Last year I started a PhD in a foreign country but it turned out to be
unsatisfactory from different points of view - the work was poorly
organized. The supervisor was not providing guidance and knowdlege and
I decide to try to change the situation.
I'm sorry to hear that, but this can happen in any country!
I won other 2 position in
Europe and this was a surprise for me, it means that people really see
that this is what I really want to do.
It could mean that, but it's hard to know exactly what something like this means. Maybe the reason you got in was because your grades were excellent and the admissions committee found their interactions with you to be very professional.
I am very very sure that on the working
aspect I will have absolutely no problems.
I appreciate this, but please be careful. I've heard about too many PhD projects go sour, even when the student thought the lab they were entering was a perfect fit. To be "very very sure" that there will be "absolutely no problems" seems naive to me, just be careful not to expect "absolutely no problems": there's always some problems in a PhD journey.
I have a lot of fears when it comes to the weather.
10 million people live in Sweden every day, and 20 million live in Scandinavia.
That being said, some people can absolutely not be comfortable in hot/humid weather, and some people can absolutely not tolerate the cold. Stockholm, Uppsala, Gothenburg and Malmo are really not too different from a lot of other cities in UK, Northern Europe, Toronto, New York City, Montreal, etc. Nights may be longer and days shorter, but for millions of people this is reality. I have friends at Umeå University, and that is far enough North that weather may start to become more of a concern. Is your university going to be all the way up there, or further South like the other cities I mentioned (you don't have to say the exact city if you don't want)?
I have lived in central Europe and it was not
sunny everyday and for me it did not matter. Soon I will have to leave
my country for Sweden and I started to not sleep at night, to abuse a
little bit of alcohol (I am ashamed of it, but yes) and sometimes I
cry all the time saying that I do not want to spend my years there.
I think there's something more going on than just the "weather". Your boyfriend is there, you have spoken of the Swedish research group with utmost high regard, and Sweden is considered one of the best countries in the world to live in, and most universities are in the South which isn't too different weather-wise from Canada, northern USA, northern Europe, and UK (hundreds of millions of people's homes!). But feel free to say if the university is Umea University or in a similar location.
There's not enough information to know what underlying causes might be causing you to abuse alcohol, but universities in Sweden also have world-class health care and mental health care (counseling, therapy, psychotherapy, etc.).
When I think about the project and the university I am very very
happy, when I think about the country less, because when I was there,
I had not really a good feeling.
You say "very very happy" for the university and project, but "less happy" for the country. It sounds like the pros outweigh the cons. You did not say "very very unhappy" for the country and "less unhappy" for the university and project.
I do not want to quit my second PhD.
I want to start a new PhD being sure of what I am doing. What should I do?
What is the other option?
It would probably mean that I will not have a
possibility anymore and so I have to give up the idea of getting a
Also, there's nothing wrong with not getting a PhD either. I know people that quit their PhD programs and hate themselves for it, but they are further along in their careers than I am, and I'm jealous of them for it. Scientific American has this article called "The Emotional Toll of Grad School" which is another reason why I feel that doing a PhD can sometimes be over-rated.
I don't know why I changed my mind, if it is just fear or I
really do not want to go.
It seems like there's something more than just the weather, that's bothering you :)
Please, do not close the topic, I really need an advice. How much
social life and location can make a difference in your life? I would
like to hear some experiences.
I lived in the following countries:
Age 0-21: Canada
Age 21-25: UK (PhD)
Age 25-26: Japan (postdoc)
Age 26-27: Singapore (postdoc)
Age 27-28: Japan (postdoc)
Age 28-29: Canada (postdoc)
Age 30-31: USA (postdoc)
Age 31-Now: Canada
During those years I also spent several months as a "visiting researcher" in Germany, Hong Kong, Mainland China, and other countries.
Every country has it's differences, and in some of those countries I sometimes literally felt like I was living in Hell because I could speak the language, plus the culture and expectations of me were completely different from what I was used to. But I don't regret a single one of those experiences. All the ups and downs made me what I am today, and I'm smarter and wiser than I would have been if I stayed in one country my whole life. If you can speak English, language won't be a big problem in Sweden, and the culture won't be too different from what you're used to in Central Europe. I know people that had terrible experiences in some countries, but I've never heard of it happening in Sweden (that doesn't mean it can't happen, and I appreciate that everyone is different and that you have specific concerns about the weather).