I am a first-year Physics student and I decide to challenge myself by taking a Math course that's well above my level. I was doing pretty well during the first half of the semester with offline lectures and was averaging an A. Until another wave of Covid hit and I have to spend the rest of the semester online.
My mental health was failing toward the end of the semester, I could clearly feel it as my insomnia and trichotillomania got worst day by day. I refuse to study and just listen to podcasts every day, and since it is my first year I barely have the chance to actually make any study group or have any friends that study with me. The day of my finals is the day I decide to make such poor a decision of using an online help website to aid with my exams, which I am clearly not proud of. After the exam, I deemed it as failed because I gain very little knowledge and also because of my dishonest action.
As expected, I received an email regarding my academic misconduct 2 days later, as such, I wrote an email back to them admitting my mistake, apologies, and accepting repercussions. In a few days, I receive an email that states that my grade will be deducted (Which result in a failure), and this decision will be recorded in the Register of Academic Misconduct.
At present, all I could feel is resentment and disappointment toward myself. I'm nowhere near as gifted as my peers in the field but I'm trying to stay firm on this path. I'm aware that academic dishonesty is a serious thing and my future career could be damaged by this incident. What should I do during the next few years of my study? Because I know this is just going to get worst and I know that I can't continue if I don't change. Furthermore, how much damage will a record of academic misconduct have to my academic career? And will I be able to continue in the future? Thank you for reading and sharing.