I sent a reminder email one day before the due date for a couple of my applications to grad school. It said something along the lines of
This is just a reminder that first due dates are tomorrow: [list of a couple of schools]. Hope you aren't too busy to write still. If you haven't received an email from these schools on instructions let me know.
I also sent "resends" to this professor's email via the schools' application portals. The professor responded with something like
You've already sent a list of deadlines [I did, but this was about a month ago]. It is NOT helpful to send repeated reminders.
I thought it was standard to send reminders before deadlines, especially if due dates are tomorrow with no letter sent. I feel that I have said or done something wrong. How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
I am now not only reluctant to send reminders for January schools, but I am now worried about the strength of this professor's letter. I have four letter writers, and I am tempted to drop his letter on some January schools. The reason for this is that this is not the only time he has been a bit snappy with me, although never like this. But I did tell him a while ago that I did not want his letter if it would not be strong, and yet he still agreed to write for me. So assuming he is honest about that, I feel I should maybe keep his letter.
This is all a little confusing and stressful. Thanks for your time to read.