Offer for a great (but too long) postdoc and a girlfriend in another country

Question

I am in the shortlist for a postdoc at a great place and I highly admire my future mentor. He will try to argue for my application in front of the hiring committee in a few days.

The only concern I have is that this postdoc position is for 3 years. I have a girlfriend in another country and she cannot come with me where the postdoc will be. My long term plan was to spend 1 or 2 years as a postdoc, then some years in industry near my girlfriend and then the two of us to go back in my country, where I can easily find a permanent tenure-track position. I want to be honest with my future mentor and communicate the situation with him without losing the opportunity (the other potential offers I could have are way worse). In any case, I want to keep my good relation with the mentor. I see two main options:

1. Communicating the situation with the mentor right now. The risk is that it may look that I am not motivated enough and this could lead to me not getting an offer at all.

2. Share this with the mentor after an offer and 1 or 2 years spent at the postdoc place. Then, I will first have higher chances to get the position and second - if the mentor understands me, I will keep the good relation with him and he can even recommend me for another academic position where my girlfriend is (that could be even better, but I don't know whether it's possible given that I will still have 1 year of my current postdoc contract).

Which option would you choose at my place?

[Remark: Having a family is a priority for me. I am already 33 years old and I am afraid that if I lose my girlfriend, I will end up being single forever, as many people choosing the academia career track.]

Answer 1

I would suggest that you don't say anything prior to the interview. It might prejudice your case. Depending on what you hear in an interview (how enthusiastic they are about you) you might consider saying that it is hard to commit in advance for the third year for personal reasons. Or continue to keep that private.

If you get an actual offer, then you can attempt to amend it in advance for, say, two years with an optional third. Their rules may permit such flexibility or not.

Also, it is likely that you can resign a position early either by local law or by mutual consent. Long term employment contracts are likely to have exit clauses. Be aware of them. Universities in the US generally are able to set their own policies and the national rules/laws that do exist tend to favor individuals.

My main advice is to keep your options open until you can't. A lot can happen both personally and professionally in a couple of years.

Answer 2

Three years is the standard postdoc "term" in the USA. But you in fact can defer the appointment by, say, a year. And you can leave the position a year before it formally ends. Both are very common and happen in my department all the time. Just do not leave in the middle of academic year.