When applying to graduate school, I didn't asked for a letter of recommendation from a professor who offered one.

Now I have a course with him and he seems to avoid me. How I can fix my relationship with him?

  • 1
    Are you sure he is avoiding you?
    – Allure
    May 3, 2018 at 3:02
  • @Allure I am sure he doesn't like me much. What can I do to improve this please?
    – John SK
    May 3, 2018 at 3:09

1 Answer 1


What exactly "avoid" means in your situation? Is there any specific event or occasion?

To me, building a relationship with someone is hard especially when It comes to professional life (e.g. academia). It takes lots of effort and time. Did you spend time with him like asking questions in his class, talk to him, or even disagree (debate) with him on a certain topic? I don't talk about the relationship outside of the classroom.

I think this is just your bias about what that professor think or feel about you and you care too much about that. Most of the time people don't care much about other people unless there is common voice or opposition about something between them.

So, if you want to have a better relationship with that professor, my suggestions could be something like (based on my experience):

  • Actively discuss when you're in his class.

  • Email him asking about some of your ideas.

  • Buy him a cup of coffee :)

I'm not sure if this helps but hope you feel better.

  • 1
    I'm dubious about the last suggestion. Maybe it would be ok if you are in the middle of a conversation and you want to continue it at starbucks (and he seems invested in the discussion), but don't just show up with coffee out of the blue.
    – nengel
    May 3, 2018 at 5:49
  • @nengel: you're correct, just need to be more sensitive when doing that. Thanks for your comments :D May 3, 2018 at 11:15

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