I've grown to realise that despite being nearly a year in, I've made little (if any) progress towards completing my objectives and it feels like I'm working in a vacuum since I'm not allowed back on campus thanks to covid. Lifeless and unproductive zoom meetings punctuate days spent staring at articles and screens. It's also very lonely since I'm the only PhD student in the group.
I feel as if I'm at the lowest point I've ever been at- the deeper I delve into the research area the more I realise it's simply not interesting to me. I also feel as if I don't have a very good relationship with my supervisor since all they seem to do is bark orders and criticise me rather than hold productive conversations. It feels as if every supervision meeting is a chore to them and that I'm preventing them from doing their research. I had a meeting last Monday that nearly made me burst into tears after they criticised the code I've spend 4 months writing and working on (with no feedback).
After recently attending a 3 week conference searon I'm even further convinced I've made a grave mistake picking this research area since not a single talk grabbed my interest the way what I studied as an undergraduate did.
I don't even know how to handle this since I can't really quit a year in or really tell my parents. To summarise, I'm feeling truly unhappy and distraught about it all and I'm losing interest by the day. It's surely not normal to dread every single day of work?
I feel terrible, what should I do?