My relationship with my advisor did not end the best. He took months and months to get me my thesis edits (I am currently finishing my 5th year as a Master's student because of this), and I ended up having to involve the department chair and dean to get a response. I was also made the leader of our project after other students graduated or left with little to no guidance, so there were many mistakes on my part because I didn't know what I was doing and he wouldn't help me, but got upset when I asked other faculty for help.

Last time I asked him for a letter of recommendation he took so long to respond to me (despite me asking/reminding him about it daily) that the job closed and a person was hired before he even got to it. I don't feel that I can ask other faculty members because he would find out and get mad at me for not asking him, whether he would write me a letter or not.

I am looking at potentially getting a Ph.D., but they typically want 2-3 letters of recommendation. I am not sure who to ask at this point. I know I could have done better, and I have good relationships with other professors, but I feel that I can't ask anyone at this point and I am struggling to get a job that isn't seasonal/temporary.

Does anyone have any advise or suggestions that could potentially help me?

1 Answer 1


[deleted my first response as I entirely missed the point of your question]

I think other professors with whom you have worked are the right place to go. As for hurting the feelings of your previous professor, based on your story of the delayed last letter, I would read that to be that he is unhelpful and wants to put distance between you two. I doubt very much that he will ever know if you have another professor write you a letter, let alone feel bad about you asking another professor and not him.

  • Thank you for your response. I feel as though I have been overthinking everything and this helps a lot.
    – user115513
    Oct 26, 2019 at 21:33

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