Timeline for Is the phrase "thanks, but no thanks" appropriate in an email sent to a supervisor?
Current License: CC BY-SA 3.0
17 events
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| Feb 15, 2018 at 19:30 | comment | added | yshavit | This isn't just a question of sensitivity, as some here are suggesting. Like others, I've only ever heard this used in a sarcastic context. Therefore, if someone used it -- particularly in an email, absent things like tone and facial expression -- I would naturally assume it was written sarcastically. That's not because I'm super sensitive (I may not even mind that they're being sarcastic), but because it's a common phrase with common usage. In other words, it's possible for the reader not to mind the sarcasm, but still assume it's there. | |
| Feb 15, 2018 at 11:51 | comment | added | rackandboneman | In a way, it is about opinion. BUT, when it comes to something being perceived as rude or not, opinion is what the question is really about! | |
| Feb 14, 2018 at 1:54 | comment | added | Captain Emacs | @SamT Actually, not being a native speaker, I used to interpret it neutrally/friendly when I first encountered it. However, the far overwhelming lot (not just some) of interpretations of the "no thanks" idiom I hitherto encountered were the negative one. I should think it is safe to assume that semantics ultimately emerges from actual use rather than literal meaning - the meaning of a term is a convention of the collective. Or do you believe that formulations always retain all their original interpretations? "Yeah, right." ;-) | |
| Feb 13, 2018 at 18:12 | comment | added | Sam OT | Clearly you find that it is rude -- and I'm not at all saying that you're "wrong" to do so. However, I think this is just one of those things where it's different for different people. As such, your firm claims I feel are incorrect. That said, because some people may find it offensive, it is definitely not good to be used in the context suggested by the OP! | |
| Feb 13, 2018 at 18:11 | comment | added | Sam OT | @CaptainEmacs Still very assertive without evidence. Most of the people here appear to find it rude, but it is mainly a US community, and it's possible that this is a cross-Atlantic difference. I'm not particularly old (23), but I feel I've been around long enough that not being able to recall ever having hear this with negative connotations is enough to discount the "completely standard in the UK claim". In fact, I would use (and have used) the phrase when I want to show particular politeness, with no hint of objection from the person I'm talking to. [cont...] | |
| Feb 13, 2018 at 15:00 | comment | added | Alex | @Captain Emacs Good point regarding the "thanks" being seen as a substantive. I am German and in my mother language there is no danger of this misunderstanding happening, so I never read it this way in English either. Good to know! | |
| Feb 13, 2018 at 10:20 | comment | added | Captain Emacs | @SamT Added explanation, why it sounds dismissive (with which connotation most posters here seem to agree); thanks for pointing out the lack of evidence. | |
| Feb 13, 2018 at 10:19 | history | edited | Captain Emacs | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
Explain reason for rude connotation.
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| Feb 13, 2018 at 10:04 | comment | added | skymningen | As a non-native speaker, I know of two connotations for this: among friends, it can be a "you know I don't want to even talk about this topic, please stop" but in general it is mostly a sarcastic "keep your tips for yourself or people who want them". | |
| Feb 12, 2018 at 22:26 | comment | added | Sam OT | -1: definitive assertions given without evidence, and ones that go against my experience (as someone from the UK), including "sounds extremely rude" and "highly dismissive". Moreover, the connotation may shine through for the answerer, but by no means is this "completely standard (in the UK)". The answerer's connotation didn't even cross my mind. | |
| Feb 12, 2018 at 22:23 | comment | added | Aaron | @sgroves It is not "always" rude/flippant. Your comment would have been fine if you had said "is often considered rude/flippant." There is nothing rude nor flippant about the phrase itself, but it may be viewed as such by certain sensitive people. If you want to be careful, it is better to avoid it yes, but "always rude/flippant" is an exaggeration. It's just like telling someone they look fat: some people would be angry at me, but my wife would thank me and change clothes before going out. It depends on your tone and the listener's sensitivity. | |
| Feb 12, 2018 at 8:38 | comment | added | Captain Emacs | @silvascientist Of course. But for the answer to be more generally useful, I added this caveat. | |
| Feb 12, 2018 at 0:56 | comment | added | silvascientist | "mitigating circumstances for a non-native speaker" - however, what OP is saying is that OP is non-native, and does not indicate at all that their friend is non-native. So it seems that the non-native speaker is showing more common sense than the (ostensibly) native speaker. | |
| Feb 10, 2018 at 2:18 | vote | accept | padawan | ||
| Feb 9, 2018 at 22:25 | comment | added | user428517 | +1. I get the same connotation as a US speaker, for what it's worth. "Thanks, but no thanks" is always rude/flippant, if you ask me. It's fine to say to a friend in a light-hearted or joking way, but that's about it. "Thank you, but [some explanation]" is a better way to phrase this if you want to keep it short. | |
| Feb 9, 2018 at 21:50 | history | edited | Captain Emacs | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
added 3 characters in body
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| Feb 9, 2018 at 21:45 | history | answered | Captain Emacs | CC BY-SA 3.0 |