Apologies if this is not the right place to ask this question, but I absolutely need advice. I am currently third-year international PhD student living in United States on F1 visa and full funding. So far I have been performing quite well, I finished almost all coursework with good grades, completed most of other requirenments, and had pretty good standing with my advisor. However, for the past couple of months I have been struggling A LOT and unfortunately, due to different reasons, I was unable to pass my Comprehensive exam last fall. My dissertation proposal was a total mess, and unfortunately, it only got worse from there. In few weeks I have to submit new proposal which is still terrible, and today I found out I have to basically re-write everything from scratch. Moreover, I am not sure if I will be able to pass the part of exam which I failed in fall (although I do feel way more confident).
It is truly difficult to explain the shame and guilt I am feeling right now. Especially since my University gave me a chance. I do not want to quit, but I feel like I may get terminated. If I get terminated, I may have to leave the United States. This will destory me, especially since I have mypartner here. I know all of it may sound silly, but I am panicking right now. I though I will be able to push through this spring, but I have panic attacks every day now.
Therefore, my question is: What happens if international student gets terminated from the program? Do you believe, if I fail comprehensive exam once again, my department may give me once more chance? What would you do in my place? Can I still transfer/change my major on my F1 visa? Should I just master-out and apply for OPT? Is it even possible?
My university does not give me any specific answers. My advisor knows I am struggling, but not the extent of it.