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It maybe sounds emotional, but I am struggling because I have been delayed two years until I found a new program that could accept me. I was kicked out because of a racist supervisor. It hurts me as in the new year everyone asks did you finish your Ph.D., I panic as I did not let anyone know. What hurts me I was a top student and get master with excellence. there are certain events in my life that derailed me, now I am approaching 29 and I didn't even make a progress in my personal life and this delay in my professional caused me self-confidence. I escape from any gathering with people know me when you finish as they did not what happens and I don't want anyone, but the result I am struggling with these thoughts and I am living alone. I don't know if anyone could face that, what you should do when you used to be successful and all of a sudden you get derailed when you approach 30.

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    Why a two year delay? Just the normal application sequence? – Buffy Jan 4 at 16:35
  • two year as I was looking for other opening and my ex-supervisor badmouthed me, it was hard to find program as we pretty small field. – Erik Jan 4 at 16:54
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    do you get or consider getting psychological help? Sounds like you could use some. (and there is nothing to be ashamed of it) – Boaty Mcboatface Jan 4 at 20:18
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    I voted to close because this is not a question. – Anonymous Physicist Jan 5 at 3:44
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    you are successful, you escaped toxic supervisor. better late than never – SSimon Jan 5 at 5:55
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I was kicked out because of a racist supervisor.

That is quite an accusation. I'd suggest that you consult an attorney, if you have any evidence that you were discriminated because of your ethnicity. There is a chance that you might resume the programme. Of course, provided that the expelling took place based on some sort of discrimination.

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  • i tried, but no one helped me in the workplace, i couldnot find and i was funded by that supervisor project, it wasnot easy, it just want to restore my confidence, but dont know how – Erik Jan 4 at 17:13
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    @Erik No, not in the workplace. An external lawyer with their own practice. – nick012000 Jan 4 at 22:17
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    The supervisor was racist, but decided to fund you? An advisor sinks a lot of time and money training up students. They must of saw something in you to make that investment. – TheCodeNovice Jan 4 at 22:31
  • @TheCodeNovice, I dont understand your comment, but all I can say, I was kicked out because I argue about a method and he was trying to force me to do something isnot true in research, actually I noticed some red flags at the beginning, but I neglected and he turned to be racist, narcissistic and sociopath – Erik Jan 4 at 22:42
  • @nick012000, it is along story, I switched countries because that supervisor was trying to destroy my career, while other position they have to get back to him, anyway I cannot go back two years, now I dont know how to cope mentally because of the pressure that I am delayed. – Erik Jan 4 at 22:43
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Being successful until almost 30 must be rough. I had failed at several things that seemed really important at the time, and learned to pick myself up and get on with life, before I was 12. Picking yourself up and carrying on after something goes wrong is an important life skill because very few people get through life without ever failing at anything. I am afraid it is one of those skills that has to be learned through experience.

If you do not yet feel comfortable discussing the situation in groups, pick one friend who is sympathetic and well-connected. Tell that friend exactly what is going on, making it clear you want them to spread the information but that it is a sore subject you do not want to discuss. You will feel more comfortable in groups that way, and get more emotional support.

As you start on the new program you will need to be able to talk about your background, or you will be very isolated. Decide in advance how much you are willing to say about what happened, and how to present it.

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  • I cannot do it as I can trust 100 anyone in that new place. i wish i can find that person. i was always successful never failed, it is hard to take in – Erik Jan 4 at 17:08
  • I completely agree. Each person has a different path's life which can be easier or harder: we cannot choose our lives. Many fails do not depend on us but only on the situation. – Gab Jan 4 at 17:22
  • @Erik Why do you need to trust someone 100% to talk to them? A risk-free life would be a very lonely, restricted life. – Patricia Shanahan Jan 5 at 4:49
  • Could you clarify what you mean by the first sentence? I know certain people who could also say "I was successful in my life" but that doesn't mean that they never failed in something at the age of 12? – user111388 Apr 20 at 7:36
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Success can be interpreted in many ways. You can be a successful man without a bachelor's degree if you do something that is important for you. You have 30 years and you are doing a PhD, it's perfectly normal. Thre are people that start their PhD in their 40s or laters. Two years are nothing.

Remember that we cannot choose the life that we live, but we can adapt ourselves to get the best in our possibilities.

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  • i am still figuring out,but it is hard when you were successful, it is like hiting a wall. – Erik Jan 4 at 17:12
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    you rely too much on other judgments. Each person has a different path. – Gab Jan 4 at 17:15

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