I'm in my 2nd year of PhD in England, with one supervisor and we are the only two people in our lab. I have two results chapters ready with a major experiment in each, and I'm in the middle of another one. About a month ago my normally absent PI first said that I'm on track, then said I have enough data but don't prioritise tasks well, now she's saying that I'm way behind on data collection (although she did not give me a deadline), she wants me glued to my office desk and to report to her whenever I'm leaving it, even if for 30 mins for lunch just outside the lab, every single day (thankfully bathroom breaks are exempt, at least for now!). Recently I asked if I could come in later (10-11am) at times when my asthma gets worse, she first agreed but the next day changed her mind, now she wants me to go to a doctor and "fix" my asthma although obviously I would have done by now it were possible. She said she's responsible and concerned for my wellbeing but generally she never listens to me or takes me seriously. I have just heard from someone that her dad might be dying which might explain her sudden change in mood. Before this she didn't seem to care where I was. She did suddenly berate me once for being too slow just before Easter last year. That was unusual for her so I thought she was stressed by something personal and ignored that.
I happily worked a 9-5 before my PhD but it was repetitive so I didn't have to think about it much, neither did I have to work evenings and weekends. My PI doesn't let me get time off after late hours/weekend work which I have to do quite often.
I fear that I may be a slow worker sometimes because I'm constantly anxious about doing things the perfect way especially when I'm new to a certain task, this may be related to my diagnosed autism. My office here is noisy and distracting, there are no physical walls between people and I feel stared at which increases my anxiety. Working in empty meeting rooms for the past half a year and coming in slightly later I found it much easier to read and write. Now my PI says she doesn't want to hear about the work I do outside of the office, she just wants me to be at my desk and that's it. The problem with this is that being underslept and not concentrating will make me a lot less productive and will end badly for me. Again, in the past I could be stuck for weeks trying to figure something out and she didn't care.
I grew up in a country with a massive stigma against neurodivergence so I'm not comfortable telling people about my autism diagnosis and I didn't declare it (or the asthma) when I started. Throughout my career so far I never had to - I graduated with a first, got prizes for best performance in my cohort, my previous PI and myself worked 11am-1am publishing four papers from my Masters together, including two with me as first author. Then I got this fully funded PhD. I do feel sorry for my current PI's situation but I don't want my career ruined at this point. Given how she reacted to my asking for health-related accommodations before, I don't feel that telling her about my anxiety will make a difference.
I'm tempted to bring proof of my diagnoses to Disability services and ask them to suggest accommodations for my PI to implement, e.g. working in a quiet space and starting later. I feel this would be forceful perhaps but I have no choice if I'm to continue with my PhD. Would there be any point in this and how would I time it to avoid upsetting my PI?
Alternatively, I could assume that even a non-autistic person would feel anxious in this situation (this is where I'd love to hear your views) and have a reason to speak to my tutor (my assigned pastoral support person) to express concern about my PI's demands. In that case should I mention that I heard they are having family problems and potentially bereavement soon, while keeping the source anonymous? I have no idea whatsoever what could happen to me or her after this.
What do you think is the politically correct way to go about this?
