At the start of the semester, I was driven, powered, a little unfocused (my phone kept distracting me from studying.) But I kept pushing on and on.
But I made costly mistakes along the way.
-I insisted on reading the book for EVERYTHING. Because of this, I would have to study into the day of the midterm and I would have the last 2-3 chapters unfinished and unstudied, only to find out that most of the chapters I had read were not ON the midterm.
I even neglected some classes for others. Even when I had done the book's examples in the class I was strongest in, I failed.
This isn't me making excuses or blaming the teachers for shifting content or making end content more valuable than the other, it just goes to show how my way of wanting to read everything just doesn't work right now.
Now I withdrew from 2 other classes and I'm down to the last two.
I want to work hard and focus on these, but now I have a different problem.
I think I'm afraid of busting my ass only to fail again, or rather. . .I don't see the point. So, I procrastinate.
I've bought energy drinks, coffee, went to the library to focus, but even then. . . I have issues with my parents and my interactions with them are like a tape playing on repeat in my head without consent.
When I finally knuckle down and get to studying, I just feel tired or listless and play a game or read something else for an hour. I keep telling myself I'll get to it, but I haven't in two weeks. Finals are approaching and I'm about to fail the last two classes I have, and I can pass them if I just figure out how to get past this.
This semester has been humbling. . .I took and passed 3 classes over Summer break with good grades, 2 B's and a C and these were under tight time constraints. Now, I can't even pass four classes over the span of four months. . . .
Right now I just don't see the ***** point and I know I'm a fool for it.
I just need a little help. A little wisdom?