I'm a professor being mistaken for a grad student, how to handle this?

Question

This question is the flip side of Mistook new faculty member to be a student, how big a faux pas is it?

I'm an associate professor, and apparently I look young for my age. When I meet new people at conferences, they often start the conversation with something like "So, are you a grad student or a postdoc?" It doesn't particularly bother me in itself, but when I politely say something like "Actually, I'm faculty", they get embarrassed and it kind of puts a damper on the conversation. I think this sort of thing has probably spoiled a few potential networking opportunities for me.

• Are there more tactful ways I can respond to this kind of mistake?

• Are there things I could do to "look" more like a professor? I already dress reasonably neatly (e.g. no T-shirts) and faculty in my field don't normally dress up much more than that. Should I carry a briefcase instead of a backpack, or something like that?

(I happen to be cis male, work in mathematics, and live in the US, but it would be good to have more generally applicable answers if possible.)

Answer 1

I would take it as a compliment to be mistaken for being younger. And, even if you don't actually feel complimented, that's a good way to respond. For example, you could laugh and say "Thanks. I wish I was still a young and carefree student, but, unfortunately, I'm a professor."

If you make it appear like you take it as a compliment, people won't feel like they have offended you and it is less awkward. The other party may also intentionally be erring on the side of underestimating your age, because it's seen as less of a faux pas that way.

(I often get people commenting on my height. I always act as if I take it as a compliment and that seems to work well. However, in reality, I'm pretty bored of discussing my disinterest in basketball.)

At conferences, you always have the option of putting "Prof." on your nametag. There is a small risk that this looks pretentious relative to the norms of your community, so it's a tradeoff.

Finally, one sure-fire way to appear older is to use gray hair dye!

Answer 2

Storytime. When I was lecturing, I once waited for the students outside the classroom (casually against the wall).

A student came to me and asked "Hey, do you know dr WoJ? Is he tough?". To what I replied "Oh yeah, but he is a great guy".

We came in together, our ways split while he was walking towards the other students and I went to the head of the classroom. I smiled a few times when looking at him when he was trying to somehow shrink.

I still smile when I think about that, nobody makes the mistake anymore (sigh).

Bottomline: enjoy being seen as younger than you are. The way you look is only a part of how students will see you (from experience on both sides of the fence - the part "how do I look" is not that important).

Ah, another story. I had my first lab as a lab teacher (during my doctoral studies - I was running the lab for the students, asking them questions, marking, etc.). I was late. I ran to the lab and the janitor stopped me yelling that I have to change because if all the students came with their stuff it would be the end of the world (more or less).

He closed the door and told me to be back when I am without my coat etc. - and that I am lucky that the teacher is late :)

It took me some time to get in.

Bottomline: you may actually consider, in specific conditions, to look like a teacher.

Answer 3

If you'd like to be more readily recognizable as a professor, change your dress to be a little bit more formal than the graduate students and postdocs around you dress.

In US professional dress for men, there are actually quite a number of noticeable gradations between T-shirt and suit. The rough levels that I've observed, in order of increasing formality are:

1. T-shirt
2. Collared shirt without buttons
3. "Comfy" button-down shirt with pocket (e.g., a flannel)
4. "Nice" button-down shirt (generally thinner and finer fabric, more subtle pattern and color)
5. Formal button-down shirt (i.e., the sort of thing you might iron and wear under a sport coat)
6. Tie without coat
7. Sport coat + tie
8. Suit

Those middle levels from 3-5 are subtle but highly communicative. Graduate students and postdocs usually land at levels 1-3, while professors more tend to land from 3-6. From what you've written, I would guess that you're probably typically coming in at around a 2-4 right now, and could upgrade yourself to somewhere in the 4-5 range.

For a woman, the general advice would be the same ("dress a little bit more formally than the graduate students"), but the specifics of how to achieve it are a) more complex, and b) can often take advantage of accessories such as jewelry.

Answer 4

People often think I am much younger than I am, and they might express said confusion with remarks similar to the ones you get. When people do get my age/position wrong, I normally point out they are ~ a decade off in their judgment, which always elicits surprise, never embarrassment.

My take therefore is that if you point out people are misjudging your professional position people might get embarrassed and forever try and avoid you, whereas if you causally drop 'thank you, but that was X years ago!' people will not feel so embarrassed. Do not drop you status as faculty on their heads immediately after correcting them, let them ask you.

Let people think they complimented you for your superiors youthfulness rather than tell them off for dissing you -- that seems the outcome you wish to get.

Answer 5

Facial hair could help

As a guy in his upper thirties who until recently was still getting pegged as being in his upper teens to lower twenties, growing facial hair (a mustache and goatee) has helped quite a bit. I now routinely get called "sir", which didn't happen before. I'm not saying this will solve your problem, but if it's an option it can definitely help.

Answer 6

As a staff member (in the no man's land between students and faculty) who dresses casually, others on campus would always ask what I'm studying. Then over a summer vacation I stopped shaving my salt-and-pepper beard. When I returned, everyone suddenly treated me like I had tenure. I was flabbergasted.

Answer 7

It doesn't particularly bother me in itself, but when I politely say something like "Actually, I'm faculty", they get embarrassed and it kind of puts a damper on the conversation

I'm answering this based on that you do not appear to be bothered my the initial mistake, but how the conversation ensues. In that case, I'd recommend against changing things like how you dress or what you carry, and instead focus on how you respond. Being polite when you tell them the mistake is fine, but the way you express it will define the rest of the conversation. So yes, if you're polite, but serious, they might feel awkward. But if you smile and take it as humorous mistake and tell them with a light, almost laughing tone (not actually laughing, but maybe a little chuckle) that you are a faculty member, then, yes, they might still be a little embarrassed, but they will probably be comfortable about it. Maybe even inject an "I get that all the time." This would be less drastic than changing your dress style or daily behavior.