Questions tagged [interpersonal-issues]

Questions concerning relationships and dealing with problems between people.

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How to get rid of the awkwardness and feeling of inferiority for being a fairly old graduate/PHD student? [duplicate]

I am a first year MS student in an STEM area. For many reasons I didn't enter this subject area and didn't gain ANY research experience until last summer, when I was 26 (now 27). So starting next fall ...
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  • 931
3 votes
3 answers
395 views

How do I avoid answering too many questions?

Often in class, professors will ask questions to the class. Usually, I'll at least think I know the answer to the question, so naturally I want to answer it. The problem is that my hand shouldn't ...
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  • 341
-1 votes
2 answers
293 views

How should I approach my studies in the Humanities area if I'm a contrarian?

Before I start, I should mention that the closest thing I found here was this post, but the comments say something I really want to avoid, which is to sound like a [political ideology here]-nut. I am ...
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  • 19
0 votes
3 answers
397 views

How to write an apology message to a professor when you've accidently been arrogant?

I'm a first year and our professor was taking students for a research paper; we had to call the professor so he could ask us some questions. I was kind of nervous, and when he asked me if I'd done any ...
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10 votes
10 answers
5k views

Big life decision: move to a different country to pursue PhD, or stay with my significant other and do my PhD at my undergrad institution? [closed]

I have been agonizing over a decision regarding where I should pursue my PhD in theoretical chemistry. My choices are as follows: university A (US) has the best department in the world for my area of ...
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3 votes
3 answers
246 views

Is it ethical to be dropped as a sub-awardee / co-PI after helping to write a grant proposal?

I co-wrote a proposal with two faculty members who mentored me during my PhD. Since I am now a non-tenure track Assistant Professor at a different institution than the other two, I was to be given a ...
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1 vote
3 answers
225 views

Recommendation letter from PhD supervisor

I have completed my Ph.D. in cancer biology. I want to apply for a postdoc position in the USA, but my supervisor is not on good terms with me. She is a very quarrelsome and arrogant lady. I am ...
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  • 19
0 votes
1 answer
185 views

Isolating myself and focusing on studies

Looking for some useful tips for focusing on studies. Three of my semesters were held in online mode. I was at home and was totally focused. Our fourth semester started in offline mode recently. I had ...
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6 votes
3 answers
612 views

Pushback on unorganized professors, for older adult student

I'm hoping you can help. My background is that I became a parent at an early age, and chose at the time to prioritized raising and feeding my child over going to college. Doing both really wasn't an ...
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  • 185
3 votes
2 answers
256 views

Pros and Cons of moving away from SO/Family for PhD [closed]

I completed my undergrad and masters at UofT (Toronto) in CS (my field is CS Theory/Online learning) and I was interested in applying elsewhere for a PhD. I am in a fortunate position to have received ...
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  • 31
7 votes
9 answers
4k views

Is it unprofessional that my TA texted me on a Saturday night?

I had an academic issue during the week and I reached out about via text (he is okay with this method of communication. In fact, he gave me his number without me asking for it). I reached out to him ...
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0 votes
1 answer
118 views

How do I politely decline an internship opportunity extended to me by my former internship supervisor?

A little background about me: I am an undergraduate engineering student (graduating in June 2022) currently doing my semester of bachelors. In my penultimate year, I did a research internship with an ...
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  • 21
-2 votes
1 answer
176 views

How much should this setback be mentioned to admission committee/ potential supervisor for PhD admissions? [duplicate]

Edit 2:My question is not a duplicate of this question: Should I tell my recommendation writers about my self-studying since graduating? Should I also mention my illness and depression? because I am ...
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  • 913
2 votes
2 answers
2k views

I think my advisor wants me gone... what do I do? [closed]

I started my PhD 2 years ago and I was my supervisor's first PhD student. He had no funding for any of the projects he promised me at the time. Later, he received a grant and so I was able to switch ...
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  • 435
4 votes
2 answers
266 views

How do I go about asking my supervisor how he'll remedy a mistake with my stipend?

I'm a PhD student at a university that is in the process of evaluating updates to stipend policies and one of the students involved in providing feedback on said policy updates. During a meeting a few ...
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4 votes
2 answers
277 views

Asking an advisor about the source of their funding

I am a PhD student in a program where everyone is funded by the department by default, generally through teach, but many students are sometimes funded their advisor. The upside to being funded by your ...
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3 votes
1 answer
280 views

How to approach potential PhD advisors when you have submitted cranky looking paper?

I am a master student trying to approach potential PhD advisors in Canada. Unfortunately or not, I believe I have solved an important problem in my field. I have submitted my work to a journal, ...
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  • 1,181
17 votes
5 answers
2k views

Do I tell my teachers that I want them to change my seat because my classmates keep on telling me to sit next to them on exams and I can't say no? [closed]

I am the smartest (or nerdiest) person in my class and my classmates who I have spent a lot of my time helping during the school year, whether with homework or explaining parts they didn't understand ...
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  • 187
6 votes
1 answer
2k views

Can I recommend to a journal that an entire research group not be used as reviewers for my paper?

I have recently — and prematurely — interrupted a work relationship with a research institution, due to a series of professional/scientific disagreements. Considering that these disagreements were ...
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0 votes
1 answer
124 views

Should I find my advisor for letter of recommendation if I obtained a low grade in thesis? [closed]

I am a master student in Germany. My thesis obtain 3.0 in German grade, which is a low grade I think. My original plan is to find my advisor to write the letter of recommendation for my application to ...
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  • 1,181
2 votes
1 answer
266 views

How do I request my teacher to stop apologizing and being too nice when correcting my mistakes?

I have a teacher who honestly is a bit over the top. I like her teaching skills and appreciate being in her class. Sometimes, though, when I'm having a debate with her, she disagrees with me. Me: ...
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8 votes
3 answers
2k views

Unwelcome Communication as new Grad Student

I started a PhD program in the US in August. My supervisor didn't respond to numerous emails, copied to department staff, for a month. Finally, I got some rather hostile responses -- all caps, abusive ...
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41 votes
8 answers
12k views

How to stop a colleague from asking for my help in solving a very difficult problem?

Summary: My colleague is asking for my help in solving fundamental problem. They are having troubles on basic level, and I don't have time to guide them through it. How I can politely avoid wasting ...
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28 votes
4 answers
9k views

Asking a former supervisor if they killed my postdoc application

I received a PhD in the US a bit more than a year ago. Recently I interviewed for a postdoc position. The interview went very well, and I think there was a great match between the planned research ...
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  • 2,393
27 votes
6 answers
9k views

Should grad students accept yelling by supervisors? [closed]

In my opinion, yelling and disrespecting should not be the case between supervisor(s) and their grad students regardless of how well or poor the student is doing. Supervisors are usually holding the ...
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  • 625
3 votes
3 answers
406 views

Making friends in postgraduate education? How? [duplicate]

I'm returning to the office and haven't had the opportunity to physically meet the 10 or so people I'll be sharing it with in the coming year. Not all of them are researching the same thing as me and ...
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  • 1,121
3 votes
1 answer
604 views

What are the expectations (if any) for time between students' replies to professors' emails?

I am an undergrad student who has recently taken a course under a professor. I sent him an email last Thursday for confirmation that I will be allowed to register for his course (it has not started ...
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18 votes
8 answers
5k views

Dealing with a micromanaging instructor, as a teaching assistant

I'm a teaching assistant at a US university for a calculus class. My major duties are to write worksheets and then grade them along with the homework. I have been a TA long enough (5 years now) to ...
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3 votes
2 answers
413 views

Is there a polite way to help students improve their English, or should I not try?

I am a foreigner that learnt English as his third language. And I make mistakes all the time as a result. In general I like it when people correct me because I get to improve my English, which is ...
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1 vote
1 answer
176 views

What does it imply if my PhD supervisor is not a referee for my postdoc applications?

I feel that the communication between me and my supervisor is not clear enough to discuss my future career plans with him. Also, while discussing my progress in half-yearly meetings, he expresses ...
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0 votes
2 answers
129 views

Is asking my mentor, the post-interview opinion about my recruitment, unethical?

I recently attended an interview in which my supervisor is a panel mate. After the interview, I met my mentor and asked whether I performed well and her opinion about the interview happened. She (my ...
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  • 7,459
3 votes
1 answer
228 views

Should I continue with revisions after two reviewers accepted and one made bullying comments about the research? [duplicate]

I am in the following situation: two reviewers said it was a good investigation and suggested some changes and some new references. But a third reviewer is making bullying comments for the second ...
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3 votes
4 answers
479 views

Disagreeing with faculty coauthor as an undergraduate

I am an undergraduate who is determined to attend grad-school, and as such, I am hungry for opportunities to demonstrate my academic worth. In a recent course, my dialogue with the instructor ...
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8 votes
6 answers
5k views

Advisor will not write a recommendation letter for me to participate in a conference

There is a leading conference that will take place in Jan 2022. Graduate students are encouraged to present a poster about their thesis work, however, the slots are limited so a recommendation letter ...
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  • 935
2 votes
3 answers
222 views

Publishing without academic supervisor

I am a bachelor student and have been working for a professor since the last two years on a paper for which I was paid. All the work is mine but data belongs to him. We recently had a fallout and I no ...
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0 votes
1 answer
134 views

Declining an industry job oppurtunity

I was recently forwarded a job opening for a company with which my PI has research ties. The job role and function itself does not appeal to me. I am quite keen on applying for grad schools that are ...
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  • 23
2 votes
1 answer
455 views

Ghosted by my research collaborator: how to get them off the project?

We have been a few postdocs in a reading group on a specific research topic, sporadically meeting up (via Zoom) for over a year now. This started out of scientific curiosity and none of us is terrible ...
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  • 4,680
26 votes
8 answers
9k views

Should I avoid telling my PhD supervisor that I have started taking antidepressants (due to some issues in my personal life)?

I have not been having a good time in my personal life over the last ~9 months, and I’m currently having therapy (fortnightly) and taking antidepressants. I don’t have a depression diagnosis but I ...
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  • 465
7 votes
2 answers
458 views

How do I tactfully deal with fellow students who provide low-quality answers to my questions (which dissuades instructors from answering)?

My sister's studying at a UK university remotely because of COVID. Each course has an internal online Q&A forum for students to ask questions, and instructors or students to answer. I don't want ...
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3 votes
1 answer
282 views

MSc thesis lacking content because of my mistake

In the final month of work before writing the thesis I found a bug in something I did a couple months before. I talked to my supervisor and we checked together that indeed something was off. I took ...
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  • 31
1 vote
0 answers
152 views

How should I tell my professor that I want to quit internship that I am doing under him?

A little background about me: I am an undergraduate engineering student currently doing my internship remotely at a prestigious foreign university since January. I have been working there for almost 6 ...
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  • 21
15 votes
6 answers
9k views

How should I address racist comments from a superior?

After finishing my master’s, I applied for a couple of positions, and the first interview I was invited to was at a renowned research institution in my field. I was living in our capital at that time ...
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79 votes
10 answers
21k views

I feel like male professors don't feel comfortable taking me as a student. How should I address this problem?

It has happened in many instances in my education that my male advisors or professors get very uncomfortable around me and some refuse to take me as their student. They tell me that in a decent way, ...
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  • 935
3 votes
0 answers
460 views

How can I protect my research project from my ex-boyfriend with whom I had shared it with previously?

I am a new faculty member. My ex-boyfriend is an associate professor in a different research university but in the same field. When we were still together, I shared my research project (which I am ...
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3 votes
0 answers
258 views

How to respectfully "correct" my supervisor even though normally I'm the one who needs a lot of help?

TL;DR I have made little progress in the time I started working as a PhD student (few months) and I need a lot of help from my supervisor (the professor). I get the feeling that I - or my lack of ...
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11 votes
1 answer
1k views

How to approach my PhD advisor after failing a qualifiying exam?

I'm a first-year Ph.D. student in STEM who recently took their qualifying exams, in which we take two. I absolutely failed one and passed the other with flying colors (according to a faculty member). ...
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  • 121
22 votes
10 answers
11k views

I've developed a close relationship with my past graduate teaching assistant, and I'm very interested in her: is it appropriate to pursue this?

The graduate teaching assistant I'm interested in taught one of my introductory courses. She needed research assistants, so I decided to join her lab. From all this we became very close. Ever since ...
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2 votes
1 answer
329 views

Professor invited me to do research and I agreed, but now I am not so sure

I was invited by the professor to work with him. His area is outside of my background and I agreed because I was curious and haven't found a research area yet. After beginning to read papers and learn ...
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  • 709
1 vote
2 answers
659 views

What should I do if a Professor yells at me and a fellow student in class?

So I'm taking a storyboarding class at my college and we have a big project coming up. I've been working on it a lot and talked about the story with my professor and he seemed to really enjoy it. We'...
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  • 29
57 votes
11 answers
18k views

My PI is publicly humiliating me: Why would a PI do this and what can I do to mitigate the damage from this?

My principal investigator (PI) and I tend to get along pretty well; however, he is often moody and has some quirks about him. Sometimes this means that he is in a bad mood and will take it out on me. ...
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