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I am a Front-End Developer with several years of experience as well as I have my B.S. in Computer Science. I am doing research and pursuing my MS in Computer Science. However, I am somewhat struggling to word my career objective correctly and in a fashion in which I could be considered for admittance into Grad School. How could this snippet be modified to accomplish the goal while remaining under 150 characters

I've been interested in computers from a young age. Xxxxxxx Xxxx offers a great program to further pursue my education and passion for computing.

closed as off-topic by jakebeal, S. Kolassa - Reinstate Monica, vonbrand, Brian Borchers, RoboKaren Feb 2 '16 at 3:45

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  • I would drop all the background in favor of just "I have been interested in computers and how they operate since I was 10.". That will leave more words for your career objective. – Patricia Shanahan Feb 1 '16 at 20:41
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The snippet doesn't state an objective. It's just a personal story about how you got into computers, but it doesn't say what you want to achieve (by pursuing an MS).

What you did when you were ten is unlikely to interest reviewers. Perhaps say "I've been interested in computers from a young age" but right now you're wasting a lot of characters on a lot of fluff. Perhaps you should leave this out entirely, unless how you got into computers from an early age is relevant to your current goals.

Also, try to narrow down your interests a bit. They're more likely to care about somebody who wants to passionately investigate a specific topic rather than someone who declares they're interested in just about everything. Again, consider leaving your interests out entirely unless they're relevant to your objective.

  • Ok, I can work on that. Thanks for the great advice! Also, I was basing this general idea from this article, where it was stated to make it very personal. uni.edu/~gotera/gradapp/stmtpurpose.htm I will definitely revise and focus more on future topics. – marcwebdude Feb 1 '16 at 21:50
  • I have updated the snippet. Thank you for your help with this :) – marcwebdude Feb 1 '16 at 22:02

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