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Low point in my career pathway for getting into academia

I am a 23 year old student in India who has aspired always to get into academia. I very recently graduated from a decent institution in India and with a Masters in Biotechnology and am currently at probably one of the most difficult phases in my career, 'Getting admission into a PhD in a foreign country'. I am also currently employed at a local pharmacy college near my home town where I generally do minor research work and also teach second year undergraduate pharmacy students. For the past week, I have failed multiple times and I feel really frustated:

Here's two incidents that happened with me for the past 5 days:

  1. I applied to a university for a PhD and got shortlisted for an interview with a professor. I didn't even mention this professor's name on my statement of purpose but still be agreed to interview me after my profile was shared with him. Interview went really well and he somewhat told me that he was seriously considering keeping me as a PhD scholar in his lab. 1 and a half months after the interview, the university sends me an acceptance, however on the acceptance the university said that they couldn't provide me with a financial assistance, which is given to most PhD scholars and without which it was difficult for me to fund my studies. I again contacted the professor who was interested and was assigned to me, and he said that he maybe able to provide the stipend but not a tuition assistance. This made me leave all hopes of going there.

Three weeks after this incident, the professor e mailed me again that he will be able to cover my expenses i.e full tuition+monthly stipend. I got my hopes high again and contacted the admissions office and requested them for an I 20 form which would be required for my visa approval to attend the uni. Admissions committee told me that they required to see a letter of financial assistance from my guide and requested me to contact my guide again. I contacted him and requested him the letter. After a month of requesting and two followups placed two weeks apart, he responded back to me and also CCed the admissions committee telling that the grant he secured can only be used to fund students of the medical school and not PhD students, hence he can't keep me as a student anymore.

2.This incident happened on last Thursday and it took some time for me to dust myself off the ground and try again. Monday morning was supposed to be a fresh start, when again I received an email of rejection from a journal where I sent my paper in. All the reviewers gave a very low priority rating to my paper. I feel like my name is a bad omen to any type of academic materials

I know that these things maybe common to anyone in their journey towards academia but I am really feeling depressed and desperate. I feel like I am again back to square one and have to redo everything again

I will be really glad if anyone is able to provide me with suggestions of how to get out of this frustration and low.

I hope this reaches the right people

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    Please clarify your specific problem or provide additional details to highlight exactly what you need. As it's currently written, it's hard to tell exactly what you're asking.
    – Community Bot
    Sep 25 at 7:14
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    It's not quite clear what you are asking but my very general advice is to keep trying. All researchers experience rejection and disappointment regularly (but also acceptance and joy!). Having held an offer that only fell through due to financial regulations is a very good sign.
    – Theoretician
    Sep 25 at 7:17
  • @Theoretician thanks really needed this..
    – Biohub
    Sep 25 at 7:42
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    @Biohub Could you please e-mail me your CV? I have a friend who is a professor of biomedical physics / biomedical engineering at a good school in the US. While the chances are not very high, it certainly won't hurt to show him your CV . You will find my address on my webpage. [PS. His first question will be if the candidate has taken the introductory courses in physics -- mechanics, electricity, etc. If you have, you may want to highlight this in your CV.]
    – Michael_1812
    Sep 25 at 13:45
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    @Michael_1812 Thank you so much for commenting and your help. I will surely email my CV to you
    – Biohub
    Sep 25 at 17:10

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I feel like my name is a bad omen to any type of academic materials

Avoid this kind of thinking; your brain is inventing fallacious reasons why you're experiencing the misfortune you're in now, clouding your sights and hindering your way forward. Try to look at the situation as objectively as possible, and for this you need a clear mind.

I will be really glad if anyone is able to provide me with suggestions of how to get out of this frustration and low.

You need an outlet to release those bottled worries. Seek professional counselling if you can afford it. Talk to relatives whom you're comfortable opening up. Hang out with your close peers; you can share them your worries, but I find this is not always necessary—just the act of being with them already relieves stress. My personal favorite is journaling. If you felt some relief after writing your post, then this maybe for you.

I feel like I am again back to square one and have to redo everything again

Failing and starting again is a sad reality that all of us need to get used to in our adult life. I can't advice specific to your circumstances, but what I can say you need to develop a resilient mindset and stubbornness not to get defeated by depression. Get all the help that you can. You will not magically figure out everything in one night, but if you keep trying and solve one problem at a time you gain the motivation to solve the next.

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