I'm close to the end of a troubled PhD experience. However this closeness might be extended to the infinite if I would get to the point of having something that is good enough. I might be too self-critical (maybe considering the standard of my institution) but at the moment the best scenario is ending with something that I wouldn't use after and I would prefer to not show it around.
Also I'm not very interested in the subject itself, so if my PhD has to be a visit card for my further steps in academia, it might be better to don't have it. I don't want to be framed in this "expertise".
My unique motivation is putting an end to this story, get the credit and the title, continuing in academia saying I have a PhD, but without showing it around as a good trophy.
I'm basically facing this dilemma:
- On one hand I must consider that "it's just a PhD" so I'm not going to change the world with it. It's enough doing something proper and giving my small contribution to the research... in other words, it doesn't have to be perfect.
- On the other hand, if this has to be something that is going to specialize my academic career and in which I should build my reputation and be recognized as an expert of this, I prefer to disappear from the scene.
There are few aspects to consider:
Even if I might be too self-critical, there are objective problems in my work (which are not my responsibility in larger part)
It can be possible that with some tricks the institution and supervisor might close an eye on this, since they have their slice of responsibilities and support my finalization.
Shortly, all the PhD has been done without following any of the supposed methodology and criteria. I had to put a bunch of material together, even if unrelated to the actual research, just because they are of a direct and personal interest of the supervisor. Thus, it should be my responsibility to make sense out of them and create questions, answers and a dissertation out of it... whatever it is. You can imagine what the result can be.
Will this PhD affect my future steps in the academia?