I rejected a really good PhD offer for another offer, but now I feel guilty and I want to join the first one. I know that the situation may be irreversible due to the fact that it has been passed 1month (but the position still remains open, as I saw in website).

I know that a made a terrible mistake.

Do you have any recommendation to help me?

Thank you

  • 2
    There is no harm in asking, is there? The chances of success will depend on different aspects (how you communicated with the people involved so far, how such positions are usually filled in the country you live, if other candidates have applied, etc.). Commented Sep 22, 2021 at 18:41
  • I am confused about the word “guilty” in this question.
    – Dawn
    Commented Sep 22, 2021 at 21:25

1 Answer 1


There are actually two issues if you have accepted another offer. You need to turn down one to accept the other. That will cause disruption at the place you accepted and, depending on timing, possibly leave a position open there.

But, you can ask, certainly. Both places need to agree.

I'll suspect, however, that it is just a case of "buyer's remorse". You had reasons, in the past for your decisions. They are most likely still valid. If so, you would probably turn out fine if you just let it go and stay with the one you accepted.

Buyer's Remorse: I bought the Ferrari, but shoulda got the Lambo.

  • 2
    "You had reasons, in the past for your decisions. They are most likely still valid." - this is the question that OP needs to ask - are these reasons still valid? I am not sure I agree with the "let it go", because it is not clear what caused OP to change opinion, and without information, I feel there can be no conclusion. But Buffy's test is the absolutely correct one: +1 for this sentence alone. Commented Sep 22, 2021 at 19:05
  • I would certainly make sure you can still obtain the rejected position BEFORE 'leaving' the one that you accepted. If they allow you to accept it, I personally feel this is OK, and you inform the other employer, if not, your other employer doesn't need to know about it. Commented Sep 22, 2021 at 20:38

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