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Questions tagged [interpersonal-issues]

Questions concerning relationships and dealing with problems between people.

64
votes
5answers
13k views

What can be done about a disruptive classmate?

There is a classmate who repeatedly interrupts the flow of lectures in various ways. We assume he has learning difficulties of some kind due to how he acts and because he has an assistant with him in ...
4
votes
3answers
818 views

Supervisor gets PhD student to do his entire job

My master's supervisor delegates most (if not all) of his work to his senior PhD student. Let's name this student X. X creates all the assignments, midterms, and exams for the courses this professor ...
10
votes
1answer
441 views

In the EU, how much protection do I have if I report an assault on myself by my department head?

I had a very ugly incident at my corrupt institute (I live in E. EU). In short, I was assaulted by one of the department's heads during my own group meeting on my own grant for daring to "back talk" ...
10
votes
4answers
2k views

Is it in the best interest of supervisors that his/her students publish their research results in top journals?

I am a math PhD student in a foreign country. When finishing my papers, my advisor (who is a big name in the field) always proposes me to submit them to a journal. The problem is that so far none of ...
0
votes
1answer
191 views

What to do when finding difficulty in resuming study?

Suppose, I completed two semesters and left a university two years ago. I want to resume my study again. I e-mailed a specific guy in the faculty/department/institute. I need a readmission paper from ...
28
votes
2answers
7k views

Etiquette for a female PhD student to reject her male supervisor's invitation to meet outside of work

The role of supervisor is a key role. The relationship between the supervisor and the students should be healthy. In this context, in India, there is a lot of difference between male and female ...
9
votes
5answers
2k views

Could I submit an abstract for a conference prior asking my supervisor permission about it?

I would like to submit an abstract for a poster presentation, I'm just worried that if I tell my supervisor before submitting, she might say I shouldn't do it, because she rarely wants me to be away ...
27
votes
7answers
12k views

My supervisor is making me work on something that is not my PhD project. What should I do?

My PhD project is a very little part of a big study that my supervisor is currently running. I am already four months into my PhD and I just have a 3 years position to finish my thesis. So far I haven’...
5
votes
1answer
190 views

How do I make the case to regain first authorship?

I am a senior Phd student in a very small lab consisting of me, my PI, and one other graduate student (one year under me). We began at an academic institution working on this paper related to my ...
6
votes
1answer
412 views

My supervisor does not want to publish my research

I just graduated from grad school and to say that it has been hell is just a euphemism. My supervisor has been a bully all the time and every thing that I did and didn't please my supervisor was met ...
6
votes
3answers
532 views

A potential collaborator and PhD student took a commanding tone with me (faculty) – how should I react?

Background about me I am an early-to-mid-career teaching-track faculty (four years of cross-curricular teaching experience in engineering) in the USA. I teach courses both at the undergraduate and ...
8
votes
2answers
458 views

What can a PI do about a low-performing postdoc?

This is a hypothetical question inspired by a flip side of the situation described here. Consider a PI on tenure-track position, facing tenure / promotion panel in a few years. The PI has just got ...
32
votes
5answers
5k views

How do I get over these (possibly sexist) feelings regarding an underqualified labmate? [closed]

Well, this is kind of embarrassing for me and I am judging myself as well. I have just started my PhD. And there is another woman who has started in the same lab as me. Over the first week, I found ...
35
votes
7answers
6k views

1.5 years later, how to make sure unprofessional behaviour by former mentor has consequences?

I was a post doc at a large US university for a year and after took another postdoc position in my home country. My mentor was a tenure track assistant professor. It pretty soon became clear that ...
127
votes
10answers
35k views

I slept with my advisor's daughter and she is blackmailing me now. What can I do? [closed]

I am doing a PhD in the US. I am in my mid-twenties and will graduate next spring. My advisor was very good and nice to me. He invited me to have dinner at his home many times and then I met his ...
1
vote
1answer
94 views

How to reconnect a relationship with a professor

Today I'm currently in my final MSc year, and I have finished working for my thesis. I am under supervision of professor X, which I find myself at ease and actually enjoy what I do. My field is ...
1
vote
1answer
126 views

prospective English doctoral candidate: advice regarding weird relationship with potential advisor

I recently got my BA in English from a top 10 university and am planning on re-applying to the same school's doctoral program this fall. (For personal reasons, I'm constrained to programs within a ...
1
vote
1answer
79 views

Can a master's student change their mind and look for a different project?

I am a fairly new Master's student (~3 months). A few weeks ago, my supervisor told me to work on project X. I reluctantly agreed to work on X because I was not able to come up with any alternatives, ...
-2
votes
1answer
306 views

Field-dependency of politics and public shaming in academia

I have recently been quite shocked to learn of the blog of an accomplished string theorist, which includes a lot of personal invective against physicists he disagrees with, as well as a lot of non-...
4
votes
2answers
434 views

How to ask a, probably angry, PhD supervisor for a letter of recommendation after graduation from uni?

I was on good terms with my PhD supervisor throughout my studies. After graduation, I gave a talk at a symposium and my PhD supervisor was in the audience. I was planning to add a few sentences of ...
25
votes
4answers
7k views

As a student, how can I negotiate comfortable and appropriate sleeping arrangements with a stranger for a conference?

I'm an undergraduate student that was offered a role researching for a grant. I was able to get authorship status on a paper and will be attending a conference for it later this year. The professor I ...
64
votes
8answers
17k views

While showing my work to my supervisor, an adult website appeared. Am I in trouble?

I will try to make this brief. I am a student at a prominent university in the UK, and while I was showing my thesis work, a website, to my supervisor, the website crashed. Then I was asked to close ...
14
votes
7answers
9k views

How to deal with sources whose authors I don't have good relationship with?

I used to have a good relationship with an author, but now it's broken. However, my work is heavily based on the work of that author, and I'm not sure if citing it without informing them is OK here. ...
3
votes
3answers
343 views

How to avoid personal issues interfering with my Ph.D. studies?

Background My life had (and still has) difficult problems (chronic disease and its consequences: social isolation, anxiety, having to take extra measures to take care of my health...). As a ...
64
votes
13answers
30k views

Dealing with a PhD student reneging on an agreement to appear in social media

Inspired by this question, I have a similar but somehow different problem. I recently assumed a tenure-track position. One of my strategies for a visible start is to have a strong presence in social ...
2
votes
2answers
159 views

Rescinding or deferring admission over a break up

I have a full ride for a grad program at a good school I've recently gone through an awful breakup with a girlfriend of 7 years I now want to take an extra year before going to school, for many ...
9
votes
2answers
318 views

Do I need to explain my reasoning when choosing between two offers

I have been lucky enough to have been offered different professor positions in different universities. Both departments have made a lot of efforts to try and convince me to choose theirs (who gets ...
37
votes
10answers
10k views

Is passion a must-have for a Master's student?

When I was accepted to become a Master's student, I had virtually no experience in the topics that my supervisor wanted to work in. Lately I've been catching up on background knowledge (I've been in ...
11
votes
2answers
649 views

Toxic colleague talks about me to Professors

I am a PhD student with a very difficult colleague - someone I thought was just socially inept, and rude. I was always friendly, giving her the benefit of the doubt, even though she offended me and ...
45
votes
12answers
23k views

How can I avoid inadvertently offending my female peers and getting into trouble for it?

Attention has been drawn recently to an incident that occurred at a scientific conference and its sequelae described in this article: The fuss started when [Prof. X] and [Prof. Y] ended up in the ...
35
votes
5answers
4k views

Improving work conditions of student assistants, PhDs, Postdocs etc

I have been following threads on this website for a few months now. However it's my first time posting. I am a postdoctoral researcher from a Western European country who has done reasonably well ...
0
votes
1answer
107 views

Improve my relationship with this professor?

When applying to graduate school, I didn't asked for a letter of recommendation from a professor who offered one. Now I have a course with him and he seems to avoid me. How I can fix my relationship ...
7
votes
3answers
199 views

Negotiating boundaries with a conflict avoidant advisor

My PhD advisor is someone who values workplace/personal life boundaries. Sometimes I feel that he gets mad at me for accidentally crossing those boundaries in small ways. The problem is that he doesn'...
15
votes
3answers
4k views

Problem with undergraduate research supervisor, how to proceed?

Setting I am currently an undergraduate student in chemistry and I have recently started working on an undergraduate research project in a known laboratory in the US. I am very passionate about the ...
50
votes
7answers
13k views

Is talking to a professor about personal issues acceptable?

I've been struggling a lot recently with stuff thats been going on, I'm in therapy and receiving help but I'm still having a really hard time. I have a professor who's always asking if I'm doing okay ...
11
votes
2answers
826 views

Rules for notifying co-authors about re-presenting a project at a conference

I am a PhD student in molecular biology & bioinformatics in Australia. I have previously presented one of my projects as a poster at a conference. This was sent for review to all co-authors, ...
47
votes
4answers
6k views

Withdraw manuscript from peer review after finding a major error

I just received a major revision decision (1st round) for a manuscript I submitted to a reputable journal. After looking into one of the reviewer's comments I found a major error in my analysis. The ...
2
votes
3answers
498 views

How do I communicate to a Teacher Assistant that I would like to fix our relationship?

I am a final year undergrad student in mathematics. This is an important detail as usually there are not many mathematics students, and even less in their final (because of the dropout rate). Because ...
3
votes
0answers
289 views

I am having trouble with my advisor. Can someone help? [closed]

I am a 4th year Ph.D. student from India. I don't get any help from my advisor. He has always been demotivating me. In my entire 4 years, I have never got any moral support from him. I don't get any ...
5
votes
1answer
258 views

How do I tell my advisor that I lost interest in the subject?

I got my MSc in physics working on a certain subject with my advisor. I'm now starting my PhD studies under the same advisor. The problem is, there's a tacit assumption that I'll do my PhD on the ...
8
votes
1answer
338 views

How to negotiate with collaborators on adjusting procedures to interdisciplinary projects?

This is an issue I frequently face. As a biologist I like doing interdisciplinary science. In fact I believe interdisciplinarity is the key to producing any truly insightful observation, at least in ...
3
votes
1answer
629 views

My supervisor won't accept that I won't stay in the lab for a PhD

I have recently graduated a M.Sc. I have agreed with my supervisor that I will complete the work required in order to make my project publishable (we have agreed that this does not entail any ...
14
votes
7answers
6k views

Cannot attend CS conference but coauthor isn't registering

The deadline to register for a peer-reviewed computer science conference with proceedings is in three days and I cannot attend despite being the main author of a paper there since I am leaving the ...
77
votes
11answers
20k views

Is the phrase “thanks, but no thanks” appropriate in an email sent to a supervisor?

I recently have had a discussion about my friend's tone in his email. His supervisor asked him whether he wants to attend a summer school in May. He wanted to thank him for his invitation and also ...
2
votes
1answer
199 views

How to get specific guidance from busy advisor?

I need to graduate this semester, my master's project is far behind schedule, and I'm not getting the guidance I want from my advisor. How can I work with him to handle this productively? I have to ...
58
votes
9answers
9k views

Any good way to tell a faculty candidate “We don't want you”?

I serve on a faculty search committee at a large university here in the US. The part of the job none of us enjoys is informing a candidate who's visited and given a teaching demonstration that we've ...
3
votes
1answer
143 views

Resolving dependency on a senior colleague before deadline

(Disclaimer: While this question pertains to interpersonal issues in a working environment, I feel it is better suited to this SE than Workplace because of it being in the context of a lack of formal ...
-11
votes
2answers
431 views

How should I deal with feelings of discomfort related to race?

I need a specific class to graduate. However, it's only taught by a single instructor who happens to be of a demographic group that I'm uncomfortable around. How could I complete the required ...
74
votes
5answers
15k views

My supervisor misjudges my knowledge

I started working on my master thesis a few weeks ago. When I talk to my supervisor and try to discuss new ideas she always starts to explain very basic material that is only tangentially related. ...
5
votes
2answers
152 views

Discussing an unpublished approach of a former team member

I started my research as a PhD student a few years ago. I was assigned to researcher X's team and had to assist him in finding a solution as the project got stuck. However, X was not able to implement ...