...
1
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1answer
121 views

How to delay a potential advisor without burning bridge?

I am talking with a professor ("Smith") in my department about doing research under his advisement. He seems like a friendly, helpful person, and I think he has tenure. So maybe the pressure would ...
3
votes
1answer
135 views

Undergrad research supervisors want me to write conference paper I have no interest in

I have been doing undergrad research advised by a comp sci professor and a civil-engineering professor. I am a comp sci major. To perform this research, we needed to do a tricky modification to a ...
3
votes
1answer
266 views

I think my TA winked at me and have developed feelings. Should I ask her out after the semester ends? [duplicate]

TLDR: I have feelings for my TA, think she winked at me, and would like to ask her out after the end of the semester. So my eyes do this weird thing sometimes when I'm sleep-deprived or stressed ...
16
votes
4answers
5k views

What do supervisors have to gain from a success or failure of a PhD student?

I'm finishing a really messed up dissertation. Maybe decent in some sense, but all the PhD has been done without following any of the supposed methodology and criteria. Since I'm in a sort of arm ...
0
votes
1answer
136 views

How to manage the relations between supervisor and institution?

For a student, the eventual conflict resolution should be facing the supervisor. This already generates a first problem: how can a PhD student explicitly face uncomfortable situations that imply a ...
3
votes
3answers
356 views

How to gracefully walk away from coauthored paper

I am working on a coauthored paper which I would like to step away from. How can I do so very tactfully and gracefully? I want to step away because I don't quite agree with the direction the paper ...

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