I work as a senior academic in an important university in Europe. My name is in several publications in top journals in my field.
I have always published papers together with brilliant collaborators who really made the difference but they are not there any more.
I am working on a new paper as a solo author but I am suffering a mental blockage and serious problems of anxiety.
I have previously published some papers as a solo author but I need help with this new paper. The difference now is that I am not able to start writing the proof demonstrations and therefore I cannot attract collaborators. Blank page syndrome. When I try to work on it, I have panic attacks. It's not a lack of skills because I have previously performed at a high level, I am blocked because I am used to collaborative work and talk about work helps me develop my ideas. I am now in a vicious loop, without proofs to attract collaborators and without collaborators to develop proofs
I was invited to give a seminar on my previous paper in an American university. I could use that opportunity to talk with them about my new ideas. I also spoke with some of my department colleagues. They are waiting for me to develop a bit more the proofs to decide whether my idea is feasible and collaborate. They are busy and will not help me at the moment. Right now, I am alone with my unsolved proof and my panic attacks.
How can I overcome this mental block when working with theoretical mathematics?
My job is my life, I don't want to leave academia but this situation is killing me. Should I leave academia or stay regardless the consequences?