I'm on the job market this fall (will earn my Ph.D. this spring), and have culled a list of open positions I would like to apply for. I'd like to talk to my advisor about this soon in regards to recommendation letters, as well as for their own information. I'm at a big US research university with an untenured advisor who would also like us all to be at an R1 school or doing research in industry when we graduate. However, my preference is for small teaching schools or lecturing positions, and my list reflects that. Additionally, I have a spouse with a Ph.D., and we will be prioritizing my spouse's job for personal reasons.
I'm among the first to graduate from my group this year. We've all been vague about our job aspirations in previous years, since we've learned that our preferences would often be discounted and it wasn't worth the argument. I don't anticipate anything drastic in this discussion, but I would like to be respectful in conveying the information while still getting across my point that I won't be applying to anywhere my advisor would be happy with.
Any recommendations on how to approach this discussion? Tips on how much to share on what's influencing my/our decisions would be helpful too.