This question is similar to ones about accepted papers not being presented; however, one thing that other answers fail to mention is how to list the paper in your CV. Quite simply what is the appropriate way to list an unpresented paper where you are are a) solo author, or b) a co-author?
The paper does appear in the proceedings
Its appearance in the proceedings makes it a publication, so you can (and should) include it in your list of publications.
If you separately list your conference presentations, you can't include this paper in that list, because you didn't present it. Similarly, if your list of conference publications indicates which papers you presented [for example, by writing "(presented)" or making the presenting author's name bold], you can't give that indication for this paper, because you didn't present it.
where you are are a) solo author, or b) a co-author?
This is irrelevant. The publication list in your CV should list all authors of each paper, ideally in the exact order they appear on the paper's title page.
tl;dr: Just tell the truth.
I am mainly going to answer what would I do in such a case.
IEEE allows the author to upload accepted version of paper in authors personal webpage. (I have one, so I will upload it. You can do it as well if you have one. Otherwise, upload a copy in Researchgate or arXiv).
After doing that, I will update my CV.
R. Varadharajan, Title of the paper, Proceedings of IEEE, 2017. (Accepted, Preprint can be downloaded at [URL]).