Should I decline to fill out a recommendation form after saying that I will do it?

Question

I received an email from a student today. The email said that she was applying to a program, and that she needed her professors to fill out a recommendation form. She added that it shouldn't take long, because it should be easy to fill out. The deadline is exactly a week from today.

I am currently away from my institution, and will not return until her deadline, so this already puts me in a tight spot. She was also a weak student, maybe in the top half, but by no means a memorable one.

So I replied very quickly to her email (within 30 minutes of receiving her email), telling her that 1) if it's just the form, I can do it in a week; 2) if she needs a letter, I cannot write her a good letter within a week; and 3) overall, although if she insists I will do the job, she is advised to ask someone else for a letter.

She responded in a half-sentence, saying "it's just the form" So I asked her to send me her CV, transcript, and any relevant application materials. She has not responded yet.

I made a mistake here, though, because I was so busy that I did not open her attachment, thinking that if it's just a form, it should be easy to fill out. Now that I opened the form, I realized that I have seen this form before. I have already filled out this form for another student, and furthermore, I have written a detailed letter for her, because the form has an "additional comments" section that is very short (that I assumed had to be interpreted as a recommendation letter). I even asked about this letter here: Should I write that a student is a feminist in my recommendation letter?

So now I am facing some tough choices.

Should I still agree to just fill out the form for her? Given that I have already written a strong letter of support for another student on top of the recommendation form, this will be a death sentence to this other student's application since her grades on the form will be lower, and she will not have a letter to supplement it (however, the first student is a lot stronger in every dimension that I am qualified to assess them on).

I could email the student again, and tell her that because of the above reason, I cannot even fill out the form because it is too weak and that she will surely not get in.

Or, I could just do a half-assed job of writing a recommendation letter for this student as well, although the letter will have to be very generic and neutral, as I have none of her application materials, I do not remember her well, and I am also pressed for time since I am at a conference all week. Even physically sending the letter will be a pain since I do not get back until the day of the deadline.

So I am once again turning to you, hoping that I can get some quick answers (if I decline to write the letter, I had better let her know soon, so that she can find someone else). What should I do?

Answer 1

You seem really to be overthinking this. You're writing a recommendation -- you're not the student's full-time advocate or cheerleader. Fill in the form, send it in, be done. If you want, to mirror the structure of the other student's application, write a supplemental letter also for this one, just a paragraph or so -- shorter than what you've spent time on in your question here!

By the way: there is nothing at all wrong with having your recommendation for one student look worse than another's if you believe the former is actually worse for the program than the latter. In fact, I've often explicitly written on recommendations that A and B are both applying, and that A is stronger than B. Your job is to help provide an assessment with which the program can make a fair choice among applicants.

Answer 2

In my opinion, you should do the best you can within the time constraints to write her a supplementary letter, making as strong a case you can while still being honest. Here are a few points informing this opinion:

1. There's nothing ethically wrong with giving the obvious impression that you think one student is better than another, while supporting both.

2. Having said that, if you give one student an "extra" letter and not the other, it could be interpreted as a signal that you specifically don't think the weaker student deserves to be selected.

3. You already suggested that she ask someone else, and she hasn't, which probably means you're her best option.

Alternatively, you could try to find the email address of someone involved with this application process, explain the entire situation to them, and ask for guidance.

Answer 3

Presumably, she already knows what her grades are, you did not promise to make any claims that were not true but you did promise to write the recommendation. The time to say no because you don't think she's a strong candidate or because you're too busy was when she asked and before you said yes. Similarly, you don't get a pass because you don't read email or attachments.

Let her know that, on reflection, you're concerned that your recommendation won't be as strong as either of you might like and offer her the opportunity to choose a difference reference. But be prepared to learn that you're as good a reference as she's got and that you will have to write the best recommendation that can be supported by the truth, no matter how much you'd like to get out of it. You promised, so keep your promise.

One way of doing this without stretching the truth or saying anything she might not expect is to focus on reporting facts rather than opinions, e.g., the actual grades and ranks in the classes she took with you and descriptions of the assignments she did for you.

Learn from this and think first next time before saying yes.

Answer 4

No idea if this is helpful, but how about:

Fill in the form, and add in the comments box that you intend to write an additional letter (as you did previously) but cannot get it done in time for the deadline because you're at the conference. Send the letter a few days later.

Answer 5

I believe the standard response when you don't feel able to write a strong recommendation letter is to say, "I don't feel I know your work well enough to write a strong recommendation, and you would be best served by finding someone who knows your work better than I do." Or something to that effect.

When a student receives this somewhat coded response, she can say Thanks anyway, and approach someone else, or she can try a little harder with you. At which point you could either stand your ground, or relent and write her a lukewarm letter.

What complicates your current situation is that you already said yes, and now you are trying to figure out if you can, and should, back-pedal.

The options available to you, that I can see, are:

1. Back-pedal, and send her the above message. You could apologize for sending an incomplete response previously, having glanced at her email in a cursory way without really taking it in before responding. Or whatever excuse you care to give.

2. Tell a white lie. Apologize and explain that your week has gotten more complicated than you anticipated, and you're not going to have time to do her form. If you choose this one, the email you send must be very brief and apologetic, and should contain a couple of spelling mistakes, to look authentic.

3. Invent an illness or an illness in your family that prevents you from making her deadline. This is a variant of option 2.

4. Tell her honestly that when you agreed to do it, you thought the form was going to be shorter than it turned out to be. Explain that you had not opened the attachment until now. Point out the "comments" question. Explain that you don't know her well enough to tackle that question, or explain that you don't have enough time to do anything more than check off boxes and fill out short response questions.

5. Proceed with filling out the form, knowing that your recommendation will not be very strong. Do not say anything to the student about how lukewarm your recommendation will be. Remember that this is not the only program she will ever apply to, and your responses in the form are unlikely to change the outcome of her application one way or the other.

As you are considering your options, you may want to try to apply the Golden Rule. In other words, what would you want Prof. Sana to do if you were Prof. Sana's less-than-stellar student?

What do you think would be most helpful to this student in the long term? You know more about this than we do, because one can only fit so much into a post, about the student's potential, temperament, ambitions, reasons for a mediocre performance, and hopes and dreams for herself.