I am a 2nd year PhD student.
I regret my choice of grad school severely. The program here has a good reputation and I have no idea how or why it has a good reputation. The program here is absolutely terrible. The location is terrible and depressing, classes are completely useless, the qual system is really terrible (I passed them, I still think the way they're done is awful), most of my cohort are petty and childish (although I've found a few very good people here who I'm super grateful for), I have no support basically. I have met many people in the department that feel the same way: ranging from other grad students to professors.
This program is awful and coming here was one of the worst decisions of my life. I had other good programs I could have gone to.
I've found it much harder to read/do problems/etc. I barely do enough work just to pass classes. I try to focus on the stuff I want to do, but it seems like just by being here the subject is tainted.
Last night I found a problem online I tried working out but couldn't. I spent all day today - I barely ate, I didn't do anything else, I just worked all day long on this stupid problem that had nothing to do with anything. It was a blast! It reminded me of why I love my subject. I failed to find a solution...but it was still very productive and I learned a lot. I let myself get obsessed and I didn't worry about all the issues here.
How do I keep this feeling? How do I stay motivated? The department here feels like it saps all of my will to do any work out. In undergrad I was so determined. I took some time off between undergrad and grad and it only made me more determined. I want to feel like I did today.
I looked into transferring into other programs but it seemed like it would be a huge pain and I've been able to make it through the worst part of the program pretty quickly.