I have just realized that my PhD supervisor is probably going to provide a bad recommandation letter? How can I stop him?

Question

I spent the last 7 months looking for a postdoc after my PhD graduation. My toxic PhD advisor killed my previous postdoc, as they have withdrawn their offer after his non-negative but not enough positive input. I thought seriously about removing him from my reference list, but it was unavoidable as my other references know him and always mention him as being the one that knows me the best while submitting their own letters of recommendation.

I sent him two emails asking him for a meeting at his office about a month ago to discuss his negative input and to sort out things, but he never answered. He thinks that I am not aware that he sabotaged that other postdoc opportunity. I am currently applying to a better postdoc position, and I stupidly included him again as a reference. I sent a fresh email thanking him in advance for the support he is willing to provide by writing that letter, and again I got no answer at all. I am afraid now he would do the same thing for that position.

How can I stop him from sending his letter, and what can I do in case he also kills my changes for that position? By the way, the other two references have already submitted their references, and they are both positive.

Answer 1

There are a number of questions on this site from graduating students who have a toxic relationship with their advisor and as a result feel the advisor can’t or won’t write them a good letter of recommendation, and want to know how they can still move forward with their academic careers.

The standard answer for this seems to be to not include a letter from the advisor, but to carefully and as diplomatically as possible explain in your job applications why you are not including such a letter. This has some chance of working, since people in academia are generally aware that not all advisors are as professional, ethical, and diligent about advocating for their students as they should be.

If you have already given the name of the advisor as a reference, I can only suggest to contact the employers you applied to and ask to remove the adviser from the list of references and to ignore any letter received from them. Provide an alternative reference if possible. And again, you’ll need to write a pretty compelling explanation of why your adviser’s reference should not be treated as a good faith, honest reference. The point is that the mere fact that you expect their letter would be negative, or not positive enough, is not sufficient, since from the employer’s point of view there is no reason to think that a negative recommendation is less credible than a positive one. You need to find a way to help them see that it’s the positive (hopefully very positive) things that your other references will write about you that represent the “real” you. This of course depends greatly on the details of the situation with your adviser, so I can’t give more specific advice. But that’s the general approach that I think I’d recommend following. Either that, or find a way to quickly mend your relationship with the adviser so that they’ll be inclined to write a more positive (and more truthful) letter. Good luck!

Answer 2

We are just anonymous people on the internet, we know only your side of the story, so apologizes if maybe I am missing your point.

The bad news is that you have a difficult path in front of you, the good news is that you already survived your PhD in such an unfriendly environment to you, so the difficult path will be a tad easier.

You got your PhD, you completed this huge building block, but now you need to start from scratch, you will sail among peers in treacherous sea, better alone than in bad company, stop thinking the link to your advisor will help you in any form, he already showed you he will not. The only way he may help you, via his reputation, is already present: if his name is of any help, it already stands on your thesis, so that is enough.

I suggest to get in touch personally with researcher in your area. It was hard before covid, it was harder during covid, now it is halfway beetwen hard and harder. Best way is to attend a conference, a symposium, even a workshop lasting 3 or more days. To get you in the right mood, present a poster. If you do not manage to get your old advisor funding the trip, pay it with your money (consider it an investment). Once there, get in touch with researchers. During the formal moment, try to gather as much scientifical inforamtions about reserarch challenging your advisor work (you need a fresh restart on your knowledge, to clean yourself from the toxic relation, maybe you will discover his contributions are scientifically crap. Or marvellous, who cares, the goal is to rebuild the scientific image you have of your advisor, and forget about them as person).

At informal moments, try to get in touch with former students of your advisor. Ask them how was their experience From what you describe, it is likely that your advisor behaved similarly in the past. Ask them for advice. Ask them for openings.

In short: you only need 6 months of contracts with someone else, to replace your advisor from your referee's list. If you really want to stay in the academia, be open, any position will help you, do compromise on the location, even on the topic of your future position.