I'm helping a professor with some edits to a paper under review. Comments include advice that a better writing style be used and awkward wording be fixed. The professor is comfortable and expressive in English as a second language but indeed the sentence construction and phrasing is awkward and unsmooth and it sometimes takes a while to see how sequential points connect. I'm not a particularly good writer myself and it reminds me of my first attempts at scientific writing as an undergraduate before I had any experience writing. In this case though, this is likely going to be their fully-developed style.
They are readily amenable to grammar and word order fixes much but less so to paragraph rewrites; "no, that's now how I want to say it" or "...what I want to say."
I sense that further suggested rewrites on my part might not be the way to go, but "objective" advice on writing might still be welcome.
Short of a professional technical writing service, are there dispassionate tools (e.g. websites or programs) that tackle paragraph-scale technical writing construction, and do academic journals every recommend any of these or similar? What other solutions might exist for this situation?