There is this woman in my neighborhood that I had a talk with recently. We have known each other for a long time. Her parents are separated and she lives with her mother, but recently she has been staying with her father who is my neighbor.

This women recently completed her Bachelor's degree and staying at home. When I asked her what her plans were, she said nothing. Later she spoke that she will be getting married and staying at home.

When I asked her why don't you study further, she said her mother is already planning for her marriage and she fought with her mother and came to her father's house for some time. She just completed her teenage and is barely in her 20's.

Although the father is allowing to study further, she has constant fear that her mother will get her married and may have to leave studies midway. Since parents are separated, she thinks her father cannot stop her marriage. She made her mind she is going to be married and stay at home.

Although she is a bright student, I pity this women due to her condition and some other things she didn't disclose which probably is due to parents separation.

How do I convince her to study further and how will further studies help her in her life?

At my place, many women are illiterate due to poverty and other reasons (new generation is studying) and only men work for livelihood while women stay at home and take care of household and children.

I read many articles over the internet but couldn't find a proper answer to this situation and this women's condition is bothering me for some reason which I am unsure of.


Apart from just being a neighbor, I don't have any relation with her.

Doing household work isn't bad but when I look around especially women at my place after doing their daily choir, watch television/movies, chitchat and do nothing productive which I think can be changed if you are educated enough. One can teach others, work on social/personal problems and somehow contribute to society. You feel comfortable enough talking to the people around and people can listen to you

Tried asking the question of what you to be/what you want to do now; the reply was nothing, get married and stay at home.

Is it something like; we can only persuade someone, sometime later people tend to land in their default state and there is nothing that can be done?

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TypInd is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering. Check out our Code of Conduct.
  • What condition? You mention it in the fourth paragraph, but don't explain. And, it is polite in English to call women who are in their 20s and have a degree "women," not "girls." – Azor Ahai -- he him Oct 16 at 20:08
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    This may be better on Interpersonal Skills. Also: do you have any relationship with her beyond being her neighbor's son? – cag51 Oct 16 at 20:11
  • Are you sure the girl really wants to study and work oe is this just a conjecture (I am not entirely sure when reading this question)? (Doing household tasks is not per se bad, if (and only if) one wants to do this.) – user111388 Oct 16 at 21:49
  • I cannot tell why you think this woman needs a degree higher than a bachelor's. How is that connected to illiteracy, poverty, or oppressive gender roles? – Anonymous Physicist Oct 17 at 1:34
  • So is your problem that you feel she will not contribute to society? But this is even possible without any degree. (Also note that many people who work in industry effectivly harm society and our planet and a household worker is often thus much more valuable). – user111388 Oct 17 at 8:48

Some things that you could do as a friendly neighbor is the following:

Tell them that you will give them something. (If you want to) Tell them that their future depends on it. Tell them that they will be less stressed afterwards and be prouder. Tell them that studying makes talking to other people easier. Tell them that everyone would be proud of you that you finished studing.


You can start with a question .

Ask her that what she wants to be in life! For example, if she wants be a doctor ask her how she will become a doctor. To become a doctor you must passed out from a college with good grades. And you will have good grades when you study. Thus logically you can convince them for study.

Hope this helps :)

Another related question: https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-convince-my-friends-to-study

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Promaster1 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering. Check out our Code of Conduct.
  • If my answer isn't what you are looking for, you can go to the link above. – Promaster1 Oct 17 at 12:26

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