I have came up with an M.Sc. thesis idea to my advisor 11 months ago. She supervised but especially in last months not sufficiently for reasons, and I have added very much content at those times. She then led me to the committee without being able to read thesis completely and committee members also were not related to the subject. In presentation of the thesis, one of the member started to ask weird questions and gave reactions to my answers in a humiliating tone, and with time other members forbid me to answer the questions and as a result they simply asked something and automatically assumed that I did not know about that and I should correct them in thesis. Later, I was behaved like I actually was not worth to be graduated but they still granted me with that. Finally, I feel to be judged unfairly and very depressed. I wonder how much I am to blame here.
Chronologic long explanation:
I have made a modeling research on nitrate reactive transport in groundwater. For 10 months, without a single day break I have worked on learning the required tools, finding data from internet, conducting models, writing thesis and also consulting relevant faculty. At the end we had more than 180 pages of a thesis document. But the committee members we were able to find were not actually relevant to topic, the relevant ones simply ignored or rejected the offers for unknown reasons, without seeing the thesis/aim or anything.
My advisor was not able to allocate time to thoroughly read the thesis for again many reasons and as such, I had not even seen her for 3 months before committee, and only met her 10 minutes before it. In other words, it is an unfortunate fact that my advisor led me to the committee without comprehending my thesis study and unable to find relevant people for judging the suitability of my thesis for graduation. And for making things worse, I was only able to give my thesis to committee members 4 days before the event. And I have said to my advisor that one of the member did not even seem to understand a thing in the topic while I was explaining.
So the presentation commenced. I have extremely focused on my rehearsal and swiftly explained it. Afterthat, the questions came. With exception of one or two, all of them were clear misunderstandings, and again carelessness. They simply wanted me to add something to thesis with I already did, but they just did not look at those chapters so they did not know. One of them again asked a thing which I definitely clearly did in the document, and when I said so in a direct way, she got frustrated and simply tried to find an opening and humiliate me. She was unsuccessful in such attempts but as she kept getting angrier whenever I replied, other members did not permit me to answer questions anymore and they decided that I really did not know how to answer them. By humiliating, I really meant it, such as " you don't know what you are talking about, you can't say whatever you want" etc. even if it is not the case. Sometimes my advisor cut my answer and claimed something completely incorrect about my thesis and the members stopped taking me seriously, as it contradicted with my more than hour explanations and they simply automatically assumed that advisor knows the thesis much more than the actual writer. And as with my gossip about a member not understanding a thing, my advisor directly said these words to other members (this one is different than the frustrated one, albeit she also acted in the same way).
Then they let me out and decided about the outcome, as a result they declared that "normally you would get an extension but we thought maybe you will correct your mistakes in one month length so we let you graduate". They stated a couple of times that a thesis should be understood even by a five-year-old child, with a serious complexion. Yet, I even know that some of the members did not even upload their M.Sc. thesis to online national database, which has been obligatory since 2006 and voluntarily for thesis done before, let alone 5 year old no one even is able to reach.
I know there are theses much worse in condition than mine, also there are thesis much better. I have tried to do something sufficient. Yet, without any clear understanding by them I feel like I was harshly judged. As I explained, I have worked on this without a one day break for more than 10 months, might sound to some as feeble, but no one I saw worked harder than me around. I felt like a complete failure and really lost my motivation on even doing a simplest things I enjoyed before.
I might take any advice on how to cope with this depression as it is directly related to the overall process, I want to know how much I am to blame here given the circumstances.