Is it bad to ask for accommodations for disability when PhD supervisor might be in bereavement?

Question

I'm in my 2nd year of PhD in England, with one supervisor and we are the only two people in our lab. I have two results chapters ready with a major experiment in each, and I'm in the middle of another one. About a month ago my normally absent PI first said that I'm on track, then said I have enough data but don't prioritise tasks well, now she's saying that I'm way behind on data collection (although she did not give me a deadline), she wants me glued to my office desk and to report to her whenever I'm leaving it, even if for 30 mins for lunch just outside the lab, every single day (thankfully bathroom breaks are exempt, at least for now!). Recently I asked if I could come in later (10-11am) at times when my asthma gets worse, she first agreed but the next day changed her mind, now she wants me to go to a doctor and "fix" my asthma although obviously I would have done by now it were possible. She said she's responsible and concerned for my wellbeing but generally she never listens to me or takes me seriously. I have just heard from someone that her dad might be dying which might explain her sudden change in mood. Before this she didn't seem to care where I was. She did suddenly berate me once for being too slow just before Easter last year. That was unusual for her so I thought she was stressed by something personal and ignored that.

I happily worked a 9-5 before my PhD but it was repetitive so I didn't have to think about it much, neither did I have to work evenings and weekends. My PI doesn't let me get time off after late hours/weekend work which I have to do quite often.

I fear that I may be a slow worker sometimes because I'm constantly anxious about doing things the perfect way especially when I'm new to a certain task, this may be related to my diagnosed autism. My office here is noisy and distracting, there are no physical walls between people and I feel stared at which increases my anxiety. Working in empty meeting rooms for the past half a year and coming in slightly later I found it much easier to read and write. Now my PI says she doesn't want to hear about the work I do outside of the office, she just wants me to be at my desk and that's it. The problem with this is that being underslept and not concentrating will make me a lot less productive and will end badly for me. Again, in the past I could be stuck for weeks trying to figure something out and she didn't care.

I grew up in a country with a massive stigma against neurodivergence so I'm not comfortable telling people about my autism diagnosis and I didn't declare it (or the asthma) when I started. Throughout my career so far I never had to - I graduated with a first, got prizes for best performance in my cohort, my previous PI and myself worked 11am-1am publishing four papers from my Masters together, including two with me as first author. Then I got this fully funded PhD. I do feel sorry for my current PI's situation but I don't want my career ruined at this point. Given how she reacted to my asking for health-related accommodations before, I don't feel that telling her about my anxiety will make a difference.

I'm tempted to bring proof of my diagnoses to Disability services and ask them to suggest accommodations for my PI to implement, e.g. working in a quiet space and starting later. I feel this would be forceful perhaps but I have no choice if I'm to continue with my PhD. Would there be any point in this and how would I time it to avoid upsetting my PI?

Alternatively, I could assume that even a non-autistic person would feel anxious in this situation (this is where I'd love to hear your views) and have a reason to speak to my tutor (my assigned pastoral support person) to express concern about my PI's demands. In that case should I mention that I heard they are having family problems and potentially bereavement soon, while keeping the source anonymous? I have no idea whatsoever what could happen to me or her after this.

What do you think is the politically correct way to go about this?

Also, could my PI get away with not agreeing with the accommodations or even refusing to supervise me once I declare my health problems to the university?

Edited to add this: my PI and I have had two long meetings already about this. She ignores most of what I say and goes on about what she wants. To avoid her moving the goalpost I suggested that I take unambiguous precise bullet-point notes of each decision we make on our meetings. I wrote them down in a shared document, she read and approved, but the moment I left the room she wrote her own story underneath our notes as a paragraph and in very vague terms from my point of view. She keeps adding stuff to it outside of our meetings too. This feels like a one-way conversation with a dictator and I'm giving up on trying to reason with her.

Answer 1

I think it's appropriate to attribute some grumpiness or moodiness to bereavement and give someone a bit of the benefit of the doubt and patience as they deal with a difficult time.

However, that does not extend to everything and certainly is not a reason for you to work in unproductive conditions. From your side of the story, your supervisor seems misguided as to what makes for productive working conditions. She also sounds a bit erratic in terms of shifting feedback and expectations. It's possible the solutions she is proposing are solutions that would work for her, or have worked for a past student, even if they do not work for you.

Disability Services may be useful, but I would start by asking them for advice about how to approach the situation rather than to enforce some accommodations. I think it would be far better to come to an understanding with your advisor directly about what you need to be successful. The accommodations you are asking for do not sound to me like they are particularly unique to any disability or condition (even if that may be a valid and convincing argument for them), these are things that fit quite reasonably into general variation in preferred working habits.

Unfortunately, there is no magic formula for interacting with people to get what you want or need from them, and certainly no formula to do so without offending anyone. Personalities differ, and general guidelines that work with most people might not work with your supervisor.

My general advice would be to have a conversation starting with your shared goals for your project and to try to come up with a shared understanding of a reasonable timeline, and then move to discussing a plan to get there. I would ask specifically why her preferences for working hours are what they are, and start from those reasons when making an argument for why you think a different structure would suit you better. You could request a trial period, where you've agreed on some progress to be made by some specific time, to show that you are able to make that progress under the conditions you propose.

Another tip I commonly give here is to suggest you bring up the problem you want to solve rather than your solution. That is, start with "When it's noisy I am not able to get work done" rather than "I don't want to work in the office". This lets people feel helpful by coming up with solutions for you, rather than feeling like you're defying their own preferences.

Of course, your advisor may be entirely unreasonable about all of this and insist on a particular way forward that doesn't work for you. In that case, maybe you want disability services to impose some accommodations for your work environment. However, I do not think a supervisor/student relationship works well when it is adversarial. Mentors must be invested in their students' success; these are battles you should be fighting on the same side of. That doesn't mean there can't be disagreement or conflict, but rather that the end goals should be shared. If your mentor needs to be forced by some third party to support you, that would suggest you are not actually on the same side. If you cannot come to some agreement with this professor about working conditions that suit you, I would strongly suggest you consider finding an alternative mentor.

Answer 2

First, no it is not wrong to ask for accommodations because she is grieving.

To me, though, it sounds like she is increasing her oversight of your work because she feels your progress may be too slow. If I’m right, she might not object to flexible working arrangements in principle, but feels that you haven’t demonstrated sufficient progress and thinks that this could be because you are not putting in the dedicated hours. She can’t verify hours that you say you put in at home or at night (or whether you are multitasking during those hours), so she is asking you to be where she can see you working during normal business hours. She might relax her policies once she sees you making better progress.

If I were you, I’d declare your challenges and work with her to find a way to address her concerns while also looking after your needs. Just throwing out some ideas here: Good headphones, rearrangement of furnishings or a change of desk location to reduce distractions when you are in the office? Working 10am-7pm consistently every day (rather than variable, flexible hours) so that she at least knows when to expect you to be working, even if it is non-standard hours? Doing that with a buddy who also starts at 10 and finishes later so you have some peer accountability? An agreement to check in when you start and then each hour while you are working during business hours at home? Logging your hourly activities in a spreadsheet and submitting that each week? Or perhaps some software-based solution?

Also, if you haven’t done so in the last few years, check with a specialist regarding your asthma as there have been some relatively recent improvements in allergy options that your regular doctor might not have considered (alternatives to shots for desensitisation, newer drugs that address different mechanisms of the reaction, etc) and a specialist might also be able to help you find ways to reduce your exposure better.

Answer 3

Bringing in the Disability services might be helpful, but you will still need to work on the project at a reasonable pace unless you plan to switch advisors completely; their requirement may not be enforced at all, because they cannot really do much about your advisor forcing you to work more.

I would suggest talking to your advisor directly regarding your problems:

1. Why does she suddenly think your progress is not enough? Is there a new deadline in her head? Does she want you to submit to a conference with a more recent deadline?
2. Your asthma is getting worse, and there is no possible "fix" except for more rest and work-from-home time (get a doctor's note available if possible). Make sure that she knows it could be life threatening for you. Don't talk about anxiety and autism because it sounds like your advisor is not so aware of mental health/neurodevelopmental problems.
3. You are willing to give up this earlier deadline in her head because of health reasons. You are willing to negotiate a new deadline with her and make good progress on the condition that you are not forced to go to your office in non-business hours for the sake of your health (as long as your work can be done at home, of course).

Be stern about your needs, but try to stay neutral and don't accuse her of anything, i.e. tell her that "I need to prioritize my health" instead of "you are ignoring my health", and especially don't feel guilty or be hesitant to talk to her because you heard that she is experiencing personal stress.