About 8 months ago I was about to graduate university and was trying to figure out what to do with myself then. A professor asked me if I wanted to do my masters with him and I said yes almost without thinking.
I still had classes at that moment so for about a month and a half I focused on my courses and he did not talk to me so there was little communication between the two. Due to an error in the system, my application for a masters program got delayed to January this year, rather than July, when it was originally planned by both me and the professor. I was taking 2 highly accelerated courses, one of which was a grad course, so I in between the stress and my own ignorance I neglected dealing with that issue until it was too late.
I had an immigration status that made it so that I needed to get a job within 90 days of graduating or I would be kicked out of the country. Without talking to my professor I panicked and applied to jobs, got one and then "remembered" to tell my professor essentially a week before moving to a different city to start my job.
In other words, I told him I would work with him and then didn't communicate anything to him and then a month after went back on my word and left for a job.
This professor is the person with whom I did my undergrad thesis, so he is invaluable as a recommendation reference. But I don't think I deserve or have any right to ask him for references. Worse than that, even if I was shameless enough to ask, it is unlikely he would give me a good reference after I essentially shat on a verbal agreement and betrayed his trust by unilaterally taking fast decisions without telling him anything.
Is there anything I can do here? I messed up, I messed up horribly, but I still want to go to grad school even if at this point I probably don't deserve it.