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Questions tagged [interpersonal-issues]

Questions concerning relationships and dealing with problems between people.

6
votes
3answers
455 views

A potential collaborator and PhD student took a commanding tone with me (faculty) – how should I react?

Background about me I am an early-to-mid-career teaching-track faculty (four years of cross-curricular teaching experience in engineering) in the USA. I teach courses both at the undergraduate and ...
8
votes
2answers
396 views

What can a PI do about a low-performing postdoc?

This is a hypothetical question inspired by a flip side of the situation described here. Consider a PI on tenure-track position, facing tenure / promotion panel in a few years. The PI has just got ...
33
votes
5answers
5k views

How do I get over these (possibly sexist) feelings regarding an underqualified labmate? [closed]

Well, this is kind of embarrassing for me and I am judging myself as well. I have just started my PhD. And there is another woman who has started in the same lab as me. Over the first week, I found ...
34
votes
7answers
6k views

1.5 years later, how to make sure unprofessional behaviour by former mentor has consequences?

I was a post doc at a large US university for a year and after took another postdoc position in my home country. My mentor was a tenure track assistant professor. It pretty soon became clear that ...
129
votes
10answers
34k views

I slept with my advisor's daughter and she is blackmailing me now. What can I do? [closed]

I am doing a PhD in the US. I am in my mid-twenties and will graduate next spring. My advisor was very good and nice to me. He invited me to have dinner at his home many times and then I met his ...
1
vote
1answer
89 views

How to reconnect a relationship with a professor

Today I'm currently in my final MSc year, and I have finished working for my thesis. I am under supervision of professor X, which I find myself at ease and actually enjoy what I do. My field is ...
1
vote
1answer
122 views

prospective English doctoral candidate: advice regarding weird relationship with potential advisor

I recently got my BA in English from a top 10 university and am planning on re-applying to the same school's doctoral program this fall. (For personal reasons, I'm constrained to programs within a ...
1
vote
1answer
72 views

Can a master's student change their mind and look for a different project?

I am a fairly new Master's student (~3 months). A few weeks ago, my supervisor told me to work on project X. I reluctantly agreed to work on X because I was not able to come up with any alternatives, ...
0
votes
1answer
302 views

Field-dependency of politics and public shaming in academia

I have recently been quite shocked to learn of the blog of an accomplished string theorist, which includes a lot of personal invective against physicists he disagrees with, as well as a lot of non-...
4
votes
2answers
386 views

How to ask a, probably angry, PhD supervisor for a letter of recommendation after graduation from uni?

I was on good terms with my PhD supervisor throughout my studies. After graduation, I gave a talk at a symposium and my PhD supervisor was in the audience. I was planning to add a few sentences of ...
25
votes
4answers
7k views

As a student, how can I negotiate comfortable and appropriate sleeping arrangements with a stranger for a conference?

I'm an undergraduate student that was offered a role researching for a grant. I was able to get authorship status on a paper and will be attending a conference for it later this year. The professor I ...
63
votes
8answers
17k views

While showing my work to my supervisor, an adult website appeared. Am I in trouble?

I will try to make this brief. I am a student at a prominent university in the UK, and while I was showing my thesis work, a website, to my supervisor, the website crashed. Then I was asked to close ...
14
votes
7answers
9k views

How to deal with sources whose authors I don't have good relationship with?

I used to have a good relationship with an author, but now it's broken. However, my work is heavily based on the work of that author, and I'm not sure if citing it without informing them is OK here. ...
3
votes
3answers
333 views

How to avoid personal issues interfering with my Ph.D. studies?

Background My life had (and still has) difficult problems (chronic disease and its consequences: social isolation, anxiety, having to take extra measures to take care of my health...). As a ...
2
votes
2answers
157 views

Rescinding or deferring admission over a break up

I have a full ride for a grad program at a good school I've recently gone through an awful breakup with a girlfriend of 7 years I now want to take an extra year before going to school, for many ...
9
votes
2answers
307 views

Do I need to explain my reasoning when choosing between two offers

I have been lucky enough to have been offered different professor positions in different universities. Both departments have made a lot of efforts to try and convince me to choose theirs (who gets ...
37
votes
10answers
10k views

Is passion a must-have for a Master's student?

When I was accepted to become a Master's student, I had virtually no experience in the topics that my supervisor wanted to work in. Lately I've been catching up on background knowledge (I've been in ...
11
votes
2answers
614 views

Toxic colleague talks about me to Professors

I am a PhD student with a very difficult colleague - someone I thought was just socially inept, and rude. I was always friendly, giving her the benefit of the doubt, even though she offended me and ...
45
votes
12answers
23k views

How can I avoid inadvertently offending my female peers and getting into trouble for it?

Attention has been drawn recently to an incident that occurred at a scientific conference and its sequelae described in this article: The fuss started when [Prof. X] and [Prof. Y] ended up in the ...
35
votes
5answers
4k views

Improving work conditions of student assistants, PhDs, Postdocs etc

I have been following threads on this website for a few months now. However it's my first time posting. I am a postdoctoral researcher from a Western European country who has done reasonably well ...
0
votes
1answer
105 views

Improve my relationship with this professor?

When applying to graduate school, I didn't asked for a letter of recommendation from a professor who offered one. Now I have a course with him and he seems to avoid me. How I can fix my relationship ...
7
votes
3answers
199 views

Negotiating boundaries with a conflict avoidant advisor

My PhD advisor is someone who values workplace/personal life boundaries. Sometimes I feel that he gets mad at me for accidentally crossing those boundaries in small ways. The problem is that he doesn'...
15
votes
3answers
4k views

Problem with undergraduate research supervisor, how to proceed?

Setting I am currently an undergraduate student in chemistry and I have recently started working on an undergraduate research project in a known laboratory in the US. I am very passionate about the ...
50
votes
7answers
12k views

Is talking to a professor about personal issues acceptable?

I've been struggling a lot recently with stuff thats been going on, I'm in therapy and receiving help but I'm still having a really hard time. I have a professor who's always asking if I'm doing okay ...
11
votes
2answers
734 views

Rules for notifying co-authors about re-presenting a project at a conference

I am a PhD student in molecular biology & bioinformatics in Australia. I have previously presented one of my projects as a poster at a conference. This was sent for review to all co-authors, ...
47
votes
4answers
6k views

Withdraw manuscript from peer review after finding a major error

I just received a major revision decision (1st round) for a manuscript I submitted to a reputable journal. After looking into one of the reviewer's comments I found a major error in my analysis. The ...
2
votes
3answers
400 views

How do I communicate to a Teacher Assistant that I would like to fix our relationship?

I am a final year undergrad student in mathematics. This is an important detail as usually there are not many mathematics students, and even less in their final (because of the dropout rate). Because ...
3
votes
0answers
281 views

I am having trouble with my advisor. Can someone help? [closed]

I am a 4th year Ph.D. student from India. I don't get any help from my advisor. He has always been demotivating me. In my entire 4 years, I have never got any moral support from him. I don't get any ...
5
votes
1answer
237 views

How do I tell my advisor that I lost interest in the subject?

I got my MSc in physics working on a certain subject with my advisor. I'm now starting my PhD studies under the same advisor. The problem is, there's a tacit assumption that I'll do my PhD on the ...
8
votes
1answer
336 views

How to negotiate with collaborators on adjusting procedures to interdisciplinary projects?

This is an issue I frequently face. As a biologist I like doing interdisciplinary science. In fact I believe interdisciplinarity is the key to producing any truly insightful observation, at least in ...
3
votes
1answer
592 views

My supervisor won't accept that I won't stay in the lab for a PhD

I have recently graduated a M.Sc. I have agreed with my supervisor that I will complete the work required in order to make my project publishable (we have agreed that this does not entail any ...
14
votes
7answers
6k views

Cannot attend CS conference but coauthor isn't registering

The deadline to register for a peer-reviewed computer science conference with proceedings is in three days and I cannot attend despite being the main author of a paper there since I am leaving the ...
76
votes
11answers
19k views

Is the phrase “thanks, but no thanks” appropriate in an email sent to a supervisor?

I recently have had a discussion about my friend's tone in his email. His supervisor asked him whether he wants to attend a summer school in May. He wanted to thank him for his invitation and also ...
2
votes
1answer
196 views

How to get specific guidance from busy advisor?

I need to graduate this semester, my master's project is far behind schedule, and I'm not getting the guidance I want from my advisor. How can I work with him to handle this productively? I have to ...
58
votes
9answers
9k views

Any good way to tell a faculty candidate “We don't want you”?

I serve on a faculty search committee at a large university here in the US. The part of the job none of us enjoys is informing a candidate who's visited and given a teaching demonstration that we've ...
3
votes
1answer
142 views

Resolving dependency on a senior colleague before deadline

(Disclaimer: While this question pertains to interpersonal issues in a working environment, I feel it is better suited to this SE than Workplace because of it being in the context of a lack of formal ...
-11
votes
2answers
403 views

How should I deal with feelings of discomfort related to race?

I need a specific class to graduate. However, it's only taught by a single instructor who happens to be of a demographic group that I'm uncomfortable around. How could I complete the required ...
75
votes
5answers
15k views

My supervisor misjudges my knowledge

I started working on my master thesis a few weeks ago. When I talk to my supervisor and try to discuss new ideas she always starts to explain very basic material that is only tangentially related. ...
5
votes
2answers
147 views

Discussing an unpublished approach of a former team member

I started my research as a PhD student a few years ago. I was assigned to researcher X's team and had to assist him in finding a solution as the project got stuck. However, X was not able to implement ...
6
votes
2answers
134 views

Going from co-advisors to just one advisor

I'm 2.5 years in to a 4 year PhD with possibility of a 5th year of funding. I started with one advisor, but research interests started shifting, so we brought on a co-advisor. My research interests ...
40
votes
9answers
11k views

Will declining a research award be problematic for me, or other people?

I recently received an offer for a research award for early-stage scholars producing outstanding research in my field. I have verified the award and the association are genuine and I have colleagues ...
2
votes
1answer
435 views

My advisor completely ignores me what should I do?

My advisor became an assistant professor nearly two years ago. I worked with him for one year but did not publish a paper, and he thinks my progress is too slow. He asked if I want him to assign a new ...
17
votes
7answers
6k views

Not including student who contributed very little as coauthor of paper

I am a researcher in condensed-matter physics, and I recently started a research project with another professor, for which I hired a student for a six-month undergraduate internship. The student was ...
24
votes
6answers
3k views

Advisor pushing for dead end topics

I am new to this forum. I am encountering a problem in my doctoral studies that I haven't been able to find in an existing thread so I wanted to ask here. Any advice on how to navigate this would be ...
28
votes
4answers
6k views

Professor refuses letter of recommendation request

The application for TA fellowship, one normally takes recommedations from previous professors one has TAed under. What he replied when I messaged him asking for a letter of recommendation: If you ...
108
votes
14answers
23k views

How to approach a student with bad hygiene?

I teach engineering at a community college in the US. I currently have a student with very poor hygiene. He stinks pretty badly, has obviously greasy hair, doesn’t change his clothes frequently, and I ...
42
votes
6answers
14k views

Letter writer snapped at my reminder email. What can I do in the future to prevent this, and should I still accept his letter?

I sent a reminder email one day before the due date for a couple of my applications to grad school. It said something along the lines of This is just a reminder that first due dates are tomorrow: [...
21
votes
3answers
8k views

Professor refusing to write recommendation letter to make student work longer

My friend is on his way to graduate with PharmD (outside US). He wants to apply for PhD program in US, and have asked his professors that he has worked with in the lab for recommendation letters. ...
1
vote
1answer
87 views

Response to project proposal feedback

I have recently submitted a project proposal for the final project of one of my graduate courses. The unit lecturer who marked my proposal is in his 70s and he has once stated in class that he's an ...
46
votes
8answers
11k views

Saying no to student requests for excessive appointments and help solving homework

I am relatively new to teaching University undergraduate classes in mathematics. One of the harder things I've had to do is to say 'no'. To somehow respectfully deny a student what they're asking for. ...