Since High School, I have cheated a lot in exams. But in college it became a habit and I developed successful ways of doing it, without getting caught throughout first and second year. But I eventually got caught, and I feel horrible about it, it was the most humiliating thing ever, but I guess karma comes to us all.
A lot of the other students know that I've cheated a lot throughout the course and lost respect for me, so they'll be happy now. This time, I cheated in the same way that has worked a lot for me in the past. I recorded full essays on my phone, put it in my pocket with earphones hidden up my jumper and sleeves, and I rested my head on my hand with the earbud in my ear, listening to the recorded material. I knew early on that this invigilator was more wary of my body language than any others have been before, she was a lot younger than any others and probably more alert about technology. I became a bit unsettled, and she noticed that as well. When the first essay finished, I put my arm down and she immediately came over to me and investigated me. My major mistake this time was that, instead of putting my phone in my pocket and covering the wire with my jumper, I had it between my legs with the wire sticking down the middle of my trousers. She saw the wire, bent down and pointed at it asking 'what's this?' then rolled up my sleeve and found the ear socket inside. I was busted, so I gave her my phone and earphones, then she took my paper of me and gave me a new one to restart. It wasn't subtle, the whole class knew about it and I saw a lot of them turning around to look at me. She then phoned her invigilator boss and told her about it to make sure she handled it correctly, and she said clearly 'I just caught a student cheating' in front of everyone. I just sat there for the rest of the time, not knowing anything because I didn't study for it, and wrote a letter to the marker about it. At the end, everyone left the room staring at me while she took a photo of the evidence.
I burst into tears when I was left with the invigilator on my own, and she told me to speak to my tutor. He told me that I'd fail the module, and I emailed the programme leader about it, who said he would wait for the invigilator's report. I think I'm going to have to go through a disciplinary hearing, but I have to protect myself. I can't admit that I've cheated in just about every exam in the three years I've been there, I'll have to say that this was a one off thing because of personal problems and lack of preparation.
But it's not a good feeling having a conscience guilty of such dishonesty, and more lies to tell. I can't get expelled from the course, because I want to get my degree, but I'll deal with failing the module and having a disciplinary record.
Am I just an evil person by nature? I know I don't deserve to be on the course having not been caught so many times, yet I'm doing everything I can to stay. A lot of people say honesty is the best policy, but I don't believe that is true within the business of living and getting success.
Also, how will a disciplinary record affect my future? Will employers/other education institutions know of it after I leave?