I was a first-year PhD student but was forced to quit although hard-working day and night! I am disappointed, I am now 27 and did not create family, left my home country. Problems from the past in my family hugely affect my mental health. I have OCD and some other health issues.
Everyone admires my personality in presenting my work, however I am now shocked as I dreamt of doing good research to really help people and imprint a memory before leaving this earth. But I found it does not look like that. When I was a little girl, I used to tell my late mother: "I do not want to be an ordinary person, I want to add this world, to become an important person".
However, while writing now I would burst in tears and feel deeply alone. I suffered from complaining, so I would forget to speak and grew used to keeping every thing inside. I am afraid for my family as I feel responsible and I would like to make their lives better. Maybe the problem was that I did not do as well as the others? I thought I could do something new and meaningful, but I ended up being kicked out.
I would be grateful if someone tell me how can I overcome this harsh period?