I am totally lost and devasted mentally and physically, I have been in a program and left after one year because of lack of experiment as well as racist supervisor. I have accepted to lower job in other country to sustain living until I got another phD in different country with the same subject, now I am seven months in and had a qualifier today, one of the examiners didnot understand what I am doing and cannot judge and they decided to have another qualifier in three months which I wasnot expecting, normally every student pass the qualifier.

The project coordinator was offensive to me and to me mani supervisor who is nice.

The project lack of experimental data and that is the curse of interdisciplinary project. I saw a lot of red flags happening and it is hard to taken in since i am alone and also worked hard and having a side activity related to the field which is successful.

I hope you can advise me as I really need support, I asked them to leave since we dont have data we cannot validate.

I have received an offer from other university where a supervisor wants me to join and he said I can do all the experiment I want.

I am crying because I stucked with two wrong places, I am actually working at university at my homecountry and I have to get PhD for returning,but now it seems I have to start all over again.

I am hitting 29, and I see it is failure for me to experience, I hope I can chatt with someone for help in figuring out what is the problem as I really need it.....

1 Answer 1


I guess I don't understand your dilemma. You have an offer. If it seems better than your current situation overall, you should consider taking it. Your age is not material to such questions. You will eventually be 50 and then 70, if you are lucky, no matter what your choice is now.

If you've been misused in the past, don't let it color your decisions.

But, make a list of the positives and negatives of each possibility and then choose what seems to be best.

  • Thank you Buffy! I am afraid it would bad to two PhD programs and leave them to the third one,even with myself, I think maybe the problem, but the examiner isnot expert at , so it isnot shame to leave a second phD program to a third one?
    – user116038
    Commented Jan 14, 2020 at 18:07
  • I am now 7 months in the new program, the other one offers alot of facilities and experiment which I am lacking here and that is a big issue here.
    – user116038
    Commented Jan 14, 2020 at 18:08
  • 1
    @Erik You have an offer? Does it depend on anything? If it is unconditional and it has the environment you need, what keeps you from going there? Of course, switching PhDs again does not look great, but you very clearly do not like the possibilities of the place where you are. As Buffy suggests so well, make a list of pluses and minuses on paper and weigh them. Sleep on it, weigh again. Sleep again, weigh again. Then decide. Age is just one of the factors on the list. Not the factor, just one of them. TBH, 29 is not a pole position to start a PhD in, but not a losing proposition. Commented Jan 14, 2020 at 18:14
  • Yes, it is unconditional, however, as you said switching for third time looks bad due to the bad luck I had. I feel bad as I got masters at 23 and due to some events I got delayed and then suffering mentally, I was always great. I dont understand what you imply by " TBH, 29 is not a pole position to start a PhD in, but not a losing proposition" allmy peers finished now, and I cannot figure why I am stuck in these siituations although I am doing new workm, maybe they dont understand it, but it is hard to take in. all these ,sorry I amjust crying because I was supposed to finish now.
    – user116038
    Commented Jan 14, 2020 at 18:27

You must log in to answer this question.