EDIT: I already mentiond this in the last paragraph of the original question, but the most voted answer so far seems to ignore the point: This is explicitely not about the (frequent) case that the fault (directly or indirectly, e.g. by not having stated the point clear enough) lies with the one being criticized.I am fully aware of this and generally agree with the "the reviewer is always right even if they are wrong" mindset. But what to do in those cases where the failt actually lies with the critic ?. Not necessarily due to bad intentions or incompetence but due to them simpley not having allocated enough time for the review (which is common, given the heavy total load of work )
Common situation: Certain aspects of my work are criticized and changes are suggested: So far, so good and desirable—nothing helps more than constructive criticism.
However, in my experience, it is not uncommon that the reason for the criticism is the critic's lack of understanding or that they have not read all of the work thourougly enough.
This puts me in a dilemma. On the one hand, in my experience, expressing disagreement "from below to above" always causes a certain degree of tension and generally worsens interpersonal relationships (e.g., between supervisor and student). Reviewers may (even unconsciously) become even more biased against the paper than they already were. I know this from my own experience when I am in the "formally superior" position, e.g., when supervising bachelor’s theses. Despite all efforts to maintain well-intentioned objectivity "on equal footing," I notice how criticism from the "subordinate" makes them at least subconsciously less likeable to me.
On the other hand, I can't simply say: "Yes, of course you're right, I'll make the changes", especially when these are changes that I believe are counterproductive and, for example, would reduce the chances of the paper being accepted rather than improving them.
How should one handle this dilemma?
To preempt the most obvious objection: Yes, I am 100% aware that I, too, can be wrong, and that I may be the one not understanding the criticism. But that's not the point here. For the sake of this particular question, let's just assume that the misunderstanding does lie with the critics.