I am a female PhD student, studying computer science at a top school in the heart of Silicon Valley. I have a wonderful boyfriend who probably never wants to leave the Bay Area because he is (a) a software engineer, and (b) owns a very expensive house. So if I go into academia I probably have to break up with him, and I think I would encounter similar problems with almost any other guy I date.
Would it be better to get married and take a nice job in industry, or go into academia and never date anyone? I only sort of want to go into academia, but I can't shake the nagging feeling of being limited. It's like a voice in my head saying "you could be so much more successful, if you wanted to." I do not want to be like the other ambitious women who reach a glass ceiling and have to compromise on their ambitions because of their partners.