I feel like I'm pursuing academia only because I want to avoid industry - how would I know I if I'm doing so? [closed]

Question

I've posted a few questions regarding research and I'm trying to make my progress on a project more fruitful, and while the answers/comments have been quite helpful, it still doesn't seem like I am really enjoying the process - I have a hard time in following through with the advice and getting myself to work, and it seems like I'm asking questions trying to treat symptoms but not the root cause.

For me, it seems like I want a career in academia or something research-based because I don't really want to end up in industry (more specifically, I don't want to end up as a software engineer). But at the same time, I also don't feel I have enough interest and knowledge in my current project to push myself forward.

I've done a small (software) internship for a startup, did some "research" which was closer to software work where I helped visualize some data into a website, and now have an internship for a larger tech company this summer. I found the tasks I had in my previous experiences to be not very interesting or stimulating, so industry did not seem to appeal to me (though maybe things will change this summer). However, when I speak to professors during office hours, or family members with graduate degrees, and talk to them about their work it resonates more with me. So I've definitely found more interest in academia, or so it seems.

The problem is that it seems like my interest stops there - I like talking about academia/research work but am less motivated to put in the work in my classes and research. In the case of academics, I can warm up to a book about a topic I'm learning about over time provided there isn't much time pressure, but research is a different beast. I find that I keep putting my research on the back burner, and once I got my position, getting started on anything is hard, to say the least.

This conflict is why I'm feeling that I might be gaslighting myself by accident.

At this point, I feel like I'm the stereotypical parent in YouTube skits where they say that the kid needs to grow up to be a "doctor, lawyer, engineer, or failure", except I'm doing this to myself. Is there any way that could help me determine if I am truly wanting a career in academia or if I've just convinced myself that I do?

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For context, my previous questions dealt with external factors that do seem to be making it harder. Having to deal with extraneous tasks and other commitments makes being able to find joy in learning hard (and finding time to work on research far harder), and a lack of supervision and deadline in my research project means I can let the inertia keeping me from work fester. I don't have access to a time machine or some way to tweak personal parameters so I wouldn't know how things would be if those roadblocks were removed, but it doesn't seem like those are the root cause - if I had more passion, then I feel like I could find a way around them.

I'm really not sure where I'm going with this question, so if it's against the rules or off-topic in some way, feel free to close this, but if not, advice would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

For me it looks like you should do something to find out more about yourself. This could be something like meditation, learn more about self awareness, counselling.

You are asking a question that ultimately only you yourself can answer. You need to take responsibility for yourself and decide whether this is where you want to go, and if not, where else. There are techniques to improve your awareness for yourself, your feelings, and what drives you, and I suggest you try to find out about them.

Answer 2

You're presumably in your 20s.

You have many, many potential career years left.

This isn't a choice you have to make now and absolutely stick to. You can go get a job in industry, and if it doesn't work out return to acadaemia. You could also do the opposite, stick it out in acadaemia and if that doesn't work out go explore industry.

At this point in your life, there's not a huge amount of detriment or risk there as it's not like you'd be moving from a senior position in one to a junior position in the other: both would likely be junior.

This cost will go up as you progress, so I'd suggest experimenting sooner rather than later to see what actually works for you.

Answer 3

For context, I am currently also standing before the decision whether to stay in academia or leave. Which is why I am contemplating similar points.

A way I like to think about job decisions is in terms of two factors.

1. The abstract image of the job: Maybe you find this kind of work important. Or its a role you would like to see yourself in (e.g. the prestige of being a professor). Or you just like the end-result, (e.g. you value knowledge and would be proud to write a standard textbook at some point).
2. The day-to-day reality of the job: In short, you might enjoy the daily tasks of the job. They come easy to you and you feel you are doing it well.

A job that fits well should have a good mix of these factors (imho).
To me, it seems that research scores high on 1. for you, but not so high on 2. And your internal conflict comes from a conflict of these two points.

This is, I think, not uncommon, because everyone hears something about the findings of research, but only few actually produce these findings.
To me, it is very hard to work independently on projects that take a long time to be completed. Its hard to achieve such a high level of quality (as it is required in research) by myself. But that is okay. In the end these decisions are up to personal preference.

Answer 4

There's already plenty of general "academia vs. industry" advice answers on this site, not to mention the internet in general, so I won't go into that too much. I'll try to be as specific as possible to the question.

The way you've phrased things strikes me as more poetic or dramatic than practical. You are creating an artistically pleasing description of your pathos, but you are not effectively moving towards settling the question of which type of career you should do.

To answer something like that, one wouldn't start by asking emotionally loaded questions like "am I only doing X to avoid Y". You would start with a simple "should I do X or Y?" This would lead you to the helpful "what appeals to me about X? about Y?". You would then balance this against the obvious "I have already been doing X, but what would be the cost of trying Y?".

Since you speak of talking to professors during office hours, rather than outside of them, you are surely a student and not faculty. You can easily spend a year or three working in the industry and see if you really like it better. It would be minimally disruptive to your aspirations in either career. Having done both, I can tell you the industry is less complicated than academia, you can definitely get a good idea after 1-3 years. This would be the most direct way to settle your issue.

While it's not hard to switch from academia to industry, it is still non-trivial. For one, you will have to learn how to interview well. Another, you will have to get used to people who don't have anywhere near the technical knowledge you do, don't want to learn, and just want you to "summarize it" or "explain like I'm 5". Both of these things can be learned fairly quickly, you should look for the relevant resources (too many to list here).

The obverse, switching from industry to academia, can be harder but is not as difficult as people make it out to be. Especially for a student it is not a big deal. You can also be proactive and discuss it with your advisor, and perhaps he might be able to help arrange a "soft landing" for you if/when you do return - like hiring you as a postdoc so you can freshen up your academic CV.

I'll also note that it's important to distinguish between consuming the fruits of a labor and doing the labor itself. Not every foodie's calling is to be a cook. Libraries are free, you can read and talk about the latest research no matter what job you do. This should not be the basis of your decision. Rather, to decide if you'd be happy in academic research, you should look at the key activities of the academic researcher and how they relate to you. I would say these are things like writing papers, writing grants, coming up with novel research projects and so on.

And lastly, don't base your opinion of the industry on one boring internship you had. Internships are often boring. Remember that job interviews go both ways - you should absolutely be asking what sort of work you would be expected to do, and if they fail to convince you that it will be interesting, you can absolutely decline the job. Of course, this assumes that you are employable enough that you can choose from multiple job opportunities, but if you are not, it is probably unwise to be in the industry to begin with (this, keeping in mind my previous point about learning to interview well).

Answer 5

you didn't write where you live or your age, but I guess you are between 20 and 25.

First of all, in my opinion, you should better understand what you want from your life and since it looks like you struggle to achieve it by yourself, a psychotherapist would really help a lot.

Then you need to speed-up your choices.

Consider that you will hardly find the dream job, so for sure there will be something you will not like in your daily routine. we don't live in a fantasy world. So if you decide to leave academia, the sooner the better, because industry it's a completely different world, and the more you push it away, the worst will be.

A lot of people working in academia will downvote me, but I tried both, and academia is like kindergarden if compared with industry. You have deadlines yes, but nobody will fire you, you have plenty of time to develop projects, not a lot of pressure, etc..

So going to the industry will be a big jump, but also rewarding.

You just need to decide fast, because it's very unlikely that someone will want to hire a 30 years old software engineer with ZERO experience in the industry. Unless you want to start from very low in the hierarchy. It depends a lot on the country you work in, but I think it could be true in many cases.

I hope I didn't sound too harsh, you just need a bit of help and you will find your way without any issue.

Answer 6

I had a similar internal conflict while working on my PhD. After my PhD and my first post-doc, I thought I hated research so much that I tried teaching at a small school. After a few semesters of teaching, I even got into one of those boot camps that connect you with industry jobs. And somehow I felt that it wasn't for me (industry I mean). I ended up accepting a research position in something slightly irrelevant to my PhD and somehow things took off for me (a bit).

So I think a small change in direction might help. Whatever it is you do, it might help finding topics or areas of research, related to what you know, and work on them. Something you find cool or interesting. Try them for a little bit and see.

Another thing I realized, after getting my current research job, is that despite feeling uncomfortable with research at times, I was always willing to do the work, i.e., I never really gave up on it completely.

Answer 7

From your description it looks like you are just starting your career. At this point it is normal to feel overwhelmed by difficult tasks, big projects and so on. Even so, when it seems you are left with less guidance than usual as described in one of your previous questions.

My suggestion would be to wait and see. Do the internship, continue with your studies and choose. After some time, if you don't like your choice, you can always reassess and make a move in the direction you then perceive as more likeable.

Answer 8

your question is very interesting actually.

I will give you my view on this based on my experience. I am a 2nd year PhD student at the university in Central Europe. I finished my master degree in 2017 and graduated in 2018. But decided to apply for PhD programme in 2021.

For the last 5-6 years i have also been working in the same office (industry). Of course because of my involvment in academic area my agreement needed to be changed. Actually I do not know any PhD student who do not work in an industry overall. It is because of economical factors and small scholarships that we get from university and government. Everyone of my PhD friends work somewhere ( either in the industry or in other schools as assistants or wherever).

My point is that I did not want to be only an academic. Theory and experiments ( academia) are not taken 'seriously' in my field. That is why I still pursue my daily job. I can not think of myself only as a theorist but also an active do-er and creator.

For me the 'practice' is pretty important as well as cooperation with workmates at the office. I know after finishing my PhD i would continue working in my industry but also I would like to work in academia part time.

For me you should not leave academia but maybe try to be more open for your industry. It would be good to work part time in your professional field or get some internship.

Sometimes it gets difficult when you focus only on 'one thing'. You need to have perspectives from other people - not only theorists and researchers.

I do not know how old you are but basing your career on academia and research is not enough in my opinion. What if in 2-3 years you would definitely leave academia and you will have no working experience? I think in 21 century people need to be very flexible.

I know that PhD process is difficult and it takes so much time to think and do experiments... But you can not get stuck in 'one thing' as I said before.

For your general career I would suggest to get an internship or a part time job in your industry. You will need to decide then or pursue both ( in my opinion its the best option).

I hope it works. I cross fingers for you :)

Answer 9

Is there other non-academic work you would enjoy? Just as an English major doesn't have to become an author and could work for a software company, you could apply for work at a company that does something you're interested in besides software.
And if you decide that what you're doing now is better than anything else you could think of, then it makes sense to keep doing it.

Answer 10

This is an important question that I wish more people thought about before attempting an academic career. Try approaching it with this question:

Suppose you wake up this morning, check your email and see an urgent message about something that went badly wrong yesterday. The problem is serious and fixing it is going to take a long time. Do you dread going to work?

An academic example of such a problem could be that you published a proof of X, and then someone found what looks at first glance like a critical error in your proof.

If you dread to going to work, you might want to do something else. Otherwise, you're good.